


Right Down to It

by espioc



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Established Relationship, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Sibling Rivalry, Single Parents, Sparklings, Time Skips, mentions and somewhat sexual interfaceing, sort of breast feeding (breifly)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 51,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3393362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espioc/pseuds/espioc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blurr is confused, not in love, and saddled with a sparkling. </p><p>Multi-chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this one, it’ supposed to be sweet and tragic.

Blurr shifted in his recharge. He rolled over and jumped back at the large mass beside him “Oh,” he breathed “I forgot you were here.” He said, laying back down as Shockwave sat up .

“After all the time I have spent here I would think you’d be accustom to my presence.” The tank came around the bed and headed towards the door. Blurr turned over to face the Decepticon “where are you going?” he asked, already knowing the answer but always having to inquire.

“Nowhere specific.” Answered Shockwave bluntly, drawing a scowl from Blurr. The blue bot sat up, propping himself up on his elbows “Are you at least going to say goodbye to her this time?” he asked, clearly irritated.

“You know I cannot.”

Blurr huffed “She’s not old enough to know who you are.”

“Four stellar cycles is enough to pick out a face from a crowd. I prefer not to take that risk.”

“If you’re so keen on not taking risks than why do you keep coming here? So you can get off?”

Shockwave wandered back to his aggravated mate “You know it is more than that,” he hummed calmly, slipping a claw beneath the Autobot’s chin “The little thing in the other room would not exist if it were not more than that.”

Blurr scowled “Well she barely exists to you.” He growled, forcing his head away from Shockwave’s grip and refusing to look at the larger mech “You can go now.” He spat, never taking his eyes off the berth.

“Blurr-”

“If we’re not going to interface and you’re not going to see her then there’s no reason for you to be here.”

Shockwave wanted to protest his bond mate’s foul mood but found it best not to argue with someone who was currently Carrying. He had a few minutes to spare, though, and a few questions to ask “How will you explain this one?” asked Shockwave, taking a step closer to his partner.

Blurr bit his lip, tensing at the question “I was hoping--” he hesitated, knowing Shockwave would not like his answer “I was considering getting it removed.” He mumbled quickly, still unwilling to look at the mass above him.

The Creator leaned down “Removed?” he questioned testily “Why would you consider such a thing?”

Blurr shot him a glare “Because Shockwave I can’t lie about how I got sparked! If I have another sparkling they’ll _know_ I’ve kept in contact with you.” Blurr slumped slightly “They accepted the first lie when Lightwave came around because I told them we did it when you were Longarm. Now you’re a wanted criminal.”

Shockwave thought on the matter. He saw Blurr’s thought process as logical but did not like the idea of one of his creations being destroyed “Why don’t I take it?” he offered.

Blurr raised an optic ridge “You take it? What do you mean?”

“I will transport the sparkling into a protoform and it will live with me.”

Blurr half scoffed “Heh, no. I have no idea where you are during the day and even though _you’re_ my spark mate I don’t feel comfortable letting our sparkling be influenced by any other Decepticons crawling around out there. If I have it it’s staying with me.”

“But, my dear, I know that you won’t birth it at all if it would put us under suspicion, which it undoubtedly will.”

“…It was just an idea.” Blurr grumbled “If it means so much to you, though, I can probably make it work. My lies have gotten smoother since I began spending more time with you.”

“Make your choice soon, your sparklings are unpredictable.”

Blurr smirked but tried not to. His large mate leaned down and drew the lowered head into a kiss “I will see you next week,” he mumbled, then turning to leave. He stepped into the living room and was immediately greeted by a tiny scream of happiness.

“Sire!” called his daughter, hoping from the couch and bounding over to her large creator. Blurr watched from the doorway as Shockwave lifted the child, allowing her to hug around his neck. The little femme did not know much of anything about her sire. All she knew was that he was sometimes there in the morning, and she could not wait to see him. She did not know why her creator shifted himself into another form before leaving, and she didn’t know why her Creator and Carrier never spent any time together, or why the Sire did not live with them or stay long when he was around. Everything was passed by her un-phased. Her young processor only ever knew that when the Sire was there, she was happy, and he would always be there eventually.

“My dear what are you doing up so early?” Inquired Shockwave, the child’s presence being unexpected.

“I woke up early,” she stated “And I heard you talking. I wanted to see you, you don’t visit me a lot anymore.”

“Yes, Lightwave, and I apologize.” He let her down but took a knee to be closer to her level “Have you anything exciting to tell me?” he inquired, knowing his daughter always told him of some trivial thing she found utterly amazing. This time, though, she pouted and crossed her arms “Last week Alichrome was being a jerk,” she grumbled “Her and other kids wouldn’t let me play with any of the toys and banned me from the playground, and kept calling me a Decepticon freak.” Her bottom lip trembled a bit but she wasn’t going to cry. Shockwave processed the new information for a moment “Well…” he started “That is quite unfair of them isn’t it?”

Lightwave stomped her foot “Yes!” she agreed intently “Why do they all have to be mean to _me?_ What did I do?”

Shockwave cocked has head to the side “Has this happened before?”

“Yes, a bunch of times, all the time.” She pouted further “Nobody at school likes me.” she perked up suddenly “But I don’t need them to,” Throwing her arms around her Sire’s neck “They’re all meanies. I can just spend time with you.”

Shockwave carefully plucked the child off his neck “I’m afraid not today sweetspark.” He sighed, standing up straight “I have to go.”

Lightwave pouted “Already?” she complained, looking up at her massive Sire.

“I’m afraid so,” Not wanting to leave his child in such disappointment he made her a small promise that he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep “But I will be back tomorrow morning, my dear, and we may spend a few hours together.”

The sparkling brightened significantly “Really!?” she gasped with joy.

Shockwave nodded, leaning down to her once again “Yes…I promise.”

The little girl hopped up and down with excitement “I can’t wait!” she cried. Her Carrier was much less enthusiastic. Shockwave said his goodbyes to the ecstatic child, told her to be good for her Carrier, then went to leave with Blurr following close behind “Shockwave,” he called, keeping his voice low, not wanting Lightwave to hear “Why would you do that?” he asked “You shouldn’t make promises to her that you can’t keep.”

“I fully intend to keep that promise,” Shockwave confirmed.

“Well, intend to or not there’s no guarantee that you will. She really counts on you Shockwave, I don’t want to see her disappointed.”

“I told you, I fully intend on keeping this promise. I will come back tonight and spend a few hours with her in the morning; it is nothing to be concerned about.” He put a hand on the door knob and reached the other forward, grabbing his mate and bringing him closer. This action took Blurr by surprise as he was pressed against the large body “You and I will have our share of fun as well,” Shockwave rumbled quietly as Blurr made minimal protest to get away. Blurr smirked slightly but tried to stay serious “Let me go,” he demanded, trying not to giggle as Shockwave nuzzled his neck “Quit it,” he whispered, pulling his head away “Now let go, I have to get Lightwave ready for school.”

“School,” Shockwave drawled, loosening his grip “That is a matter I wish to discuss with you later.”

Blurr knew that was coming. In order to avoid any further conversation he gave his mate one last kiss “See you later,” he said, ending the conversation and sending his bond mate away. Shockwave got the message and made no effort to continue. He left without another word, leaving his Mate and sparkling alone as he always did.

As soon as he was gone Blurr let out a small breath of relief. He made his way back to the living room and coerced little Lightwave into getting ready for school. He had to be a bit forceful sometimes because the youngling was just as hard headed as her Creators, even at such a young age. Blurr assumed she’d been picking up not listening to the Carrier from Shockwave, that mech never listened.

Blurr stood outside the wash wrack door as she got ready, and thought back on the situation. Blurr had been having relations with Shockwave since he escaped from prison three years ago, only one year after he was put in. Assuming he went off planet the Autobots spent very little time actually looking for him on Cybertron. Someone that big couldn’t possibly hide amongst the Autobots. No one except a shape shifting mech maybe. Apparently no one bothered to revisit Shockwave’s file.

Blurr could not go as far to say he loved Shockwave. He was a criminal, a killer and Decepticon. He was the bot who tried to kill Blurr and came very close to succeeding. Why Blurr was drawn to him he didn’t know. Blurr didn’t know who Longarm really was until the day before Shockwave tried to kill him. By then Blurr had already been sparked and he knew it. How the sparkling survived cube and transfer is beyond comprehension. Blurr wished that it hadn’t. When he first heard that it had he wanted the little beast removed immediately. All of the doctors said it was too late, though, transfer could come any day.

Shockwave and Blurr were never supposed to get intimate, they were never supposed to meet at night and interface, they were never supposed to have any sparklings together. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t natural. But Blurr had spark bonded with Longarm so the two were drawn to each other. Blurr couldn’t get himself to report the monster. For one thing he didn’t know where Shockwave actually was. The Decepticon just showed up whenever he wanted to. Another factor was Lightwave. While it was selfish Blurr couldn’t devastate his own sparkling like that, not when she was so young. So Blurr let it all be. He let Shockwave come and go as he pleased and did not question it. He let Shockwave interact with their sparkling and interface with his mate, and didn’t say a word, didn’t question where this had all gone.

Shockwave had some feelings for Blurr but he could not call it love precisely. Just a feeling. They shared intimate relations with little feeling but sometimes passion, and they both loved the sparkling equally. Whenever they were together they were either arguing or interfacing. Blurr did not like Shockwave hanging around for more than maybe an hour. He didn’t want their sparkling to be influenced by her creators constant bickering or any Decepticon ideas Shockwave might slip into her young processor.

When Lightwave was three Shockwave stayed over for nearly four hours. In the middle of it Lightwave, standing between her two arguing Creators, began to cry intensely because her beloved Sire, and wonderful Carrier had not stopped bickering for nearly a half hour. This only led to further argument and Lightwave being put down for a nap.

From there both parents decided it best they stay away from each other as not to distress the little thing they’d created.

Blurr was snapped back from his thoughts when Lightwave rushed past him. She planted herself in the middle of the living room floor, a pout clear on her face.

“Lightwave,” Blur sighed, having seen this protest before “Get up, you have to go to school.”

“I’m not going!” she insisted, turning her nose up as Blurr kneeled down to her level. Blurr, too tired and impatient for this behavior, was not going to have it “Lightwave, get up and get you’re bag, I’m not going to fight you.”

Lightwave dropped her tough posture and went into a whine “No” she cried as Blurr stood up and walked to the other side of her “Lightwave,” he said again “Get up, right now. I’ll count to three. One-”

Lightwave, with tears in her optics, slammed her fists on the floor “I don’t want to go,” she whined.

“I don’t care. Two-“

Lightwave shook her head back and forth, slamming her fist repeatedly on the floor before hopping up and heading to the door. Blurr followed her but they only got as far as the door before Lightwave threw a fit, throwing her school bag on the floor and yelling at her Carrier “I don’t want to go!” she cried “I’m not going!”

“Pick up your bag.” Blurr demanded, in no mood to deal with this kind of behavior. The little girl refused, yelling a loud “No!” to her tired Carrier. Blurr leaned down and grabbed the girl by the arm “I am not going to deal with this behavior,” he said, keeping his voice low but laced with clear anger “You do not talk to me that way. Pick up your bag, you’re going to school, and the next time you act like this I’m telling you’re Sire.”

Lightwave’s bottom lip trembled as tears slipped down her cheeks. She continued to pout, though, not saying a word to her Carrier. She picked up her bag and followed the Carrier to the school. At the entrance to the school square Blurr took a knee in front of the still pouting sparkling “Be good,” he commanded “And if anyone is mean to you, ignore them, they don’t know anything. I know I was mean this morning but Lightwave, please don’t argue with me, okay?”

Lightwave huffed “I’m sorry,” she grumbled, staring at the sidewalk.

Blurr smiled. He turned his head and tapped his cheek with a finger “Come on,” he said, “You still love me.”

After a second Lightwave hopped up and gave her Carrier a kiss on the cheek before running off towards the school entrance. Blurr stood and watched until she was all the way inside.

Blurr raced home. He collapsed on the berth, exhausted. The new, yet experienced, Carrier had not refueled since yesterday after noon and was running on less than fumes. Despite being sparked Blurr limited his energon consumption. With one sparkling and another on the way life had become expensive. If he was still a professional racer he would be well off, but those days were behind him, getting back in the lineup now would be difficult and take up too much of his time. Blurr didn’t want to be a celebrity again, too much stress, too much time, he was a Carrier now and an Elite Guard member before that. Blurr had no time for flashy lights and screaming fans.

With the amount of income he had, though, and all the expenses he had, Blurr often went without. He went without energy and sleep. Shockwave took up most of his night and Lightwave was his all day. The only time Blurr ever got to rest, where he wasn’t working and wasn’t interfacing and wasn’t taking care of a sparkling or two, where the two hours after he dropped Lightwave off at school. Those he spent recharging, blissfully, until the alarm rang and he was kicked from the world of relaxation into a hectic mob.

Blurr still worked for the Elite Guard. He was used mostly as a courier, delivering things throughout the bases, but every once and a while he was called back into the intelligence ring and sent on a small, almost always unimportant, mission. That, however, had only happened twice in four years.

After his two hours were up Blurr’s optics sprang awake with the alarm and he sat up quickly. Scowling at the obnoxious device where the sound originated from he climbed from the berth and made himself presentable before heading to the base.

Sometimes Blurr didn’t have anything to do so he was assigned to organize something or any trivial thing that needed to be done. He did the jobs without question, it didn’t matter what they were, no paint off his plating.

This morning, though, Blurr was swamped with deliveries and packages and spoken messages that went back and forth longer than was really necessary, delaying other more important things he may be doing. The blue racer was busy all day, he didn’t get a lick of rest, his feet never stopped moving except to hand the package to it’s recipient.

It was a good paying job, but energon was getting more and more expensive and Blurr had a lot more to pay for than just energy. He had rent on his apartment, school bills, school supplies, anything else his sparklings called for.

Later into the evening, when Blurr was supposed to be heading home, he was stopped by Cliffjumper, who was now head of intel.

“Blurr,” he called stepping into the hallways and Blurr headed toward the elevator. The blue bot turned to his shorter superior “Sir?” he replied, still finding it strange to call Cliffjumper Sir.

The red mech handed Blurr a few files “I need these delivered to the executive building across town. Jazz just called, Magnus needs them right away.”

“I-I can’t, I have to pick up my kid from school.” Said Blurr slightly hesitant “No one else can take her home.”

“Well no one else can do this.”

“But-”

“It’s the Magnus, Blurr, orders from the top.”

Blurr looked uneasily at the files presented to him. Eventually he let out a defeated sigh “Alright,” he agreed “I’ll get her after I guess,” he grumbled before rushing to the stairwell and running across town all the way to the executive building. He was met with a cranky secretary who told him the Magnus wanted Blurr to deliver the files himself. Blurr sighed, exasperated, but followed the command and headed for the Magnus office.

At that time Sentinal was still acting Magnus, despite some of the council’s protests. Jazz was waiting outside the door when Blurr arrived so the Blue bot hoped he could just hand off the files and be on his way.

“Hey Blurr,” Jazz greeted with a smile, standing up straight from leaning on the wall “Sentinal is waiting inside.”

“Why is he doing this?” Blurr asked testily “He know I have a sparkling.”

Jazz half frowned, falling under a more sullen tone “I tried to convince him not to do it, Blurr, I swear I really tried.”

“Not to do what?”

“He wants to meet with you. I’ll tell you, though, you’re not going to like what he has to say.”

“What is he going to say?”

“I’m going to leave that for you to find out. You need anything after this, though, I’m here for you brother.”

“Well I need something now but you can’t help me.” Grumbled Blurr, knowing Lightwave would be standing outside her school for who knows how long after it’s ended. It ended five minutes after he was supposed to be done with work. This surprise meeting could have her sit outside alone, while it’s getting dark, for another 20 minutes, or more.

Blurr went to go through the door but Jazz fell in his way “You need something?” he asked, having heard Blurr’s mumble “I know you’ve got sparklings.”

“Sparkling,” Blurr corrected, falling into an all-around foul mood “And she’s at school, and I’m _supposed_ to be picking her up right now.”

“I could get her,”

“She doesn’t know you. I am very clear about strangers.”

“I’ll get her Blurr, I’ll take your ID card so she’ll trust me. If you’re willing to give it up of course.”

Blurr twisted his face a moment before handing over his card and telling Jazz the location of the school. He went for the doors again as Jazz heading in the opposite direction. Blurr paused, looking back to his fried “Jazz,” he called, drawing the attention of his colleague “Thanks. I appreciate this.”

Jazz smiled “No problem, anything for a fellow Autobot.” With that they parted.

Blurr stepped into Sentinal Magnus’s office where the larger, darker blue bot stood confidently as he always did. He did not face the smaller Autobot.

“Blurr,” he started, turning to the former racer “Do you have the files I requested?”

“Yes sir,” Blurr confirmed, handing over the small stack of data pads. Sentinel looked them over before transporting them to a nearby desk and turning back to Blurr “So,” he started “You have sparklings right?” he asked out of the blue. Blurr half frowned “Sparkling,” he corrected, crossing his arms.

Sentinel scowled slightly “Alright, sparkling. How old is it now?”

“She’s four, why?” Blurr narrowed his optics, suspicious of where this conversation was going. Sentinel continued to ask unprovoked questions “A little femme right?”

“That’s why I said _she.”_

Sentinel appreciated the agent’s tone as much as Blurr appreciated where this series of questions was going. Still, though, they continued “What’s her name?”

“Lightwave,”

“Does that come from Shockwave?” Sentinel’s voice suddenly held a low, slightly accusing tone as he sat down at his desk. Blurr scowled, tired of being so formal with this jerk “What are you getting at Sentinel, I have better places to be.” All protocol simply fell out the window.

Sentinel stood “Don’t talk to me that way soldier.” He demanded, coming around the desk “I am your Magnus and I have every right to ask you any questions I see fit, and you have to answer them!” he came close, backing Blurr to the wall “We have a fugitive on our hands and we need all the information you have on him. I know you know something.”

“I haven’t seen that monster since he tried to crush me.” Blurr lied testily “Why would I ever want to!?”

Sentinel backed up slightly “Spark mates are drawn to each other. If he’s on this world you, of all people, will be able to find him.”

Blurr basically scoffed “My partner was Longarm…or at least it was supposed to be…I don’t know where he is and I don’t understand why you didn’t think of this three years ago when he originally escaped.”

“It wasn’t relevant then.” Sentinel regained a more professional manner “We have reason to believe you’ve kept in contact with Shockwave after his escape. Would you like to comment?”

Blurr kept his mouth shut. It was probably a bad decision but he had nothing to say. Sentinel leaned down to him “If you know _anything_ Blurr, you need to tell us. It’s your duty as an Autobot to report any Decepticon activity. Even those of your precious sparkmate.” He spat the words with Malice, standing up straight and staring down at Blurr.

“I _never_ cared for Shockwave, I loved Longarm, but Longarm doesn’t exist. I don’t know where Shockwave is, if I did I would tell you, I have no reason to keep it from you.”

“Oh you don’t?” Sentinel challenged, then taking a step back slightly “I can see you’re under a lot of stress Blurr, you’ve got things to pay for, a sparkling to take care of. It’s hard doing it all on your own isn’t it? Working a tireless job, you know, having to pay for enough energon for both of you. You’re just one bot though—unless you have help.”

Blurr was taken aback by such a stupid suggestion. He scoffed “What? You think Shockwave is raising my sparkling with me?”

“It would make sense. Having the Sire in the house is sometimes better than not.”

“Even if that Sire is a Decepticon?”

Sentinel’s scowl deepened “I know you’ve kept in contact with that Decepticon, now tell me the truth!”

“For the last time, _sir_ , I don’t know where he is. I don’t know where he went, I don’t know where he ended up and I don’t know anything about him.”

“You’re lying, I know you are now tell me where he is!” the larger Autobot backed Blurr to the wall and slammed a hand on each side of his head, blocking the blue bot in.

“I don’t _know.”_ Blurr spat “I don’t know where he is!”

“If you tell us where he is, Blurr, or anything you know, all charges will be dropped. If you _don’t_ , however, you will be thrown into an Autobot prison for life for association and plotting with a Decepticon. And that little sparkling of yours, Light- whatever her name is, will be thrown into the scrap heap.”

Blurr almost gasped but held back “You can’t do that to a child,” he growled, looking Sentinel straight in the optic. Sentinel seemed to almost smile “I can if it’s a Decepticon sparkling. And I can even take that little thing away right now for neglect and the inability to care for it.”

“You can’t do that!” Blurr threw himself forward but was shoved back into the wall.

“I can do that!” Seninel roared “Things have changed since the last time, Blurr, Autobot council and law isn’t so sweet any more. Right now I can do anything I want. That includes taking that little sparkling of yours away and holding you for questioning. I know you look like the innocent victim in this case but I see through your little charade, you’re keeping in contact with that monster and if you don’t admit it soon than I’ll have no choice but to place you under arrest for suspected federation with a Decepticon.”

“You don’t have any proof.”

“I don’t need proof. Now tell me the truth and all charges will be dropped.”

Blurr almost considered telling Sentinel all he knew. But after a moment he changed his mind. He wasn’t going to put Lightwave through all that. Shockwave would be gone soon and even if he hadn’t escaped prison the Decepticons were going to regroup again, they were going to get reorganized and start a war. Blurr just couldn’t rat the damn bot out.

“I don’t know where he is,” Blurr insisted again, his voice quiet and calm but still holding tension “I don’t know where he is. I’m sorry Sentinel, I can’t help you. If I could help you catch him I would, but I can’t…Now please, can I go home? My sparkling is waiting for me.”

After a moment Sentinel leaned away, freeing the smaller bot “You’re dismissed,” he stated “But if Shockwave does contact you, you report to me, understand?”

Blurr stood up straight and saluted “Yes sir.” He agreed, his voice smaller than it had been before. A few seconds later he headed for the door. Before he could leave, though, Sentinel had a few more things to say “Blurr,” he called the agent back “How old is your sparkling?”

“I told you, she’s four.”

“So she’s in grade school?”

“Pre-school.”

“I’m afraid, due to her current position, being a Decepticon sparkling, we’ll have to pull her out of her current school.”

Blurr was taken aback slightly “You what!?” he stuttered enraged.

“You’re sparkling is no longer permitted in public schools. She’s a safety hazard.”

“A safety hazard!?” Blurr was discombobulated “How could a child be a safety hazard, this is ridiculous!”

“We’re afraid her Decepticon half could influence other children and we prefer to keep that away from their young processors.”

“She doesn’t even know about her Sire!”

“Doesn’t matter. She could have abilities she can’t control that may injure the other kids. You understand right Blurr?”

“May have-” Blurr growled in frustration “Then how is she going to get an education!”

“She’s still allowed in Elite Guard academy. If you don’t put her there then your only option is homeschool.”

“I can’t homeschool I have a Job!”

“Well then I guess you’ll just have to figure something out then, won’t you.”

Blurr wanted to say something but he knew nothing he could say would change the situation. Instead he headed off.

Blurr ran home. He went as fast as he could and barely realized when he was at his front door. When he entered the house he found Jazz sitting on the couch with Lightwave sitting contently beside him watching the vid-screen. Jazz looked to his colleague and smiled “Hey Blurr,” he greeted.

Blurr didn’t reply. He felt strange. Black blotches got in the way of his optics and his legs became numb beneath him. His knees shook until they finally gave out with his vision and Blurr collapsed onto the kitchen tile.

Jazz was up immediately. He kneeled beside his friend and lifted his head slightly “Blurr,” he called, then realizing he wasn’t going to get a reply. He sat Blurr up and waited a few seconds for the bot to regain consciousness “You Alright Blurr?” he asked as the fellow agent came to. Blurr didn’t answer for a minute. He had to recall why he fainted in the first place.

“No,” he answered “Sentinel is a stupid fragger.”

“Ah. I’m guessing you weren’t too fond of what he had to say.” Started Jazz, standing up and helping Blurr to do the same.

“What right does he have taking my sparkling out of school on the premise that she’s some sort of safety hazard?” started Blurr, sitting at the kitchen table “She’s four stellar cycles old there’s no way she can do any damage even if she did have the abilities that her Sire has, which, as far as I can tell, she does not.”

Jazz didn’t say anything for a moment “You know Blurr,” he started, sitting across from the blue racer “We can’t really understand you when you’re upset.”

“Did you catch a single word that I said?”

“I heard Sentinel is a stupid fragger who has no right to pull your child out of school. I can get behind that. Didn’t hear much of anything else after that though, but it doesn’t matter, I know what he told you, and I’m sure I can guess what you’re thinking about it. But this whole school deal isn’t the only thing that grinds your gears is it? Something about Shockwave too.”

Blurr crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, not facing his fellow Autobot “He thinks I know where he is.”

“Do you?”

Blurr scoffed “No,” he said, turning to look at Jazz “If I did I’d tell them.”

Jazz didn’t speak for a moment again. He had to think through his next statement “Lightwave said something pretty interesting to me when we got to talking.” He started, seeing how Blurr tensed as the words left his lips “She said she had a pretty cool Sire, and that he was going to come visit longer than usual.” His tone was suspicious but not overly so. He wasn’t exactly accusing Blurr of anything but Blurr got the message loud and clear. The speedster was reluctant to reply. Jazz leaned forward slightly “Blurr, if you know where Shockwave is then tell us, all charges we may hold will be dropped, I swear on my spark we won’t deceive you. Just tell us what you know.” He tried to convince his close lipped friend to little avail.

Blurr, after a moment, let out a small sigh “I don’t know where he is,” he started again, still unwilling to look at Jazz “All I know is that he comes at night and leaves in the morning. I have no idea where he goes, he barely even talk to me, he just--” he didn’t want to tell Jazz he came to get off with his mate, it wouldn’t be right. Blurr looked to Lightwave, and he lied “He comes to see her. I don’t know why he insists on coming back, but he does and I’ve stopped trying to find out where he’s staying and I’ve stopped trying to fight him. That’s all I know, I don’t know where he is.”

“How come you’ve never told us!”

“Because-” Now was the time to lie. He had to. It was the only way to get all of the charges off himself and make him look like the innocent victim again. He didn’t exactly want Shockwave to get captured, but he didn’t want anything to go wrong either. This would take a massive amount of lying, as well as acting. Blurr started again, half forcing tears past his optics “Because he threatened us, he threatened her-” he didn’t like feeling or acting pathetic and weak, but if that’s what it took then so be it “He told me he was watching, all the time, and that If I slipped up once, if I didn’t co-operate with him when he-” He paused, then began again “he said he would take her away, turn her into a Decepticon, or offline her or-” He stopped himself, choking up a but and putting on a good show. Jazz just listened, fully convinced. After a moment where Blurr couldn’t continue Jazz spoke “Did he—do anything to you?” he asked, fearing the answer.

Blurr looked up at him. Now was a good time to lie about where the other sparkling came from “He—he has…forced himself on me, a couple of times.” Blurr’s bottom lip trembled and real tears began to fall at the thought of what he’d been doing for the last three years. Saddness suddenly turned to anger “That fragger! I wish he would just--” he stopped himself, as if afraid Shockwave would hear.

Jazz’s face remained fairly stoic, with a hit of anger slipping through “We’ll find him, Blurr, and we’ll get him off your back. He won’t hurt you again.”

“I don’t think he can hurt me any more than he already has.” Blurr put a hand on his chest and looked to Lightwave for a moment before turning his gaze to the hand on his breast plate. Jazz looked between the hand and Blurr’s face, and came to a horrifying conclusion “Blurr--” he started “A-are you sparked?” he asked, shock twisting his features.

Blurr simply nodded.

Jazz leaned forward “Blurr, how are you going to take care of two spark-lings all on your own? With Lightwave out of school, your job, you’ve barely got enough for the both of you, you can’t take the burden of another.” Jazz leaned back, contemplating his next suggestion “Have you considered-- getting it removed?” Jazz wasn’t always one to suggest this, he didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of getting a sparkling removed, but in some cases it was necessary.

“I have…” Blurr trailed off “But Shockwave didn’t like that idea too much. He said if I got it removed he’d rip out my spark and see how _I_ felt about it.” Blurr lowered his Optics “I just want this nightmare to end,” he whispered.

Jazz stood, putting hand on his shoulder “We’ll get you out Blurr, I promise. Do you know when Shockwave is coming to the apartment next?”

“H-He always come at the beginning of the week. He came last night,” Blurr unconsciously squeezed his legs shut, scrunching up slight “He should be here next week, first cycle, that’s when he always come’s he’s never missed it.” That was a lie, but Blurr played it so well.

The hand on his shoulder tightened before releasing.

A few moments later Blurr lead Jazz to the door “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Jazz offered “I can help you out Blurr, you know I can. If you ever need anything, if Lightwave-”

“Thank you Jazz,” Blurr smiled weakly, his voice equally so “But I’m fine for now. I’ll go in tomorrow and inform them, or, maybe you should…They trust you more than they do me.”

“I’ll get on that. Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“Not right now, but, thank you. I really can’t thank you enough.”

Jazz shook his head “It’s no problem, Blurr. Have a safe night.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Blurr shut the door and locked it. He turned around and fell against it, slipping to the floor. Lightwave came and sat next to him. She didn’t say anything, she just sat there with him until it was time to move.

Blurr prepared the energon for his sparkling then, after dinner, sent her to bed. He sat in the darkened apartment, sipping on a weak cup of energon before his mate arrived, slipping in without the slightest sound.

“I protected you.” Blurr said, not even turning to the shadow “I lied to them to keep you safe.”

“Good.” Shockwave cooed darkly, slipping a claw under his bot’s chin “Come to the berth.” He demanded, his voice low and hypnotizing. Blurr followed without a word, without question. He laid on the berth and let the monster take him, let it use him and twist him, and deliver him into oblivion, and that’s what Blurr needed right now.

He needed oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

High Pitched pants filled the room as Shockwave rammed into his overly stimulated partner. Blurr was almost completely incoherent, but as he reached an overload his partner suddenly stopped.

“What are you doing?” Blurr sighed, impatient when so close to release.

“We have a visitor.” Whispered the larger, pulling out and retracting his spike. Blurr, realizing what his partner meant, let out a small gasp and looked to the door where a little head peeked in “Lightwave,” he breathed, climbing out from under his large mate and rushing to the little girl in the doorway. He eased her back into the hall, closing the door behind them. Blurr kneeled before the sparkling “What are you doing up so late?” he asked, keeping his hands clamped lightly on her arms in concern.

“I had a bad dream,” answered the child in a small voice. Before Blurr could say anything she spoke again “Why was Sire on top of you?”

Blurr assumed a question like that was coming. He desperately searched for a good answer “Uh…No reason.” He stood up and walked Lightwave back to her room “Why don’t you tell me about that bad dream?” he proposed. Lightwave held fast to her Carrier’s hand until she was lifted back into her berth.

“So,” started Blurr “What happened in this bad dream of yours?”

“I dreamed that Sire went away forever!” she cried “That I was all alone. Neither you were there, no one was there.” She said in a more somber tone. Blurr didn’t know how to react to that “Well,” he started calmly “Your Sire and I are here now, you have nothing to worry about.” He assured, tucking her in “We’re not going anywhere.” He gave her a kiss on the head “I promise. Now get back to recharge, you’ve got school tomorrow.” With that he stood and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

“Is she alright?” inquired Shockwave, who had been waiting in the hall.

“Just a bad dream,” Blurr stated, clearly displeased by something. Shockwave followed his foul tempered mate into the living room. Blurr stopped in the middle and scrunched up a little bit “I _Knew_ I should have never let you see her!” he raged, turning and pointing an accusing finger at the larger mech “I knew something like this would happen! But do you ever listen to me? No!”

“Blurr, what are you talking about?” asked Shockwave taking a step closer.

“She is _so_ afraid of losing you Shockwave!” Yelled the Carrier in an almost desperate tone “And someday she _will_ lose you, Shockwave, I know she will.”

“There is no guarantee of that.”

“ _Yes,_ there _is._ You could die, or get captured, or the war will start again like it always does. What will she think when her beloved Sire is on the opposite side? She loves you _so much_ Shockwave, but this was never supposed to happen. She was never supposed to get attached.”

“Well there’s nothing we can do about that now, is there?”

Blurr scowled “Someday you’re going to leave.” He said “I hope she’s not old enough to remember when you do.”

“Then I suppose you hope it’s soon.”

“Sooner would be better than later.”

Shockwave wrapped his arms around the tense bot who refused to face him again “Come now,” cooed the larger “Is that really what you want to think about now? I will be gone soon enough. I will leave as soon as the sparkling is born, which should be in less than two days by my calculations.”

Blurr frowned “It doesn’t feel like two days.” He grumbled, crossing his arms and refusing to acknowledge the larger mech further. Shockwave continued to push “I trust my judgment better. Why don’t we get back to what we were doing before we were interrupted?” He proposed, leaning down and nuzzling the stiff cables of his partner’s neck. Blurr stifled a moan, trying to stay serious, but falling for his partner’s smooth tone and large servos caressing his body. Claws slipped between his legs, rubbing the closed valve and coercing it to open. Blurr let out a shaky moan, falling back into his partner’s arms and allowing himself to be taken.

Shockwave carried his mate to the berth and continued what they’d been doing earlier. He took very little time preparing the valve and inserting a spike.

The interface was tired and blissful, Blurr barely made a sound above a loud gasp while Shockwave stayed almost completely silent the entire time. Blurr was a limp mess, lost in his own pleasure and forgetting what he was doing and who he was doing it with. All he paid attention to was how good it felt doing it.

At the end of the session Shockwave rolled over and laid beside his partner. The berth was not large enough for him but Shockwave didn’t mind letting on leg sit on the floor while his head rested against the wall. Sometimes Blurr slept on top of him, a more comfortable position for the larger mech.

“Shockwave,” said Blurr quietly, optics still offline as he lay limp on his stomach, halfway under the banket. Shockwave looked but said nothing, waiting for Blurr to continue. The blue racer sat up slightly, opening tired optics that could barely comprehend anything in the dark “Do you want me to sleep on top tonight?” he asked, knowing the position was actually more comfortable for the both of them. Without a word both began to shift position. Blurr climbed atop his mate as Shockwave slid into the middle of the berth. Blurr’s head rested on the large mech’s chest, the blue racer’s arms pinned between his chest plate and Shockwave’s.

After a little while, when Blurr was just beginning to slip into recharge, Shockwave lifted his head “Love?” he said, referring to Blurr. Blurr gave a hum in reply, giving very little attention to the bot but recognizing his pet name.

“What have you decided about the sparkling?” asked the Decepticon, keeping his voice quiet.

“I’m going to have it, and I’m going to keep it.” Answered Blurr.

“I am glad you’ve made the decision.”

“It’s too late for me to get it removed anyways, wanting this has nothing to do with it.”

“There are many ways in which you could have gotten in removed, and I know you are aware of that. You chose not to.”

Blurr scoffed, repositioning himself a bit “You believe what you want.”

“How are you going to explain this one?”

“I already have.”

“Oh?”

Blurr sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows “I told them you forced me, and that you’ve been forcing me, to interface with you, and you just happened to get me sparked.”

“Interesting set of lies you’ve weaved here.”

Blurr laid back down with a stiff ‘hm’ a smile sneaking onto his lips for some reason. Shockwave placed a hand on his back “My offer still stands.” He started “I know you cannot afford to take care of both.”

“I will make due.” Blurr stated stiffly, knowing what Shockwave said was true but refusing to admit it. The hand on his back became heavy “You are lying.” Shockwave rumble “You are well aware of your ability to take care of two, and it is minimal. Let me take one it would be better for all of you.”

Blurr scowled, sitting up again “Listen Shockwave,” he spat “You’re not getting my sparkling under any circumstances, so stop asking, I am too tired and sore to deal with you right now, now good night.” Blurr threw his head back down and forced his optics offline, hoping to Primus that Shockwave would just leave him alone.

The larger mech made no effort to continue the conversation. He fell back into recharge as well and left his mate alone for the night.

 

* * *

 

  

In the morning Blurr woke up alone. He looked around, hoping Shockwave had not broken his promise to Lightwave and left. The former racer crawled from the berth and made his way into the living room. He found Lightwave and Shockwave sitting in the kitchen, sipping on energon. Lightwave brightened as her Carrier entered “Good morning,” she greeted happily, swinging her feet with calm delight.

Blurr sat at the table with them, not questioning it. He took the cup of energon sitting there and drank it up as though his life depended on it. When he was finished he lowered the cup and looked out at his little “family”

“It’s a bit early don’t you think?” he asked.

Lightwave answered before Shockwave could get in a word “It has to be, I have school today.”

“That’s right,” Blurr drawled, as if coming to that realization “You do…so what are you and Sire planning to do before you go to school?” Blurr suddenly felt a contraction in his chest. He stiffened but ignored it.

Lightwave looked to her Sire, unable to answer that question on her own. She’d never really spent more than an hour with her Sire, there were so many possibilities. “I don’t know,” started Shockwave, seeing that the responsibility of answering that question fell to him “I suppose we will see.”

Before Blurr could reply the phone range. He rushed to answer it but barely got to say hello before Cliffjumper’s voice came through the speaker, telling Blurr not to come into work that day. Blurr didn’t argue, he could use a day off.

When he returned to the table Shockwave inquired who’d called. Blurr answered with “no one” and Shockwave pushed no further. Later into the morning Blurr retired to his room, leaving Shockwave to keep track of their little femme, trusting him enough to leave them alone. Blurr knew fully well that Shockwave would never hurt their daughter, or allow any harm to befall her.

He may be a cruel Decepticon, but he was a good Sire.

Blurr was asleep for most of the day. He woke up every now and then to contractions but was otherwise unbothered. He woke up in the afternoon to Shockwave standing over him. This came as no surprise but did cause a small jolt “Why do you have to be so creepy like that?” asked Blurr, sitting up.

“You are having contractions.” Shockwave stated “Why are you not informing me of this? If I am going to be delivering it I must know when it is ready to be delivered.”

Blurr sat up further “I’m fine, it’s not ready for transfer yet.”

“Are you sure it is not _you_ who isn’t ready? I know the process is painful.”

Blurr threw his legs over the bed “No, you _don’t_ know, because _you’ve_ never given birth. Look, Shockwave, I’ve been through this before, I think I know when there’s a baby about to pop out of me.”

“I prefer to take every precaution.”

“Do we even have a protoform to put it in?”

“Yes. I obtained one this morning well before either of you awoke.”

Blurr couldn’t reply as a sharp contraction squeezed at his chest. The blue bot clawed at his tight chest plate, doubling over in an attempt to ease the pain.

Shockwave took his mate by the shoulders and eased him back into the berth “Rest for now, but stay sitting up. I will return with the protoform. You must tell me if the contractions get too sever so that I know when to begin transfer.”

Blurr rolled his eyes. He waited patiently for Shockwave to return with the protoform. When he did return Shockwave instantly got to work making Blurr more comfortable than entirely necessary. He set the Blue bot against a mountain of pillows and laidd two blankets across his legs “Shockwave,” Blurr complained “This is unnecessary.”

“I simply want you to be as comfortable as possible. You are correct, I don’t know what it feels like, but I doubt the experience is enjoyable.”

“It’s not,” Blurr grumbled, adjusting himself against the pillows “But I still think this is a bit excessive-” Blurr was interrupted by the pain in his chest. The next two hours were nothing but contractions that seared Blurr’s spark, yelling at him that it was almost time to transfer. In that time Shockwave made sure everything was prepared for after transfer. The crib kept in Blurr’s room had remained since Lightwave had stopped using it, so all Shockwave had to do was collect a blanket to wrap the new arrival in and make sure there was energon for his partner

Shockwave sat beside Blurr until it was time for Lightwave to come home. While it was risky to go out on the brink of night Shockwave knew that Lightwave could not get home alone. He transformed into a bot that looked like the average autobot, and picked up his daughter from school.

Lightwave was excited to see him but disappointed when she was banished to her room for the rest of the day.

Shockwave returned to Blurr’s bed side. By then the blue racer was nearly ready for transfer. His chest plate was open and the sparkling, now half as big as his own, pulled away with all it’s might. Blurr arched against the padding behind him. Shockwave placed the protoform against Blurr’s chest. One of Blurr’s hands clung to the sheet while the other squeezed Shockwave’s claws as if the life depended on it.

Blurr’s vents activated and switched on and off in desperate pants “Why the frag did you do this to me again!?” he screamed “Oh frag this! Frag this frag this frag this! You stupid fragger! How about the next time we interact you not knock me up like primus damn, stupid fragger!” he screamed, barely even comprehending the words coming from his mouth. He started to scream again but it was so quick that it was completely incomprehensible.

Transfer took nearly a half hour. When it was over a tiny spark-ling sat in Blurr’s lap. Shockwave took it to examine it as Blurr fell back against the horde of pillows behind him, exhausted. Vents heaved on and off, his limbs were limp and his spark beat was low. His chest plate closed, and through the exhaustion, Blurr managed to huff a few words “What…is it?” he asked, his body unwilling to move. The first time he did this he had some sort of pain killers to assist in the transfer. This time, however, there were no such aids.

Shockwave cradled the new being in one arm. He played with it’s fingers, examined it’s optics and limbs and tried to determine whether it would be mech or femme “I believe it is a mech,” said Shockwave after a moment. The color of this little thing was just filling in. It was a beautiful light teal, with dark navy blue detailing. Tiny horns stuck out from the side of it’s head.

Blurr’s finger’s twitched. He wanted to reach out, but he couldn’t. This caused Blurr great distress, he wanted to move, he wanted to see his baby “Let me see it” he sighed, struggling to get the words out. Shockwave denied the request “You can barely move. Rest now, you may see it later.”

Blurr cringed with pain as he tried to move in protest “Shockwave!” he called as loud as he could, which wasn’t very loud at all “Let me see my sparkling, let me…see—it” his head fell limp with the rest of his body and he fell into an uneasy recharge.

Shockwave wrapped the new being in a blanket and placed it carefully into the crib. He then turned to his partner, who was finally able to rest.

Transfers were not often, if ever, done alone or at home due to the enormous amount of strain it puts on the body. Blurr would be lucky if he recovered in a week, even with Blurr’s advanced recovery.

Shockwave stayed in the apartment until morning when Blurr awoke, still in some pain and slightly limp, but aware enough now, and desperate to see his sparkling. He looked to Shockwave, who had remained awake the entire night “Shockwave,” called the Carrier in a weak voice, laced with static “Can I see him now please. I want-I want to feed him. He needs to be fed.”

Shockwave stood without a question and retrieved the new born for Blurr. The blue bot carefully took the child in shaky arms and held it up to the tiny nozzles, barely visible, sticking slightly from his chest. Shockwave, due to how weak Blurr still was, actually had to assist in latching the child. It suckled until Carrier fell back into recharge. At that point Shockwave returned the baby to the crib and waited for Blurr to wake up again.

At some point during the day Lightwave, who was no longer attending school, came in to meet the new arrival. She did not look particularly happy at first but her frown turned to a smile when Shockwave let her hold it. It was a short visit, afterwards Shockwave sent Lightwave back to her room and asked that she stay there until he called her out.

 

* * *

 

 

“They’re going to be here, you know that. They’re going to come for you.” Said Blurr, still slightly dazed on the third day after transfer “You have to leave, you said you would leave.”

“I will leave when you can lift yourself from the berth and stand on your own. I will not allow you to be alone any sooner.”

“I can sit up.”

“But can you walk?”

“They’re going to start getting suspicious.”

“Why? Lightwave isn’t allowed in school any more-”

“How did you-?”

“And you have been called out of work every day this week. They are preparing to come here and take me when you told them I would be here, but by that time I will be gone.”

Blurr let out a breath. After another moment he sat up, threw his legs over the berth, and went to stand up. His knee’s failed at first, recovering from lack of use, but with the assistance of Shockwave Blurr made it out of the room and into the kitchen. By that time Blurr was already tired. He waved a hand, as if gesturing for something to come closer “Bring me the sparkling,” he demanded, trying his hardest to pace himself but finding it difficult. Shockwave followed the command and retrieve the creature, going to wake up Lightwave as well “It needs a designation.” Shockwave pointed out, handing the child to Blurr as Lightwave wandered sleepily into the room.

Blurr looked down at the little thing “Blue,” he said quietly, brushing the smallest bit of dust from it’s new face plate.

“Blue?” questioned Shockwave.

Lightwave went on her tippy toes to stare at the little thing in her Carrier’s arms “I like Blue.” She said “It’s pretty.”

Blurr smiled “Blue it is then,” he looked up at Shockwave, looming over them “Any objections to that, Sire?” asked the Blue racer, knowing it didn’t matter if he did.

“Whatever you wish.” Was the soft reply.

Blurr smiled, looking down at his precious sparkling. While the sparklings he had come from a mech he could not precisely say he loved, his feelings from the sparkling were without question. He would do anything for them, he loved them more than his own life, no matter how much a burden they truly were. He would never allow such thoughts to sneak into his processor, nothing could make him feel otherwise.

Blurr began to feed the sparkling as Shockwave retrieved energon for everyone. They sipped mostly in silence, no one having anything to say. At the end of the morning Shockwave instructed Lightwave to go play in her room. She objected at first but soon came to obey her Sire, leaving her creators alone.

“Today is the last day I will be staying with you.” Shockwave announced, as soon as she was gone “I simply wish to ensure your safety. I will leave tomorrow morning. Until then I will not leave your side. I have set up an energon stream for you. No one will know, and it should last you until you are able to get back on your pedes.”

Blurr raised an optic ridge, confused “You hacked into the fuel line? How?”

“That is unimportant. I cannot leave my mate and sparklings without first knowing they will be taken care of.”

Blurr was taken aback slightly “Thank you.” He said quietly.

The rest of the day was spent together. It was the last day the tiny broken family would have together, and they made what they could of it, which wasn’t much, but it was enough.

In the night Shockwave kissed his sparkling goodnight and returned to the berth room where Blurr was waiting.

The room was dim, the space being lit mostly by the city behind the half lidded blinds. Blurr sat propped up on one hand, displaying his frame sensually as he smirked and gestured for Shockwave to come closer. Shockwave approached the berth quickly. He set a knee on it as he drew Blurr into a deep and passionate kiss “I don’t believe you’re fit to interface in your current state,” Shockwave protested making no real effort to stop what they were doing. His claws consumed Blurr’s petite waist as the blue racer was eased back into the berth “I don’t care what state I’m in,” Blurr panted as claws tickled his valve “I want you, I want you inside of me one last time.” He gasped as claws made contact with stiff desperate lips.

The interface was the most passionate moment the pair had ever shared. It was slow, filled with sweet nothings whispered in tired audio receptors, and beautiful moans that only made Shockwave want his partner even more. As the two approached the end, the sweet release of overload, Blurr’s high pitched gasps grew and grew until Shockwave’s name snuck itself in. Shockwave grunted softly, and, as he finally released, allowed words to slip out that Blurr never thought he’d hear “I love you,” Breathed the larger as he released into the bot below him.

Blurr wrapped his arms around Shockwave’s neck, keeping him there. He wanted his partner to stay there, just the way they were. He wanted to feel the large spike within him and hear the sweet phrases Shockwave whispered into his audio receptors. He wanted the feeling of completeness within his spark to remain, he wanted to raise sparklings who knew their Sire, and he wanted to forget what Shockwave was, and what he’d done.

A few tears slipped from Blurr’s optics “I wish it was different.” He whispered blindly “Why did it have to be you? Why did I have to fall in with you?” he whispered.

Shockwave graced his mates waist once more with light claws before he sat up “Lets not think of such things now,” he whispered “Allow me to pleasure you for now, you needn’t worry about anything more than what we have right at this moment.”

So that is what Blurr did. He needed no convincing.

Shockwave pleasured his mate until Blurr fell into recharge. Shockwave fell in as well, soon after they ended. He wrapped a protective arm around his mate, savoring very remaining moment they had.

 

* * *

 

 

Deep into the night Shockwave laid awake beside his slumbering mate, deep into a peaceful recharge halfway under the thin blanket. He looked at the stunning figure and thought about just how beautiful it was and how much he truly cared for the creature. It was a more every time he thought about it.

After a few moments he carefully slipped from the berth and made his way to the sparkling sleeping on the other side of the room.

Shockwave looked into the crib and saw the sleeping figure. The little mech looked so calm, so peaceful. Shockwave knew, though, that this little thing would bring a great burden upon his mate, even if Blurr acted as though it wouldn’t. It was another mouth to feed, another education to pay for, another creature he’d have to keep track of alone while working a job that took up most of his time. He’d need a sparkling sitter and other necessities. Shockwave would not be there to assist at all so the Carrier was left stressed and underfunded.

Although, all of that could be avoided if Shockwave were to take the child.

He had resources and other such “luxuries” the Decepticons were well funded and in need of another operative, even if he had to grow into it. Taking his sparkling would be taking part of a burden off both creator’s shoulders, although Shockwave’s less so, for he had very few at the moment.

The Decepticons were regrouping. They had a ship, a base, a plan to get Megatron out of prison and a plan to start the war again. They would win this time.

Shockwave carefully slipped his hand under the baby’s head and end and lifted it from the crib, cradling it close to him in one arm. “I am sorry my love,” he apologized to the recharging Carrier sprawled out elegantly on the berth. Shockwave ran a light claw against his mates peaceful face “I hope someday you may forgive me,” he whispered before changing form and silently sneaking away from the apartment with no intention of returning.

 

* * *

 

  

The next morning Blurr found himself alone, not uncommon but always slightly un-easing. Shockwave had already left long ago. He laid down for a while and was about to go into recharge when he thought it best to check on the baby. With a bit of effort the new Carrier lifted himself from the berth and wandered over to the crib. He peaked in and found it empty, jumping him awake and to full attention. He leaned over the small berth and looked in again, baffled at the missing sparkling. He looked under the crib and around the room before running to Lightwave’s room as she was just beginning to awake “Lightwave,” he started frantically “Did you take your brother out of the crib?”

The little girl shook her head “No,” she started tiredly confused “Why?”

Blurr didn’t answer. Instead he ran out into the living room and paused, realizing what had happened. As the realization came so did the anger and concern with it. He growled “Shockwave!” he screamed in rage then slamming a few fists into the wall “You stupid fragger!” he swore punching the wall again. Despite knowing the Decepticon was long gone Blurr screamed for Shockwave to bring the sparkling back. He yelled and smacked things off counters and flipped the coffee table in rage continuing to scream as if talking to the maniacal Decepticon until his vocalizer ran dry with his energy. He slipped to his knees, facing the wall and smacking a weak fist against it “Bring him back,” he cried quietly “Bring him back.”

Lightwave, who had been peaking in from the hallway, emerged from her hiding spot.

“Carrier,” she said in a small voice, coming up behind her distressed carrier “W-what happened? Why are you crying?”

Blurr regained himself. He took a deep breath, whipped his eyes and stood up, turning to his little sparkling “You’re, uh,” he didn’t know how to tell the little girl that her Sire had left and taken her brother with him. But he wanted to because he wanted Lightwave to grow up disliking her Sire as much as Blurr did now.

“You’re, uh-” he started again, taking a knee before the sparkling “You’re Sire left this morning.”

“He leaves every morning,” Lightwave pointed out “He’ll come back some time.”

Blurr shook his head “No Lightwave, he’s not coming back this time. He took your little brother with him, sweetspark, he’s not coming back this time.”

Lightwave looked confussed “No, he was here last night. H-he always comes back.” It was as though the little femme’s nightmare was suddenly coming true.

Blurr shook his head “I’m sorry honey, h-he’s not coming back this time.”

Tears welled in the little femme’s optics “You’re lying,” she accused, stepping back a bit “He always come back.”

“Lightwave-”

“He always comes back! Always! He’ll be back! And if he doesn’t come back then you must have done something wrong! This is all _you’re_ fault! What did you do!” she was nearly hysterical, backing away from her Carrier.

“Lightwave,” Blurr eased “Lightwave, please, calm down.”

“No! _You_ did this! I hate you!” screamed the little girl before running off and locking herself in her room.

Blurr sighed as he stood up. He didn’t go after her. She wasn’t going to be reasoned with right now, not in this state. She needed a little bit of time to cry on her own.

 

* * *

 

 

Late into the night Blurr sat in the kitchen. He couldn’t recharge so he sat in the dark and drank a cup of energon, trying to empty his thoughts and keep himself blank minded. Almost as soon has he achieved this a small sound interrupted his oblivion.

“Carrier,” the small voice came from the living room. Blurr looked to see Lightwave standing in the middle, her eyes facing the ground.

“Lightwave,” Blurr sighed, having believed she was already recharging. He put down his energon cube and turned in his seat to face her “What are you doing up so late?” he asked, putting out his arms as she approached and lifting her into his lap. Lightwave kept her optic down, fiddling with her fingers as tears threatened to fall “I-I can’t recharge,” she cried, releasing the tears and finally looking up at her Carrier. She turned onto her knees and wrapped her arms around her Carrier’s neck “I’m sorry,” she cried into his shoulder “I don’t hate you, I just want my Sire back,”

Blurr wrapped his arms around the distressed little creature and held her tight. He allowed her to get out all of her sorrows without interruption. This was all she needed right now. All she wanted was for both Creators to be there. What she had was her Carrier.

Blurr would have to make do with what he had. Make up for everything she’d be missing.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Blurr felt the need to get out of bed and feed his sparkling, only to remember that there was no more sparkling to feed. This was a bit of a problem because, despite no longer having a sparkling, his body continued to produce spare energon. He hoped his spark would realize the distance between him and the sparkling and eventually stop. For now, though, it could become an embarrassing problem.

Despite this tiny set back Blurr decided that he needed to inform Jazz of Shockwave’s leave. He had to lie again. He had to tell them that Shockwave did horrible things, that he forced early delivery and, to top it all off, to make it believable within this new Autobot society, he had to tell them that Shockwave had killed the sparkling directly after transfer. And he had to be convincing while telling it.

But he didn’t want to do any of these things.

Because Shockwave hadn’t been cruel. He wasn’t horrible to Blurr, he didn’t hurt his own sparkling, he wouldn’t even think of doing such a thing. Shockwave had been kind. He was cold, but gentle, and loving, and made sure that Blurr was comfortable during transfer, and let Blurr hold his hand while he screamed. All Shockwave ever did was care, but he did it in his own hidden way. He never threatened to hurt Blurr, he was never abusive, he never got overly angry, he was always careful with his sparklings, and with Blurr. He never forced Blurr to do anything, he never even yelled.

Blurr felt a strange pain pull at his spark. Guilt consumed his processor for not realizing what he had. He could never see past the Decepticon seal. No matter how much Shockwave loved him, no matter how much he cared for Shockwave, Blurr could never be with him, not peacefully anyways. It hurt, but Blurr had learned to live with hurt.

Early in the morning, the day after Shockwave left, Blurr collected his still sleeping sparkling and made his way to Metroplex, where he would be meeting Jazz.

Lightwave’s head rested on her Carrier’s shoulder as he carried her to the kitchen. It was too early for her. She remained unaware when Blurr sat her down and handed her a cup of energon. She sleepily sucked down the cup. When she was finished Blurr picked her back up and prepared to leave.

“Where are we going?” she asked drowsily, lifting her head from the shoulder plate only slightly.

“We’re just going to see Jazz, okay? “Explained Blurr quietly “Go back into recharge, alright, and when we get there I want you to play the quiet game alright?”

“Alright carrier,” Lightwave agreed, resting her head back on his shoulder. She yawned “I love you carrier.” She sighed, easing back into recharge, content in her carrier’s arms.

Blurr smiled slightly, his spark lightening for a bit as he observed the sleeping sparkling.

Just as Blurr would replace what she was missing, Lightwave would replace what Blurr was missing. Both had an empty place in their spark. They would make do with what they had, and what they had was each other, if nothing else.

 

* * *

 

  

When Blurr reached base he was immediately separated from Lightwave and called into questioning. He was sat down alone in a room for a megacycle until Sentinel finally entered, file in hand, scowl pasted on.

“Jazz informs me that you’ve kept in contact with Shockwave.” Said the superior in a low tone “That means you lied to me, Agent Blurr.” Sentinel leaned back slightly “I don’t know if that deserves anything less than immediate discharge and arrest.”

Blurr scowled but made an attempt not to “I’m sure you’ve been informed of my reason for withholding the information, sir. Jazz should have told you.”

“Jazz tells me a lot of thing, _agent,_ I don’t quite remember it all. I don’t believe I’m aware of your reason for withholding the information. All I know is that you’ll be going away for a long time…I think we’re done here.”

Before Sentinel could leave Blurr stopped him “You can’t arrest me without reporting to the council first.” He claimed, turning Sentinel around.

“If you’ve forgotten, Blurr, I’m the _Magnus, I_ make the decisions.”

“No, the council _and_ the Magnus make decision when in relation to treasonous behavior, and most other things for that matter. If it was just you it would be considered a dictatorship, but that’s what Decepticons do. And we’re not Decepticons, are we _Magnus?_ You’re _accusing_ me of treason, that’s what you _think_ I’ve done.”

“Now, that’s what you _have_ done. You harbored a fugitive for three years, Blurr, you enabled him to get back on his feet and keep out of Autobot servos, and then you lied about it to _me_ , you’re _Magnus_. You’re an accomplice, among other things.”

Blurr didn’t know what to say to that. He knew that nothing would convince Sentinel that what he was saying was true. When Sentinel had a thought or opinion, no matter how many times he’s proven wrong, in his own mind, he was always right.

“I am not an accomplice.” Blurr stated “Shockwave invaded my home and had me living in fear for these last few years. He didn’t stay longer than a few hours, and he made sure to keep me in line…through less than desirable means.”

Sentinel sat back down “Alright , agent Blurr, I’m listening. I don’t believe you, but I’m listening. I’ll tell you what agent, you try to convince me that you’re some “innocent victim” and if I’m convinced, I might consider being kind.” Said Sentinel, only half serious. He had already convinced himself that whatever Blurr could say would have no effect on what he already thought.

Blurr tried to figure out how to start. What could he possibly say that would convince this hardheaded mech that he was telling the truth?

“Three years,” he started quietly, keeping an eye on his hands as his fingers twiddled against the metal table “He came to me three years ago. I didn’t want him there, I tried to get away, but what was I supposed to do?” he looked up at Sentinel “Have you ever met Shockwave, Sir? Have you ever met him, face to face?”

Sentinel shook his head, still listening.

“I have…” Blurr trailed off “If you can imagine someone much, much, much bigger than Longarm, _that_ is Shockwave. He wanted to see his sparkling but I wouldn’t let him. He didn’t like that too much so he’d force me aside, or shove me out of the room. I fought him every night, but what was I supposed to do? Look at me, I’m not meant for fighting, I’m a runner…You don’t have sparklings do you?”

“No, agent Blurr, I do not.” Sentinel answered impatiently.

“Have you ever been bonded to anyone?”

“Yes,” Sentinel drawled out “You’re trying my patience, Blurr, what are you trying to get at?”

“Before Shockwave I’d never interfaced with anyone.” Blurr spit out “I did spark bonding with Longarm but we never went anywhere…lower.” Blurr paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to phrase his next statement “Keeping my contact with him secret wasn’t the only thing he forced me to hide.” Blurr’s voice became significantly lower with the words “He told me that if I didn’t lay on the berth and keep quiet, if I didn’t do everything he said and be a good bot he’d kill everyone I cared about, then he’d kill the sparkling, then he’d kill me, all while making me watch…” Blurr suddenly choked on the words and coolant slipped from his eyes. He made it look like a struggle to get the words out. After a moment he continued “He told me that if I didn’t behave while he used me he’d make the sparkling watch us--” Blurr could barely get the words out. Not because he recalled the memory, it was because he no longer wanted to lie about it “He told me he’d make her watch us interface, make sure she could see it in detail, make sure she could tell who was dominant.” Blurr growled the words as if suddenly becoming enraged with what had gone on “He claimed to dominate me, he said that he was my “master”, stupid fragger…I didn’t question it, because if I did it just hurt more…Have you ever interfaced with someone three times your size, sir?”

Sentinel just shook his head, his eyes had glued themselves to the table, still and unmoving.

Blurr shook his head “You don’t want to…I know you’ve never had sparklings, sir, but you have been bonded. Having a sparkling…carrying the sparkling—it’s one hundred times stronger than a normal bond. When you’re a Carrier it’s a part of you, it lives off of you, and when it’s transferred, if the Carrier chooses, it can continue to live off of you...It’s an amazing experience. When you first get to hold that little thing in your arms, after all the pain of transfer, it’s…unreal, and it feels—wonderful” He sighed, staring down at his arms as if they were holding the new creation. The small bit of smile that had peaked his lips suddenly disappeared “Shockwave killed our second sparkling.” He said, quieter than he had been “I had to watch…I don’t know why he didn’t just get it removed when he found out he’d sparked me again.” Blurr lowered his arms as if the sparkling he pretended was there suddenly disappeared. His arms fell to his lap “I suppose it was just to be cruel.” Blurr’s body slumped as he told the story “He’s very good at that.” After a moment Blurr look up to his superior “I’m not an “innocent victim”” started the blue bot “I withheld what he’d done because I was ashamed, and scared, and clueless. I never actually knew where he was. He just came and went a few nights a week. He didn’t say anything other than threats, and he treated his sparkling like he cared. He brought he gifts and pat her head, and acted like a Sire who was there, someone who cared. He kept me quiet with her. He used her against me…And she loved him,” Blurr looked up at Sentinel again “Do you know what it feels like to have your sparkling look up to a monster? For her to _love and adore_ the very thing that destroys you, that threatens everyday to destroy _her._ When they’re young you can feel everything they do. When you have a sparkling,” Blurr was lost for words. Trying to tell someone what it felt like to have a sparkling was near impossible. His mouth hung open, lost for words “You’d do _anything_ for them,” He breathed, “Even if it meant _destroying_ yourself.” Blurr drooped again “So fine, accuse me of treason, or being an accomplice, at least _I’ll_ know what I am.” For a moment, as he poked his chest in declaration, he looked proud. It was a split second before he slumped back slightly again “I’m just a Carrier.” He said quietly. A moment after the speech ended Blurr sat up straight and looked to his superior but said nothing.

Sentinel didn’t want to admit it, but he felt bad or the bot, almost guilty, but not quite. He stood up, gathered his files, and headed towards the door “You’ll be moved into a different interrogation room later. We’ll need to get everything you know on Shockwave and his possible whereabouts, as well as your experience so that we can create a formal report…All charges against you--” Sentinel didn’t want to say it, but now he felt as though he had no choice “Will be dropped,” he turned fully to Blurr “But if your sparkling gives us a different story,” he started “You’re done.”

Before Blurr could react Sentinel was out the door. The Magnus made his way to a separate interrogation room where they had taken Lightwave. He reached the door just as Jazz was stepping out “So what did the little thing say?” asked Sentinel.

“I thought we were switching.” Said Jazz, pointing between them “Before we exchange notes. See if the answers line up.”

“I don’t know if there’s any need for that, soldier, I think we can all tell when Blurr is lying.”

Jazz was taken aback by the statement “Apparently we can’t all, Sentinel, unless Blurr told you that his life was all sunshine and butterflies when he was being stalked by Shockwave.”

“I can pick up a lie without having to talk to this sparkling. How would this affect anything?” Sentinel wouldn’t admit it, but he did believe Blurr, and he did feel bad, but that was something no one would ever know.

“She’s an outside source. She’s young too, which is good, it means she’ll tell you important things without realizing they could affect something bigger. Kids can actually be a useful tool while telling if someone is being honest or not.” He smiled again “Come on, sir, interview the kid. She’s quite the character.”

Sentenel sighed, exasperated “Fine, I’ll—deal with the kid.” Sentinel hesitantly stepped past Jazz, entering the room with Lightwave in it. He didn’t particularly like kids, and never could fathom why anyone would want to have one on purpose.

When he got in the first thing he saw was Lightwave making funny faces in the double sided mirror. As soon as she saw the man enter the room she scurried back to her seat, but before sitting stood beside the chair and saluted her Magnus “Hi Mr. Sentinel Magnus sir.” She greeted happily, then waiting for her superior to sit down before she did.

Sentinel was thrown off by the amount of respect this child showed. Lightwave sat on her knees so that she could see her interrogator. Sentinel was the nicest he could be “You seem like a good little sparkling,” he started “Have you been enrolled into Elite Guard academy yet, young lady?”

“No sir but I really want to be!” she cried “My Carrier told me I couldn’t go to school any more, but he wouldn’t tell me why. I haven’t told him I want to be an Elite Guardsman like him yet, though, I don’t think he’d like that too much. Carrier always says being a Guard is dangerous and he doesn’t want me to be one like he was.” She fell back slightly “So considering how sad he’s been recently I don’t think I should ask him.”

Sentinel had to absorb for a moment “Well…that was quite a mouthful.” He started “What exactly has your Carrier been sad about?”

“My Sire left yesterday. Carrier says he left forever and that he took my baby brother because he’s a huge jerk who does nothing but hurt Carrier.” She pouted, crossing her arms on the table.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about Light-uh, something. I’m going to ask you a few questions now.”

“Okay, Mr. Sentinel Magnus sir.” She saluted again, sitting up straighter.

“Now, uh, kid, has your Sire ever hurt your Carrier?”

Lightwave had to think for a moment “I haven’t seen Sire hit Carrier. But almost every morning after a night Sire was at our house Carrier sat crying on the berth. He thought I never noticed but I did. Sire was never really nice when we were all together, he was always talking down to Carrier. And I know what that means because Sire taught me. When we were all together in the morning, if it ever happened, Carrier would usually go off alone. Oh, and I know he was always kind of sad looking, or in pain looking a night after Sire was here.” She thought for another moment, trying to recall all the information she could “Oh! And after a night where there’s a bunch of grunting and swearing and moaning coming from their room, Carrier look especially hurt, and tired, and sad. He just always looks sad…” Lightwave trailed off.

Sentinel moved to the next question “Now, what can you tell me about your Sire?”

“My Sire has no face.” She answered immediately “And he’s _huge!”_ she cried, spreading her arms out “And he has eyes and fingers and colors that match me. Oh, and I can do this.” Lightwave switched her color from Purple to gray, then back to purple “Sire says I might have more colors but they haven’t happened yet. He never yells, and he always changes whenever he leaves the house, and Carrier doesn’t like having him around. All they do is fight. My Sire is a meanie, though. I used to like him, he used to be nice, then he left Carrier and me alone forever.” Lightwave had to think “I don’t—know any more about him.” She ended it there, smiling at her Magnus and hoping she’d done everything correctly.

Sentinel stood “Well, kid, I hope you make it to the academy.” He said, then leaving her by herself to make funny faces in the mirror. As soon as he was gone her first priority was to do the same thing she’d done when Jazz left, and put an Audio receptor to the door.

Her Sire and Carrier, one having been a spy and the other an intel bot, had accidentally taught her a few things in her four short years. A lot of it came with the processor, without the subconscious lessons she’d been picking up from her creators. The little femme just felt the need to gather information. She was sneaky by spark and curious by nature. She kept her ear to every door and knew more about what her Carrier and Sire were doing than she let on. She shared everything she knew about her Carrier and Sire but had no idea what the information meant. It was just there. It didn’t play a significant role to her, it was all just simple observations that she was unable to comprehend the gravity of.

What she could figure out, however, was what to share, and what to keep. While she did give everything she knew to Sentinel she bent it only slightly. True, Carrier isolated himself whenever they were together, and often wept when he thought he was alone, but she could tell, even when they’d fight or argue, or Sire would make Carrier cry, that they loved each other. While things in the sparklings mind had changed already since her Sire’s abandonment, something in her still missed him, and that little something could tell that Carrier missed him too.

 

* * *

 

  

After Blurr was moved and gave his report upon Shockwave’s actions he was reunited with his sparkling. Despite having been separated for only a few hours Blurr took hold of the little girl and hugged her as if he hadn’t seen her in ages.

Jazz offered to walk the two back to Blurr’s apartment, but Blurr politely declined, saying it would be faster if they just went themselves. Before they could leave Jazz offered another proposal “Why don’t you enroll her into the Elite Guard academy while you’re here.” He offered “I can get it all set up for you.”

Blurr half frowned, not wanting to decline but also unwilling to accept “No that’s—fine, Jazz, I’ll do it some other day. Thanks anyway.” Blurr turned to leave but was stopped when his sparkling pulled on his arm “No, no, Carrier, I want to go.” She begged “Come on, we can do it now.”

“I don’t know if that’s where you’re going, Lightwave, we’re not doing anything now.”

“Oh, please please please please please!” she pleaded, hopping up and down with the tug of her Carrier’s arm “Please, I really want to, I want to be like you, look, I’m already half way there, see see see.” She ran back and forth from one end of the hallway to the other as fast as she could, which was almost as fast as her Carrier. Before she could make a third round Blurr took her by the shoulder “I can see that Lightwave,” He assured “And maybe I’ll enroll you someday, just not today, alright, now stop asking. We’ll talk about it when you’re older.”

“Older!?” the little girl cried “But--”

“No buts.” Blurr demanded “Now come one, we’re going home,” he took her by the hand and lead her to the door “Carrier needs a nap.” He mumbled at the end, then saying his thanks and goodbyes to Jazz.

On the run home Lightwave lagged behind, forcing Blurr to slow down into an eventual walk. Lightwave’s legs dragged as she suddenly became fatigued. Blurr held her hand as they walked, but found himself having to lift her up every few minutes. Eventually he picked her up and finished the journey home with her head resting on his shoulder. By the time they returned to the apartment she was in full recharge, apparently exhausted by the days events.

Blurr didn’t particularly appreciate the Elite Guard taking her away for interrogation. He thought it was stupid and unnecessary. That, however, was not the only reason he was unsatisfied. He also feared that the lie he’d weaved so carefully with fake frowns and tears, would be torn apart by the words of his little girl. He didn’t know what the child saw when she looked at Carrier and Sire. He didn’t know if she comprehended when her Creators were sad or satisfied, because they never really made it to happy. Just satisfied. Blurr hoped she voiced her Carrier’s sorrows, that would definitely be misinterpreted as a victim crying in sorrow.

In reality it was a Carrier crying for their sparklings Sire. It was a once great bot crying in shame of what he’d let happen. It was a Carrier, who was never supposed to be a Carrier, crying over the new sparkling growing in it’s chest. It was a lot of things, but it was never because Shockwave had threatened him, or hurt him on purpose, it was because the life he lived was not ideal, and he didn’t want it, but at the same time, he wished he could have it, and let it be normal.

Blurr didn’t like acting or feeling small, or ashamed, or weak. So he did it alone. No one but his sparkling has ever seen real tears. Everything else was forced, to keep up the lie.

Blurr let out a small sigh as he laid his Sparkling on the berth. He tucked her in then left her alone, retiring to his own room for a nap.

Later into the night he awoke and retrieved Lightwave, still half asleep as he lifted her from the berth and delivered her to the table for dinner.

“Carrier,” Lightwave grumbled into her Carrier’s shoulder “Will you be alright without Sire?” she asked quietly.

Blurr was surprised by the question. He stopped in the middle of the dark living room, lit only by the blind covered window “Of course sweetspark, we’ll be fine.” He answered quietly, not entirely believing himself.

“Will you be fine?”

Blurr was at a loss for words. There was nothing he could say to that. Mostly because he didn’t know. He should be fine without Shockwave. After all he was a Decepticon, a criminal, murdered, fugitive, amongst other things. Blurr should be fine without Shockwave. He _should_ be, that doesn’t mean he _will_ be. So he answered honestly “I don’t know.” He said quietly, still frozen in the middle of the room.

Lightwave snuggled up to her Carrier’s shoulder, hugging his neck even tighter and off-lining her Optics “I miss Sire.” She sighed.

Blurr’s grip on the little girl tightened “I do too,” he whispered, letting coolant loosely slip from his closed optics

“I do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, how the kids grew up. It should be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How they were raised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long ass chapter.

 

“I’m not letting go until you say please,” said Blurr casually as Lightwave pulled with all her tiny might.

“No!” she screamed “Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!” she whaled, flinging herself away from her Carrier but finding herself unable to relinquish his grip. Blurr was putting very little effort into this but Lightwave was putting everything she had into getting away. Everything except one simple word.

The kid had to learn it somehow, and school didn’t always cut it. Blurr had his own methods. He wasn’t hurting the child if anything she was hurting herself. All she had to do was say please, one simple word and this would be over. Apparently it was just too hard to spit out, though, because Blurr had been holding the six year old for nearly an hour.

“Let me goooooo!” she screamed, almost as loud as she could go, sending a high pitched wale into the apartment building. Blurr took little mind to how many people she was disturbing.

“Come on, he coerced “Is that all you’ve got? You can scream louder than that.” He said bluntly, just egging her on until her vocalizer gave out and she only had one escape. It wasn’t as though the word was difficult, it was that _she_ was difficult. In only six years she’d come out just as intelligent and hard headed as her Sire, and Burr couldn’t say he didn’t hate it. In all honesty she had become annoying. She thought herself of a higher power because her mind processed complicated things as well as her Sire and as quickly as her Carrier. The thing was, though, she was still young, and she was still vulnerable, and she still needed to bend to the rules that her Carrier gave her. That was a lesson Blurr was teaching now.

Before she blew out her vocalizer Jazz came for a visit. He had unlimited access to Blurr’s apartment in the event of an emergency, which included anything from Lightwave going Missing to Blurr having an emotional breakdown. Jazz has had to visit on many occasions in the two years since Shockwave stole Blue.

Blurr was well aware of his emotional instability but more often than not managed to keep a cool head when it came to his child, only ever breaking down on her once when she was continually talking about missing her Sire. Blurr had asked many times for her to stop talking about, but she refused and went on a tiny rampage through the apartment, fueled by her Carrier’s breakdown. Jazz was called over immediately after Blurr locked himself in his room and broke almost everything in it.

On this occasion Jazz entered covering his audio receptors. As soon as Lightwave was done screaming he removed his servos from the side of his head and looked at the broken family with confused optics “What is going on in here?” he asked, looking between Blurr and the sparkling, who lay face down on the floor, her arm being held up by the Carrier who refused to relent.

“I’m teaching her how to say ‘Please’” answered Blurr simply. Lightwave lifted her head with a scowl “And it’s not fair!” she cried “Come help me!” she demanded.

Jazz smirked “Not unless you say please,” he said.

The look of shock and horror on the sparkling’s face was almost comical. She looked between her Carrier and Jazz “You’re all out to get me!” she cried, sitting up and repositioning herself to sit against the couch with a dissatisfied ‘humph.’

Jazz came to sit next to Blurr “You know when I got here I thought something bad was happening on the other side of this door. Apparently not, though. So why’d you call me in, brother?”

Blurr looked to Lightwave, still stationed stubbornly on the floor “I’m concerned,” he started quietly, looking back to Jazz “Look at her. I mean, I know she knew him for a while, but…Do you think she can turn out like him? Even if they didn’t spend a lot of time together?”

Jazz’s face twisted in thought at the question “I couldn’t tell you,” He said after considering it “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” he smiled “But hey, in that time, just think, she’ll be surrounded by you, and me, and Rodimus and everyone else. Some of the best Autobot influences a little femme like her can have. If she does turn out to be like her Sire, I’m sure it will just be in brains.” As soon as he was finished another bot came through the door.

Lightwave’s sunk back into the couch at the sight of him and looked up at her Carrier “Why is _he_ here?” she asked. Blurr leaned down to her, “Rodimus is allowed here whenever he likes, sweetspark, don’t be rude.”

Lightwave’s scowl deepened “May I _please_ go to my room?” she asked, the slightest bit of attitude in her voice. Blurr was a little surprised, but he released the arm and watched as she scurried off, passing Rodimus on the way “Hey-” he tried to greet her but was promptly ignored and shot a deep scowl when she reached the door.

Rodimus shrugged it off and sat next to Blurr, putting an arm around the blue bot and greeting him with a kiss on the cheek “You’ll say hi to me right?” he asked with a crooked smirk, pulling the tiniest smile from Blurr. Rodimus looked to the door way “You know, I’m surprised she doesn’t like me. She liked me before, why not now?”

Blurr leaned back “Because you’re not her Sire.” He said quietly.

Rodimus half scowled. He slumped back in the seat and crossed his arms “I don’t see why she still has such an attachment to that fragger, after he left you,” he sat up quickly “And hurt you! Isn’t the Carrier’s bond stronger than the Sire’s bond with the kid, I mean, come on, after all he’s done to you? Lightwave should hate that guy.”

“Lightwave doesn’t know what he did to me.” said Blurr quietly, silencing the group. He sat up and looked between the bots sitting beside him, both of whom were wearing somewhat shocked expressions. Blurr’s lips twisted in a combination of disgust and confusion “What? You think I’d let her know what was going on? I interfaced with that monster and pretended I liked it so that she _wouldn’t,_ and couldn’t even _guess_.” Blurr fell back “Shockwave feels no regret so his half was covered.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” said jazz, raising an optic ridge “But even a good act can’t change what your spark is feeling. How did you manage to avoid that?”

Blurr shrugged “We were bond mates, my spark looked at it as though our interactions were normal. I don’t understand spark science, how am I supposed to know?”

“Just curious.”

The trio sat in silence for a while with nothing between them. Jazz leaned forward “Hey, why don’t we go out tonight.” He suggested, slipping on a smile.

“Out?” asked Blurr “Like- what? All four of us? Somewhere?”

“Yeah, you know, grab some dinner or something. We don’t do that enough. It will give us a chance to just—hang out. Maybe warm Lightwave up to your new man.”

Blurr shrugged “I don’t have any money,” he admitted “Or at least none to spend on that.”

“No big deal, Rodimus and I will take care of it.”

Rodimus smiled broadly “Yeah!” he agreed eagerly. He grabbed Blurr around the waist and pulled him into a kiss “What kind of mech would I be if I couldn’t take you out to dinner?” He decorated Blurr’s lips with little pecks before going fully into it. He slipped a glossia into Blurr’s mouth and let their lips dance together. The fiery mech put one hand on Blurr’s cheek and the other on the back of his head.

Jazz rolled his optics “I’ll go get Lightwave,” He announced, well aware that the couple was ignoring him.

The Elite guardsman knocked before entering the little girl’s room

“Come in!” she called.

“Hey, baby girl, what are you doing? Other than avoiding Rodimus.”

Lightwave smirked. She enjoyed the presence of Jazz much more than that of the Prime’s. Jazz was nice, and spoke softly, and never treated her purely like a child. He stuck around a lot and took care of her and Blurr when they needed help, both emotionally and financially. Rodimus used to be the same way before he started hanging around and making out with Blurr every chance he got. It upset Lightwave. She didn’t like seeing her Carrier groped by greedy hands just looking for a panel to open. The sparkling hated it. She hated seeing her Carrier touched by a mech that wasn’t her Sire, she hated listening to her Carrier argue with someone who yelled back. She could not voice her dislike in words, however, because she did not know enough to describe them. The only thing she could do was get angry, draw attention to herself, and scowl at Rodimus.

Jazz came and sat beside the sparkling on the floor “What are you doing?” he asked again.

“Not trying to stir up an elaborate plan that would get rid of Rodimus forever if that’s what you were thinking.” She said bluntly, removing the pen from the data pad she’d been drawing on. Jazz couldn’t help but laugh a little. He looked over the little girls scheme and giggled at it’s surprisingly complex nature. Lightwave was smart, there was no doubt, but she remained unaware of many things.

Jazz pointed at the screen “You know, I think this one would be a lot less deadly if you eliminated the turbo foxes,” Jazz suggested, keeping the smirk on his face.

Lightwave slumped “That was a last resort.” She said, her tone depressed with something similar to disappointment. Lightwave shook her head vigorously, flying to a stand “Why does Carrier need someone new!?” she cried, pacing about the room. Jazz stood up with her and watched as he listened. Lightwave began ranting “I mean what we had was _fine_ and then Rodimus was being a big meanie, and kept not leaving Carrier alone, and he kept on pushing and then _this_ happened. And now they’re probably making out on the couch like a gross couple, and Rodimus has his hands all over Carrier and I _Hate it. **I hate it I hate it I hate it!!”**_ The little girl screeched, throwing her arms all around and using all of her might to stomp her foot.

Jazz kneeled before the aching sparkling “Whoa whoa, calm down there little miss, no need to bring your Carrier in here.” He advised, putting his hands out as a signal to stop and hold up “I know you’re upset, Lightwave, I do…To be honest I’m starting to feel the same way,” the comment was more to himself but Lightwave heard it. Jazz looked back to the sparkling “But look, Lightwave, think about this, how long has it been since your Carrier could really be happy?”

“I don’t know,” Lightwave grumbled, keeping her eyes off of Jazz and putting on a pout hidden behind crossed arms “He wasn’t very happy a while ago…I remember.” Lightwave remembered having to Call Jazz when Blurr locked himself away and destroyed near everything he’d had in his room. Anything that was breakable was broken.

Everything except the crib.

Jazz nodded “A while ago, I know. But look at him now. He’s got Rodimus, he’s got me. With us—with Rodimus, he feels safe. He feels protected—he feels loved,” Jazz felt strange spitting out these words, considering he was still unsure of what the couple’s relationship was based on. For Blurr it was because of persistence and safety, for Rodimus it could be a whole number of things, including having good lithe bot to frag when they got around to it.

But Jazz decided not to think about it that way for now. He continued, “Rodimus cares for your Carrier very much, he’d never let anything happen to him or you. That’s why he’s here, sweetspark, not to annoy you, but to make your Carrier happy. It’s good for Carrier to be happy, you dig?”

Lightwave didn’t want to admit it. Her pout loosened in defeat and she took a glance at Jazz. “You’re right,” she admitted, letting her arms loose to her sides. Only a second later she stiffened, throwing an almost confused and desperate look to Jazz “But why can’t he be that way with _you?”_ she demanded, liking that alternative much better than her current situation.

Jazz smiled at the question, letting out an entertained laugh “Oh no, me and your Carrier, we don’t get along that way.” He stood up “But hey, it’s not so bad. Rodimus is a lot nicer mech than you think. You’ll warm up to him.” He put out his hand for her to take “Now come on, little miss, we’re going out for dinner.”

“All of us?” asked the sparkling, taking hold of Jazz’s fingers and following him out the door.

“Yes ma’am, all four of us.”

“Okay, well I’ll go if I don’t have to sit near Rodimus.”

Jazz hummed out a stiff laugh “Alright, why don’t you just stick with Carrier then.”

“How can I? Those two are basically attached to each other.” Lightwave mumbled. Jazz heard it but made no comment.

They met back with the couple, who had, by then, finished their passionate session and were ready to leave.

Blurr never liked going out. He never saw any reason for it when he was already paying for his energon rations. Purple was enough, any other color was unnecessary and too expensive for his taste. Why he’d agreed to go out was a mystery to himself. They chose a nice restaurant and were seated instantly. There weren’t too many people in the building, but those who were shared a series of wealthy characteristics. They all had freshly waxed frames with little detailing and smooth chassis that had never seen a battle. They were spoiled, and they laughed like it, sharing stories of what a lower class had done at some point that somehow ground their gears. Most of the mechs in the dimly lit setting kept their eyes on their dinner partner’s, or group, while others eye’s wandered to stare at Blurr and his posse. Blurr didn’t like it. He squeezed his sparkling’s hand and ignored the faint whispers of people wondering if that blue bot over there was “the bot who got knocked up by a Decepticon” which was what Blurr was known for now. Blurr didn’t go out often for that very reason.

The four were seated at a table all the way in the corner of the room. The server gave Blurr a bit of a strange look before wandering away.

Blurr didn’t like this kind of setting. It felt too crowded, too, in a sense, normal. He particularly disliked being surrounded by mechs and femmes who were much richer and in much better condition than him. He felt like people were staring, and judging and wondering why someone like him had wondered onto their turf. While a long time ago Blurr had been wealthy that was irrelevant now, and he’d never really spent much time in restaurants, mostly just bars. He also didn’t like the idea of being served. Blurr often had to rely on himself, and so having someone supply something as simple as energon for him made him feel out of place and uncomfortable. He also wasn’t utterly comfortable speaking to a stranger, who no doubt would find his quick speech a tedious thing to decipher.

Blurr placed himself facing the door and set Lightwave down beside him. Jazz seated himself beside Rodimus who was across from Blurr. Blurr didn’t bother to look at the menu. He knew the cheapest thing he could get were purple energon chips, and therefore decided on that.

“Pick something else,” Rodimus demanded, knowing what Blurr was getting at.

“What?” asked Blurr, thrown off by the statement.

“I said pick something else,” Rodimus slid a menu across the table “You’re not getting the cheapest thing on the menu. Get whatever you want.”

“What if that’s what I want?” Blurr challenged.

“Then get whatever you hate.” Rodimus smiled at his partner, believing he’s won this battle. Blurr didn’t say anything but still refused to pick up a menu. Rodimus frowned “Blurr,” he started, getting a bit more serious “You need to eat something here. When’s the last time you had a good meal?”

Blurr had to think of a quick lie “Last night,” he lied, crossing his arms with a small scowl, annoyed that Rodimus would question him like this “I drank an entire energon cube and finished off the last bit of Lightwave’s when she fell asleep on the table.”

Lightwave perked up, believing her Carrier was remembering the events backwards, “No Carrier, I-”

“One moment sweetspark the adults are speaking,” he said quickly, unaware that Lightwave may try to correct him.

“Ah ha!” Rodimus pro-claimed “You lied, I knew you haven’t been eating while we’re not around. I was just talking to Jazz the other day, we thought you were looking skinny.”

“I’ve always been skinny.”

“Alright skinnier.”

Jazz put hand on the Prime’s chest and took his turn “What we’re saying, Blurr, is that we’re giving you this opportunity to _eat_ real energon, fuel up, get your strength back. We are both well aware of how much recharge you get and how much you sacrifice for her,” he gestured Lightwave “We’re here to help. You know that. Don’t sell us your burden scrap, doing this is our choice.”

Blurr’s eyes dimed in thought. His body relaxed “I’m sorry,” he apologized, picking the menu back up “I’ll—I’ll pick something else.”

After a few minutes of reading, the high pitched cry of a sparkling rang through the restaurant. Most of the patrons ignored the relentless cries of the spoiled sparkling. The Creators did nothing to silence their child, instead they continued talking over the noise and rocking the sparkling as if that would help anything.

Blurr and the rest ignored it at first. Lightwave covered her audio receptors. The other two did the same. Blurr shook his head “Sometimes I wish people could control their sparklings,” he proclaimed quietly over the noise, keeping his optics glued to the menu but not reading anything. After about a half hour the crying ceased and the restaurant was silent again.

Rodimus looked around the room “Where’s our waiter? We’ve been here for ages.”

Everyone simply shrugged, well aware of why they weren’t being served. Rodimus looked around, turning all the way in his seat. He watched as a horde of servers huddled together, whispering about something and taking the occasional peak towards their table. Eventually they seemed to decide something, and shoved one of their colleagues towards the group.

Rodimus half anticipated what was about to occur and he wasn’t happy about it in the slightest.

The waiter made his way over, the slightest bit of fear hidden in his optics as he kept on an otherwise stoic face. He leaned down to the table and said fairly quietly, to keep with the setting, “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to ask you to leave,” the tone was apologetic but fake.

Rodimus scowled “And why is that?” he asked before anyone could say anything.

The server faltered a bit at the question “You’re disturbing the other customers. We’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Disturbing--!”

Jazz put hand on Rodimus’s chest, calming him.

“It’s cool, brother,” he said calmly to everyone “We’ll bounce, no need to make a scene.” Jazz stood up, urging his colleagues to follow. Blurr stood without question and took Lightwave by the hand. The little girl was confused “Carrier?” she asked “Why are we leaving?”

“They don’t want us here sweetspark,” Blurr answered bluntly, a somber tone slipping in “We have to go,”

“Why do we always have to leave places Carrier?”

Blurr took the little girl by the arms and lifted her up to get out of there faster. “No reason,” Blurr answered, as she leaned her head on his shoulder. Rodimus put an arm on Blurr’s lower back, originally making an effort to wrap it around his waist before Lightwave impeded his progress.

They left without objection and returned to Blurr’s apartment. Blurr put Lightwave to bed while Jazz made himself comfortable on the couch and Rodimus came to sleep with Blurr.

Blurr slipped out of Rodimus’s grip in the middle of the night and snuck into Lightwave’s room to watch her recharge. It was the only peace the little girl seemed to have these days.

Everything that Blurr wanted to prevent was already happening. The ridicule, the judgement, hatred and fear people displayed around the little femme was ridiculous, and Blurr was foolish enough to think he could avoid it. The fact was he couldn’t change other people, he could only change her. So he would. The only way he could allow her to grow up and be confident is to teach her to be confident. He had to let her hate Rodimus, and let her go into the Elite Guard.

The Elite Guard.

That was the only place where she may gain any respect. She wasn’t a Decepticon like everyone thought, and enrolling her into the academy could change all of that. No more people kicking her out of places because she came from a Decepticon, no more ridicule, or judgment, or pure hatred driven by prejudice. She would be serving her state, fighting for the Autobot cause she is so devoted to. No one could question her loyalty then, no one could hate her for being a Decepticon.

In reality no one _should._

But they probably still would. Which was exactly why Blurr hasn’t enrolled her into the academy. Blurr could raise her to be the most obedient, wonderful Sparkling on all of Cybertron, he could teach her to be more loyal than she already was, if it were even possible, she could be the most respectful, well trained agent there ever was.

But bots would still only see her for the Sire she came from.

Blurr kept a close optic on his sparkling. The tiny sparkle of her spark still shone through her dark chest plate in the pitch black. She would grow out of that eventually, but it felt nice to be able to see that his sparkling’s light was still there, supporting her.

When Lightwave was transferred her spark had been weak due to the trauma it went through. Her protoform took a concerning amount of time to develop fully, and her little spark beat so slowly and felt so cool Blurr was afraid, yet still hoping, she would die. She was kept in an incubator for the first Lunar cycle, attached to wires and feeding tubes. Blurr only saw her through glass. She was small, and cracked. Her paint was pale, and her processor heeded little life. But the spark didn’t go out, her colors eventually filled in, and the first time Blurr held the little thing in his arms he loved her. He looked at her bright red optics, and felt her tiny weak hand wrap around his servo, and he loved her. He loved her more than anything his spark could bear. She was tiny, and she was weak, but she was his. He held her everyday, never wanting to let her go, and fed her with his energon. She slept in his arms and kept her head against his chest. Blurr could not love her more.

When her Sire arrived a year after she was born Blurr fought him with all of his might. He didn’t want the monster to touch his precious sparkling, he didn’t even want him to _look_ at her. Shockwave was too large, though, and too powerful, and forced his way through the small Carrier, who eventually resorted to begging. Shockwave waited until Blurr stopped fighting him to explain his reasons for being there. He leaned down to his former lover, huddled in the corner of their babies room, watching. The Decepticon spoke softly and explained he would bring no harm to either party, just allow him to stay and see her. The small interactions between Blurr and Shockwave eventually grew into a kiss, which Blurr had truthfully been longing for, and kisses turned into touches, and so on and so forth until the two began interfacing.

Blurr couldn’t quite remember how it had gotten that far, but he couldn’t say he didn’t miss it.

 

* * *

 

  

“Again.” Demanded the large Sire, watching his four year old sparkling swiftly stick a sword in a loosely fashioned dumby “Again!?” cried Blue, his voice still high with youth “I’ve done it six times Sire!” he whined, throwing his small sword down “I don’t want to.”

Shockwave sighed “You are too much like your Carrier,” he mumbled agitatedly “Do I need to put you down for a nap?” he threatened, pulling another, smaller whine out of the sparkling.

“I’m not tired!” Blue argued, taking a step back and crossing his arms

Shockwave leaned down “Oh, but you must be. You are arguing with me. So if you’re not tired-” he flicked his little sparkling lightly in the center of his face “Then do it again, quicker this time, and don’t mess up.” He handed the small bot his sword and watched as the little teal bot went over his routine three more times before his optics began to droop and he began clinging to his Sire’s leg in fatigue “Can we be done now?” he asked in a small tired voice, right before his Sire scooped him up and cradled the still small creature in his arms “We are finished” he announced, returning to their room and laying Blue down for a nap.

Shockwave would have been harder on the child, but this was his sparkling. Better yet, this was _Blurr’s_ sparkling, and while they’re not in touch, Shockwave did steal it, and he was unwilling to break it entirely.

Later in the evening Blue awoke and joined his sire for a cup of energon. He didn’t want to finish it, but Shockwave wouldn’t have it “Finish your cup.” He demanded bluntly as Blue leaned back in his seat, fidgeting “I’m not hungry.” He claimed. Shockwave pushed on “Finish it, Blue, or you will go to bed immediately after this.”

“But I don’t want to!” he cried

“And you will do fifteen sets tomorrow. This is your choice, choose wisely. If you leave this table without finishing I’m putting you to bed.”

“But-!”

“Choose. Wisely.”

Blue let out a loud whine and fidgeted around further, begging his Sire to let him leave the table.

“You can leave,” started Shockwave “You will just get punished for it.”

Blue continued to cry “But I don’t want to do any of those things,” he whined quietly.

“Then don’t leave the table.”

After a moment with more tearful whining Blue shouted “You’re mean!” to which Shockwave could only reply “I am fair.” And Blue had no argument.

Blue ended up finishing his cup of energon and immediately leaving the table afterward. As a small reward for following his Sire’s instructions Shockwave, later into the night, read Blue an old report from the war, adding in a few details so that is seemed more like a story. Blue quite enjoyed these reports, and he was especially fond of his Sire sitting in the bed and allowing him to read along in Shockwave’s lap. Shockwave did not do that tonight due to his sparkling’s tantrum earlier.

Shockwave read until Blue was asleep. He turned out the light and got up to leave “Sire,” Blue’s small voice broke the darkness before Shockwave reached the door. His large red Optic illuminated the bed as he turned to look at the sparkling “What is it sweetspark?” replied the Decepticon in a low tone.

“Tell me about my Carrier again.” Blue requested in a small voice “I want to see him again, before I go to sleep.”

After a moment Shockwave came back and sat beside the berth “Have you not heard enough?” he asked quietly, wanting to avoid this, but well aware that he could not.

“I haven’t,” Blue replied rolling over “I’ll never hear enough until I see him.”

“But my dear, you can never see him. He’s dead, remember.”

“I know…That’s why you have to keep telling me about him.”

Something in Shockwave’s spark sank. He did not want to talk about Blurr. He didn’t want to imagine Blurr, or miss Blurr, or long for Blurr, but he did. And he did it so often.

“Your Carrier was beautiful,” he started quietly “He was blue, and he was fast, and he was loving…He loved you very much.”

“Did he love you?”

“…I suppose he must have.”

“Because you created me?”

“…Yes…Because we created you.”

“And Carrier took care of me. He carried me in his chest, right, and-”

“Are you telling it or am I?”

“You.”

“Yes. Your Carrier loved you quite a bit. He cared for you when he could, and your first meal came from his breast plate. He would have never let you go if it were possible.”

“…Did you love him?”

“I loved him-” he stopped short, unsure of how to continue. Trying to describe his love for Blurr had always been difficult. It was there but he ignored it, having never really, before Blurr, had a feeling so strong. His spark was constantly pulling at his chest trying to be met by it’s mate’s, despite being thousands of miles away from each other. They were supposed to be enemies “I loved him,” Shockwave started again “I loved the way he spoke. Your Carrier was distinguished, and he was smart. His colors were beautiful in the light, and just as beautiful in the dark…He had a kind of spark…and his smile could light up a dark world,” Shockwave spoke with little emotion, but his optic dimmed with every word. He’d recited this almost a dozen times, and each time it got harder, “And he was cocky,” he started again, “but he was justified. He was so fast he could run across a galaxy in a fair amount of time.”

“And he talked real fast too,” completed Blue, having heard this speech before.

“Yes,” Shockwave confirmed “He spoke very fast, and I heard every word.”

“Everyone else was too small minded to listen,” Blue added quietly.

“Yes,” Shockwave sighed soundlessly, trying not to think back to his days with Blurr, but failing “That is exactly right”

Blue snuggled under the blanket and let out a small sigh “I want my Carrier.” he mumbled. Shockwave put a large servo lightly over the small body “What have I told you about voicing such fantasies?”

“Don’t do it.”

“Exactly” Shockwave stood and made his way towards the door. He stopped in the opening and looked back at the slumbering sparkling “Goodnight my dear.” He whispered.

 

* * *

 

  

“I want to join the Elite Guard” said Lightwave, standing behind her Carrier as he put away the energon cups. He sighed “Lightwave, you know my answer already,” he started, not turning to look at the eight year old standing behind him “No.” he confirmed for the fourth time that month.

“But why not!?” Lightwave demanded, tired of her Carrier’s dodgy responses.

Blurr turned to his sparkling, who was now as tall as his chest plate and getting bigger with each passing day “Because, Lightwave, you’re not old enough and I won’t have you risking your life fighting Decepticons.”

“Well you do it!”

“I am an intelligence agent, not a soldier. My job is dangerous but my contact with Decepticons is minimal.”

“Oh come on!” pleaded the sparkling “Send me to the academy, _please!_ Let me serve my state! Let me learn the ropes and become as good as you!

Blurr sighed “Lightwave-”

“Please!”

Blurr hesitantly considered it. He knew she wasn’t going to let this go. She had been asking him for years and the answer had always been ‘No.’ Blurr didn’t want her to experience war. It was all over the place but he didn’t want her to be a part of it. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to do this. He didn’t want her to hate Decepticons. It was too late for that, though, and Lightwave, at only eight stellar cycles, was ready to serve under Sentinel’s command and shoot the head off any Decepticon who came too close. Blurr wasn’t ready to live with that reality, but he supposed it was time.

Blurr let out a half annoyed sigh of defeat “Fine.” He agreed.

Lightwave did a fist pump “Yes!” she cried in victory “You won’t regret it I promise! I’ll work hard, I swear, and-” she paused a moment, calming, and seeing the sad look of concern on her Carrier’s face “I’ll make you proud.” She said, then throwing herself at the Carrier and wrapping her arms tightly around him “Thank you,” she mumbled into his chest plate “For everything.”

After the shock subsided Blurr pulled one of his arms out of her grip and placed it around her back.

He let a small smile slip onto his lips as he absorbed the long hug. It didn’t last as long as he would have liked, but it lasted long enough for him to remember. Lightwave released first, hopping up and down and asking to go register right now.

“Lightwave, it’s closed.” Blurr almost laughed at her enthusiasm.

“Yeah, but, Rodimus is coming over isn’t he? And Probably Jazz too right? Just tell them I want to join, I’m half sure they can take care of it.”

Blurr smirked, raising an optic ridge “Alright, so, now that Rodimus is slightly useful you’re beginning to like him? Is that the way it’s going to be Lightwave?”

Lightwave shook her head “Of course not!” she cried “I still don’t like him! I just like how useful he is to me!”

Blurr was taken aback. Those were very familiar words from such a small child. While not exact, the mind set was there. Lightwave, just as Blurr had feared, was becoming more like her Sire than Carrier was comfortable with. Blurr ushered her off to her room, telling her to freshen up before bed. Lightwave complied without question, realizing that if she was enrolled in the Elite Guard academy she’d have to learn how to follow orders, and as of right now her Carrier was a superior officer.

She returned and joined her Carrier on the couch “Can we watch something before bed?” she asked, always looking forward to watching war documentaries. Blurr could only shrug “You’ve watched all of them.” He stated.

“Then download a new one!”

“Lightwave, don’t yell in my ear. Anyways, there are no more to download you’ve watched all sixty seven available, and you’re lucky you watched that many, I could have been forcing you to do processor exercises.”

Lightwave gestured the screen “Those _are_ processor exercises! I can recite every word of some of them I’ve seen a few of them at least three times.”

“At most.”

“What?”

“At most. You said at least, you’ve meant at most. I know you haven’t seen any of them over three times.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’re the one who enjoys gathering information I am just trying to teach you something.”

“Oh…” Lightwave trailed off with nothing else to say. All of a sudden she hoped up, asking her Carrier to download another war documentary “So come on! What are we waiting for?”

“Lightwave, I’ve already told you! You’ve watched all of them.”

“Carrier there are millions of years of war and you’re telling me there are only sixty seven documentary worth of war footage!”

“No, I’m telling you there are millions of years of war and sixty seven eight hour propagandic documentaries that go over almost everything.”

“…What’s propagandic mean?”

“It is a piece of information or material that includes components of propaganda. Propaganda is the use of false, or altered information to make one side look better than the other.”

“Oh…But Autobots don’t so that do they?”

“Everybody does that…The Decepticons less so, they want people to know all of the bad things they’ve done. Primus know why, though.”

Lightwave didn’t say anything for a while. She appeared as though she was about to start speaking again when the front door opened and Rodimus stepped in. Upon his arrival Lightwave hopped off the couch and scurried off to her room. Rodimus made no effort to greet her, well aware of how much she hated him. As the fiery red mech came to sit beside Blurr Lightwave returned. She gave the mech a disdainful salute before speaking “Rodimus Prime, sir, do you believe it’s possible for me to be enrolled in Autobot Elite Guard academy?”

“Of course,” Rodimus answered. He looked to Blurr “I’m surprised your Carrier is letting you,” he looked back to Lightwave “He _did_ say you could, right?” he looked between the two. Blurr gave him a small nod and a light smile. He knew that talking to Rodimus would do basically nothing to enroll Lightwave into the academy, but Blurr just let her do her thing.

“Yes,” Lightwave answered “My Carrier has given me permission to enroll in The Elite Guard Academy. It’s closed, though, and I want to get in immediately.”

Rodimus thought for a moment. He leaned down to the little femme “So you’re wondering if I’ll let you in right away.” He stated, sitting up straight “Because I’m dating your Carrier.” The hot rod gave Blurr a quick peck on the lips, basically just to annoy the young bot. Lightwave scowled in disgust and discomfort but said nothing.

“Yes,” she stated after a while “I was hoping that.” Her confidence faltered.

Rodimus leaned down again “Sorry kid, I can’t help you. I’m a trainer at the academy on my off days and I’m well aware of the rules.”

“Since when do you follow rules?” Lightwave threw her hands over her mouth as soon as the words slipped out “I-I’m sorry!” she cried, believing she’d just blown her chance to get in “I didn’t mean that!”

Rodimus shook his head, smirking at the little femme “Don’t worry Lightwave, no hard feelings. What I’m saying is there’s a specific set of rules that I have to follow in order to allow students into the academy. There’s a physical and mental test that need to be completed upon entry. If I were to bend the rules in that area I could be letting in an unfit operative.”

“Oh…” Lightwave lowered her head “I see.” She began to walk off, disappointed. Rodimus panicked, believing he’d just told the little girl she wasn’t good enough “But-” he started, gaining her attention “That doesn’t mean you won’t get in. I mean, if you’re anything like your Carrier entry should be a synch!”

Lightwave brightened slightly but not much “Thanks Rodimus Prime,” she said sullenly, heading back to the hall “I hope I do well.”

The couple watched the little girl walk away, waiting until she was gone before Blurr spoke “Well that’s weird, she was so excited earlier.” He looked to Rodimus “I think it’s you.” He concluded bluntly.

Rodimus was taken aback “Me?” he asked “Why me?”

“She doesn’t like you.”

“So?”

“She doesn’t think you like her much either, just so you’re aware, in fact she thinks you hate her.”

“I don’t hate her!”

“Well she doesn’t know that! What is she supposed to think, Rodimus, it’s not like you make an effort to spend time with her.”

Rodimus scowled “Hey, you know I’m busy!”

“ _You’re_ busy?!”

“Blurr-”

“ _You’re_ busy! Yeah, okay, because taking care of a sparkling while also continuing to work as an intelligence agent for the Elite Guard, and trying to educate her, doesn’t make _me_ busy!”

“Blurr! I didn’t mean-”

“I don’t care what you meant Rodimus! If you want to be in _my_ life, you need to be in hers, I don’t care how “Busy” you are sitting around waiting for a mission in your office. If I can make time you can make time, maybe, for once, you can help me out when I’m not available, or when Jazz isn’t available. I _know_ you’re not busy, Rodimus, don’t you _dare_ try to feed me that scrap!”

“Blurr! Calm down. Primus, you’re going to give yourself a spark attack one of these days.”

Blurr stiffened, then calmed, moving back into Rodimus’s embrace. No one made any effort to address the small argument. They sat together in comfortable silence for a while, with Blurr snuggling up to Rodimus’s chest and swatting away the fiery mech’s hand every time it pinched his aft.

“Come on,” said Rodimus quickly, taking a quick pinch at the blue bots aft, and pulling a sharp squeak from Blurr “Rodimus, stop,” Blurr insisted “You’ll give me a bruise.” It was a bad defense but it was the only one he had. Rodimus continued to advance, though. He wrapped a hand around Blurr’s waist, bringing him closer, into an array of soft pecks “Come on,” he whispered “Just for a little while,” he tried to coerce. A hand rested on Blurr’s thigh which Blurr quickly shied away from.

Rodimus was persistent, though. He slipped a hand between Blurr’s legs and kept the blue bot held closely against him.

“No, Rodimus.” Blurr insisted, feeling uncomfortable. Rodimus wouldn’t relent, though. He rubbed the inside of Blurr’s thigh and nibbled at his neck “Come on,” he mumbled into the mesh “It will be fun.”

Blurr tried to push Rodimus off but his nerves were numb. Rodimus pushed on, snaking a hand up the inside of Blurr’s thigh and rubbing the sensitive, yet un-aroused, exterior node. Blurr let coolant slip from his optics. He didn’t want this, but he wasn’t doing anything to stop it, and he didn’t know why.

Blurr shook “No!” he suddenly cried “I-I don’t want this!” but Rodimus didn’t stop. He held Blurr closer, and rubbed harder, trying to force the stiff panel open. He kept returning his hand every time Burr pushed it away.

“Rodimus!” Blurr yelled “Stop it! What are you doing you know I’m not ready for this!”

Before Rodimus got too far something took his wrist in an iron grip, and tore the intrusive hand away.

“What. Do you think. You’re doing?” Jazz growled quietly, squeezing Rodimus’s wrist before pulling him off the smaller bot. Blurr closed his legs and stood up “Rodimus,” he said weakly “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize to him!” Jazz demanded, keeping a cool tone and standing between them. He pointed to the Prime “You know where the line is Rodimus, and you just crossed it.”

The Prime’s face fell with guilt “I-” he had nothing to say “I’m sorry Blurr,” he mumbled, then rushing out the door, highly ashamed of the behavior he had just demonstrated. The couple had agreed in the first days of their relationship that they would interface when _Blurr_ was ready, and Rodimus was well aware that Blurr probably wouldn’t be ready for a while. Four years wasn’t enough to get over a loss like Blurr had, even with Blurr’s speed.

When Rodimus was gone Jazz turned to Blurr “Are you alright?” he asked, taking a single step closer.

“I’m—fine,” Blurr lied “That was…unusual.”

A small voice came from the hallway “Carrier?”

Blurr’s face lit up with horror as he turned to see Lightwave peeking out from behind the wall “Lightwave,” he breathed, rushing over to her.

“What was Rodimus doing?” Asked the little girl innocently, hints of distress making their way into her features as Blurr backed her into the hallway “Lightwave-” Blurr didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what she’d just seen, or if she didn’t see it, or if she had heard anything.

“What are you doing up, sweetspark, it’s late you should be in recharge-”

“What was he doing, Carrier, you sounded…you didn’t sound right, are you okay?”

Blurr’s face scrunched up with sorrow as he looked into the pleading eyes of his sparkling. He couldn’t say anything. He had no lies to give, or explanations. He looked at her bright red optics and dark purple frame, and realized something he had been refusing to admit for a while.

Blue coolant slipped from Blurr’s optics as he stared down at the confused child. He felt weak. His arms were numb and his processor was all over the place. Suddenly his knees gave out, and he fell before the child with a loud painful clang, wrapping his arms around her as he fell and hugging her so tight one could not even try to pry his arms away.

He sobbed into the little girls shoulder, tightening his embrace and never wanting to let her go.

He didn’t want any of this. He didn’t want to live in fear of someone taking her away, or hating her or ridiculing her because her Sire was a Decepticon. Blurr wanted his family back. He wanted his baby, he wanted his bond mate, and he wanted to live in peace. He wanted everyone to just leave him alone and let him lock himself away in his room and take care of his sparkling. He didn’t want Rodimus, or the Elite Guard, he wanted what he’d had.

But what he’d had is gone

And it was never coming back. Shockwave was long gone, and so was Blue. All he had was Lightwave, and he would protect her with everything he had in him. Even if it was nothing, even if Blurr had nothing left, he would stand before his sparkling, and never let her go.

“Carrier,” Lightwave squeaked, concerned for her care taker “What’s wrong?”

Her little voice brought Blurr to reality. He gave one last squeeze before pulling away “I-” he started weakly, wiping away tears “I’m just happy you’re here Lightwave.”

“Oh,” the sparkling leaped into her Carrier’s arms “I’m happy you’re here too.” She mumbled into Blurr’s shoulder. Blurr scooped her up and held her close. He transported her back to bed, gave her a kiss on the head, then closed the door silently behind him and returned to Jazz.

Neither said anything. Jazz put hand on his friends back and guided him to the berth room.

“I can stay the night again,” Jazz offered, keeping his voice low as not to wake the recharging Lightwave.

Blurr smiled “You can if you want, but it’s not necessary… Thanks Jazz…I don’t know if I could ever thank you enough for everything you’ve been doing.”

“Hey, it’s cool, no thanks necessary. What kind of Autobot would I be if I couldn’t help a brother out? Well, a _real_ Autobot, not the ones you’d see on the vid-screen,” Jazz offered a small smile. He put a hand on his friends shoulder “You get some recharge, I’ll kick it on the couch.” With that he was gone, leaving Blurr in the doorway and making his way to the living room.

The next day Blurr and Jazz made their way to the Elite Guard Academy and enrolled the over excited femme.

Blurr let his signature slip onto the data pad, giving his government permission to punch, beat, push, pull and harden his child. He didn’t want to, but he had to, and so with a slip of the pen,

Her training had begun.

 

* * *

 

 

“Yes!” cried the six year old Blue, watching as his sword sliced straight through the thick plated dumby. He hopped up and down with excitement “See Sire! I told you I could sharpen them by myself, see!”

“Calm yourself, Blue, just because you know how to sharpen the blade, does not mean you know how to use it. Do the rounds again.”

Blue hoped up immediately “Yes Sir!” he called, going back to the starting line and starting the stimulation over again, this time making few mistakes. Despite his near perfect run Shockwave made him do it thirty more times before Blue finally became tired. The sparkling slumped, panting before his sire, swords held loosely in stiff servos.

“One more time, dearest, before we retire for the evening.” Shockwave promised, pressing the button to start the session over again. Blue let out one big huff before taking his swords in a tight grip and quickly darting away.

The sparkling was nearly as quick as his Carrier, but still comparatively much slower. He zipped about the rain of energy blasts and struck every target that came to sight. He only managed to knick a few, which was highly unsatisfactory, but not the end of the world. He would do better the next day, he hoped, and impress his Sire to his highest ability. He was a quick footed little mech, already at a higher point in his training than a lot of the new Decepticon recruits. He strived to impress and lived off attention.

After this last set Blue bounded to his Sire and hoped before him with a stop, staying still and waiting for orders.

“You did fairly well,” Shockwave proclaimed, “I hope you do better tomorrow.” The large tank put out a hand “Come now, I want to get you to bed at a reasonable time.”

Blue took his Sire’s hand and scurried alongside the large Decepticon. Blue struggled to keep up, dodging large pedes in the wide hallway. Shockwave continued without obstruction. The hallways were busy that evening, with bots roaming about and transporting weapons and materials. They were making repairs in the walls, fixing faulty wiring and broken wall plates.

Blue looked blindly around the crowded facility, his attention drawn to the bright sparks of the welding torches. He was pushed back into reality by his Sire, who had to pull the sparkling out of the way of an incoming weapons carrier. Shockwave lifted the sparkling by the arm and gathered him into his arms “Watch out,” he said bluntly “You must always be on alert, my dear, do not allow your mind to wander.”

“I’m sorry Sire.”

“Do not apologize; just relent from doing it again.”

“Okay…What are we doing tonight?”

“We are refueling, then we are recharging. I may share a story with you before bed if you would like, you have been on such good behavior.”

Blue put on a broad smile “I would like that very much, Sire, thank you!”

“I may allow you to stay up late tonight. I just remembered I have a very important meeting with Megatron tomorrow and you must stay in the suite for most of the day. I apologize, my dear, there will be no training tomorrow. I’ve asked Blitzwing to look after you while I’m out.”

Blue’s smile fell into a pout “Why is it always Blitzwing?” he asked “Can’t we get someone less…that guy.”

“No one else has been able to tolerate you. You must realize, Blue, there aren’t a great deal of Decepticons in this facility who enjoy your presence here.”

“Why?”

“Because you were not meant to exist, darling, and while I am pleased that you do, I cannot say the same for the rest of the crew.”

“But-” Blue sat up in his Sire’s arms “I’m the fruit of your love, Sire, why don’t they like me?”

“Your Carrier was not popular either. And let us not speak of him outside of our room, Blue, the topic is touchy among the Decepticon race.”

Before Blue could reply they reached the room. Shockwave set him down and went to retrieve the energon. As they refueled Shockwave went over the rules and guidelines for the next day.

“Do not give him any reason to call me, or request I punish you for bad behavior. Do not laugh at his faces, or the fact he can’t control himself, do not leave the room, and no pranks. If you pull a prank I will know, and you will be punished.”

“Okay, but what would the punishment be, and does severity vary for anything I do, or is it based on how bad the thing I do is.”

“I am keeping it secret.”

“What!? Sire, you need to give me a chance to prepare myself.”

“I will not tell you.” Shockwave said again, more stern this time. Blue backed down.

“Okay, Sire, I’ll be good for Blitzwing…But can I practice on the dumby in my room?”

“No. I do not want you to accidentally hurt yourself or break anything. I know I leave Blitzwing in charge but I don’t believe he is the most responsible of bots.”

“But-” Blue’s face scrunched up with distress “I don’t—I don’t want to do nothing tomorrow! I don’t want to be left with Blitzwing!” Blue slammed a tiny fist on the table “I hate Blitzwing!”

Shockwave grabbed his sparkling’s wrist “I will not have any temper tantrums, darling, I’m not in the mood.” He released the wrist and watched as his sparkling’s eyes welled up with tears. He hated seeing his little creation in such pain, but he had to teach the baby how to control himself in order to fit in with Decepticon society. Unlike Blurr, Shockwave was able to start the integration of his sparklings acceptance in Decepticon society early. While everyone was well aware of where that child had come from, it mattered less in the Decepticon ranks. So long as the child was loyal, well trained, and able to follow orders, they would be accepted into the Decepticon ranks.

Shockwave hated seeing his sparkling cry. Not only because it was a reckless display of emotion, but because he knew that Blurr wouldn’t approve of it. Blue being in such distress struck a chord in Shockwave’s spark. He did not like seeing his sparkling cry, and vowed to himself, and his former lover, that he would destroy anyone who brought harm to their sparklings. In this case it was only Shockwave causing harm. He wished more time could be spent with the little thing, but he had no time. There was a war going on, there was work to be done. Shockwave had very little time to continue staying with his sparkling all day, and was no longer allowed to bring the sparkling everywhere he went. Megatron once allowed the creature to follow it’s Sire, but that stopped when Blue became six stellar cycles. To Megatron the Sparkling was a distraction his head scientist did not need, but it was also going to be a skilled soldier one day that he could use.

Shockwave was well aware of Blurr’s views on his children becoming soldiers, and Shockwave, in all honestly, wanted to stay with his mate’s ideas, but Blue had to be useful somehow, and right now the most useful thing he could be was a spy. Shockwave assumed the same kind of thing had happened to Lightwave. Both ideas made him somewhat sad, but the logical part of him kept the emotion in check.

Shockwave could not love his sparkling any more than he did, and found that the only way to protect Blue, is to turn him into something neither creator wanted him to be.

The evening finished with Shockwave reading Blue an old report while the sparkling sat in his lap. They sat in Shokwave’s berth, under the mesh blanket while the large Decepticon recited an exciting report the sparkling had already heard on several occasions. It was Blue’s favorite, though, and so Shockwave was more than willing to read it over and over again. A condition of reading in Shockwave’s berth was that Blue, immediately after the story was finished, retired to his own room. That did not end up happening. Blue snuggled contently into his Sire’s middle and fell into recharge there. Shockwave let out the smallest sigh when he realized that Blue was asleep. This was not planned, and was somewhat uncomfortable for Shockwave, but he could not move.

Blue had himself curled up in his Sire’s lap, the blanket halfway covering him. The sparkling rested a hand beside his head, snuggling right below Shockwave’s chest. The sparkling let out soft vents and tiny snores, fast asleep.

Shockwave did not dare move.

He carefully shifted to return the data pad to the shelf and turn out the light, all with the assistance of his abilities of extension. He carefully pulled the blanket up further, then leaned back and fell into recharge himself.

He woke up early the next morning with stiff joints and tense muscles. He did not feel well recharged, but was required to be awake at this hour. Blue remained asleep in his lap so Shockwave had to devise a plan to remove the child without disturbing it. He slipped a hand under Blue’s bottom, keeping the sparkling nestled in the blanket as he lifted the child from his la and cradled the baby in his arms.

Shockwave’s joints squeaked unhappily as he moved. He returned Blue to his own berth without any obstructions. The tank placed a light spark kiss on the top of the sparkling’s head with his antenna before departing.

Blitzwing should arrive before Blue awoke so Shockwave felt no discomfort leaving him alone in that time. Shockwave made great effort to make his, and Blue’s room non-accessible to anyone but them, and the occasional baby sitter.

Shockwave cracked his back strut. He was too old to have sparklings, if he was being completely honest with himself. When he was disguised as Longarm the relations with Blurr were just play. They interfaced because it was fun, because it felt good. Shockwave enjoyed having a young bot writhing beneath him, letting out beautiful sounds as a spike twisted within him. Sparking Blurr was not intentional, but it did occur and therefore Shockwave was required to take full responsibility. He did, of course, and returned to his mate in an attempt to make right the wrong he had created. Of course the sparkling was not supposed to exist. Shockwave intended to be-rid of it, get rid of the burden for the both of them, however, when he saw how Blurr fought for the creature, and Shockwave saw their creation with his own optic, he could not hurt it. He would not let anyone else hurt it either. During his stay Shockwave found himself in Blurr’s berth once again, and made the same mistake a second time, unable to believe how irresponsible he’d been. A second child was also not planned, and the news devastated the Carrier.

Shockwave remembered entering Blurr’s apartment and immediately having a data pad thrown at his head. Blurr screamed ‘you stupid fragger, you knocked me up again!’ in an angered, yet slurred voice, showing that he had been drinking. Due to Blurr’s system the high grade passed quickly and Blurr was completely coherent within the hour, but despite that continued to scold his mate. At that point in their relationship interface was still seen as pure stress relief for the both of them. Their spark bond was extremely strong however, and they spent a great deal of time together, which, Shockwave assumed, eventually resulted in their relationship. Not a relationship of stress relief, and the mere idea of a spark bond, but something deeper, something that had meaning and included an emotion similar to “Love.”

It was strange and unintentional, but both creators spark’s burned when the other was not near, and so neither could deny the bond they had developed over the course of their relations. Neither thought they could really get used to either.

That was clearly wrong, considering they had two sparklings together and posses aching sparks at the idea of being apart.

Shockwave’s spark always hurt. It was dull but it was there, so he ignored it. It flared at one point, during a meeting, so Shockwave decided he would have to keep better control of these things.

He walked to the meeting area where the rest of the high ranking Decepticons were already seated.

“I apologize for my tardiness,” he said upon entry, seeing that it had not started yet “I had a small—hindrance, this morning.”

A crackly voice scoffed on the other side of the room “You’re little “sparkling” getting in the way again?” asked Starscream.

Shockwave stared blankly at him for a moment before saying “I see no reason for there to be quotation marks around the work Sparkling. The creature I have in my care is, in fact a sparkling, and therefore there is no reason for you to put quotation marks around the word.”

Starscream stared in what seemed like disgust at Shockwave showing his purely technical side so blatantly. Megatron looked to his second in command “For once, Starscream, I would like to start a meeting without your insecent comments on Shockwave’s sparkling.”

“But, my lord!” Starscream pleaded “I am just trying to show us how inconvenient it is for everyone for this sparkling to be on bored the ship.”

Megatron slammed a fist on the table “The only thing inconveniencing us right now it _you,”_ he warned, pressing finger into Starscreams chest “Now, I suggest you hold your glossia, Starscream, so that we may proceed.”

Starscream scowled “Yes—Megatron.”

And the meeting proceeded. They went over the usual news, and dilemma’s. Megatron gathered the information he needed before sending his officers out to do their duty. Shockwave was sent to the lab, but he remained distracted. He couldn’t help but wonder how his sparkling was doing in Blitzwing’s servos.

 

00000000000

 

“You’re boring,” Blue complained, standing before his sitter and watching as Blitzwing did nothing. The larger Decepticon leaned down slightly “I am not here to entertain you, child, I am simply here to keep track of your behavior,” explained Icy, before Hot head took over “Yeah! And it’s not my job to entertain an annoying half Autobot brat!” Blitzwing shoved the little sparkling aside, causing Blue to stumble. Once Blue regained his footing he shot the half tank an angry look “Stop calling me an Autobot!” he raged “I am _not_ an Autobot! You’re just saying that to upset me you bog meanie!”

“You’re right,” said Icey, realizing that the sparkling was unaware of his origins, and that Shockwave probably wouldn’t be too pleased if Blitzwing told the little creature, “You are not an Autobot, you are a Decepticon. My mistake. I continually forget because of how small weak, and insignia less you are.”

Blue calmed slightly, with drawing into a displeased pout and crossed arms. He gave in a moment later “I’m going to practice my swords in my room,” he announced, stomping away.

“I vould not suggest that, little one, you’re Sire would not approve as far as I know.”

“So!?”

“So your Sire is someone I’m sure you do not want to disobey,” Blitzwing stood “I don’t know if you quite understand, child, just how highly respected your Sire really is,”

Random took over for a moment “He is the most important bot on the ship!” he paused for a laugh “Vizout him, zere wouldn’t even _be_ a ship!” Icy took his place as head again and began to explain “You’re Sire,” he started “He is…very important to the Decepticons. He works closely with Megatron, he designs most of our weapons, and he keeps us on a more technologically advanced level than the Autobots.”

Blue’s eyes brightened as he listened to Blitzwing talk about his Sire “Really?” he asked in amazement “Is that why he can’t spend time with me anymore?”

“Yes,” Blitzwing confirmed, “ And zat, I’m afraid, is something we _both_ must accept. I enjoy being here with you just as much as you enjoy being stuck in here vith me.”

Random took his place again “And just in case you didn’t catch that, I mean, Not At All!”

Blue pouted again “I hate you,” he mumbled.

“Good!” cried Random “Nobody likes you either!” Random leaned down and gave the upset sparkling a noogie “You are a little pest, and no one likes you. I hope you know that.”

Blue’s bottom lip trembled. He didn’t want to cry. He was stronger than that. Sire would most certainly disapprove if it is he spotted coolant stains on Blue’s cheeks.

“My Sire likes me.” Blue countered, barely able to get the words out through incoming tears.

“ _Sure_ he does,” Random said sarcastically “You aren’t a burden in the slightest.”

Icy took over “The truth is, little thing, you were a mistake.” Random took over again “You are small, annoying, inconvenient, and your Sire wished you were never born!” He cried happily, taking a short laugh afterwards.

Blue didn’t want to hear this anymore. He scurried off to his room and closed the door behind him. The little bot hid under his blanket and sobbed until he ran out of coolant. He did not want to be crying, but his undeveloped processor did not yet resist emotion like his Sire’s. Blue was well aware of everyone’s opinion on him. He was not well liked, but he always tried to be. He wanted to be the best he could, despite the hate. He stayed out of the way and respected his superiors. The only person he ever real wanted to impress was his Sire. Without his Sire Blue had nothing. Without his Sire’s care he had less than nothing. The mere thought of his Sire disliking him, hating him, or being disappointed in him was enough to make his spark stop.

Blue and Blitzwing often got into insult fights, but nothing had ever gotten that serious.

When Blue finished crying he laid in bed trying to devise a plan that would make his Sire like him again, make him less of a burden for everyone. The only thing the sparkling could come up with was to train harder. He had to become the best agent the Decepticons had ever seen if he was ever going to even come close to getting any respect as an adult. Megatron did not need lazy agents, so Blue refused to be one.

He stood from his hiding place, and with a stern look hardening his innocent Optics, climbed from the berth and took the swords from their spot on the wall.

He pulled the heavy practice dumby from the closet, using all of his tiny strength. Then he disobeyed his Sire’s orders. It wasn’t as though Blitzwing was going to do anything about it.

Blue hopped around the room, skinning the dumby and taking out large chunks from the artificial body. He moved like his Carrier, swift and quick. He bounced off the walls and leaped off the bed, giving himself different angles, and attack points. He dug the swords in deep and fell silent as he attacked, but raged as he stuck the blade in the body.

The dumby was made of a stronger, cybertronian metal similar to Osmium. It’s natural glow was filtered with every knick and splinter the blade delivered.

The scratches weren’t enough for Blue, though, the sparkling knew he could do better than that.

So he eventually managed to take out a chunk. A smoothly cut piece fell away from the head of the beast after Blue finished the silent attack.

But it still wasn’t enough for Blue.

So he tried harder and harder, and harder, taking everything his little body had and using it to more than the best of his abilities. He tore his tiny muscles, and strained his hurting hands, and he stained his innocent processor with every swipe of the blade.

He never let go of the swords, not even when his hands started to bleed, and his legs ached, and his nerves and joints told him to drop them. He wouldn’t allow the swords to leave his fingers until he was sure the opponent was dead. If he managed to die before then Blue liked to think he’d at least die with sword in hand.

He practiced all day, for hours upon hours, until day fell into night and his Sire returned.

Blue paid no attention to the yelling going on outside the door.

He didn’t see when his Sire entered

And he paid no attention when the swords left his hands

He didn’t see the blades sticking straight through the dumby

And he barely felt the large claws slip around him as he fell.

“Blue,” Shockwave’s soft voice pierced his audio receptors, “What have you been doing?” he inquired quietly, well aware of what his sparkling had been up to.

Blue wrapped tiny servos around the large hand that consumed him “Sire,” he said weakly “Sire,” fresh coolant slipped from the baby’s optics “I just wanted—to make you proud,” the sparkling smiled weakly before passing out in his Sire’s servos, leaving stains of blood as his hands slipped away.

Shockwave cradled the sparkling carefully in his large claws. He looked over the beat up sparkling, who had done this to himself. Shockwave laid Blue in the berth, and scanned the body with his servos and optic. He carefully inspected the torn up hands, going over the soon to be scars carefully, and making sure not to spread them further.

He let out a small sigh “You should not be this,” he whispered, carefully flicking a bit of dust from his baby’s face “You should not be this,” he whispered again, looking over to the mutilated practice figure.

He took the swords out and returned them to the wall before tucking his sparkling in and retiring to his berth room. He could not recharge, and he did not try. He listened, carefully, and concentrated on the small beating spark in the next room. He concentrated on the stiff, confused feelings swirling through his own spark as a result of Blurr’s emotional instability.

He felt his sparklings pain, and paid attention to it.

Blue was hurting.

So Shockwave was hurting too.

Shockwave did not know why, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t like it. Whoever had brought such a great amount of pain to his sparkling had to be destroyed. Of course Shockwave would have to do it mentally, considering it was most likely Blitzwing, and Shockwave was not permitted to kill Blitzwing.

Shockwave also couldn’t help but think of himself as a cause of Blue’s newly found self-mutilation. Shockwave was well aware that Blue wanted nothing more than approval, and he somewhat feared a message had been sent to the sparkling that Shockwave cared little for what the sparkling did. A message had been portrayed, at some point, that Blue had little to give and the Sire would never accept such a weakling.

Shockwave, however, was well aware of how far to push someone so young, and would have never forced Blue into the place the sparkling had forced himself.

The tank never wanted the baby’s hands to bleed, or at least not at such a young age. He never wanted Blue to train himself into exhaustion, going so far he could not stand at the end.

He never wanted Blue to break.

But he had, and he had done it himself. It was a strange reality Shockwave supposed he would now have to live with, and try to deal with.

Despite his efforts Shockwave could not help but add Blurr into the equation. If he was going to stay up he may as well stay up and think about something he loved, even if it pained him to do so.

Blurr would highly disapprove of Shockwaves parenting methods. They were cold but they were effective. Shockwave would be scolded for handing a sparkling, barely two stellar cycles old, a sword and telling him to run around with it. Blurr would not approve of carrying the sparkling absolutely everywhere, or having it near any type of dangerous machinery, or weapons. Blurr certainly wouldn’t approve of the sparkling being fed with a non-deluded form of energon.

There were a lot of things Blurr wouldn’t approve of.

Shockwave never took any real part in attempting to raise his first child because he found that to be the right of the Carrier. He, as a Sire, could only intervene when asked, and otherwise decided to keep his servos out of Blurr’ business. While the child was Shockwave’s, he could not claim it. He could see it, and visit it, and interface with it’s Carrier to produce another, but it would never truly be his. He did not carry it, he did not care for it, he did not produce the energon for it to feed on, and he could not feel it as deeply as the Carrier could.

Still, though, there was a connection. The pain the punched Blue’s spark flicked at Shockwave’s and told him to pay more attention Shockwave wished he could. He wished he could spend even the smallest bit of extra time with his sparkling, but he couldn’t. There was no time to spare, and soon he wouldn’t even be able to train the little thing anymore. In this sense Shockwave assumed, only slightly, that it was good Blue had become determined to succeed on his own time. It meant Shockwave didn’t have to bet here for abolutly everything that the sparkling did, he merely had to know about it in order to portray the smallest bit of pride he had for Blue’s skill. The sparkling was getting very good very quickly, and Shockwave supposed that was good as well.

In any case Shockwave still felt bad. He had made great strides on order to keep the innocence of his sparkling, and in a few short hours all of his efforts had been shattered. All Shockwave could attempt to de was pick up the pieces and carry the sparkling weight with him.

 

* * *

 

  

Blurr squeaked “Rodimus, she could hear us-” Blurr was interrupted as Rodimus took another quick nip at the open valve lips “Then be quiet,” he suggested, taking another cruel nip at the sensitive folds.

Blurr sighed, annoyed, “Can we just get this over with?” Blurr requested, keeping his voice low and holding back a low moan “I don’t want her walking in on us.”

“Come on, she’s too smart for that.”

“You’d be surprised.”

Rodimus made no attempt to reply. His mouth was full.

Blurr squirmed under Rodimus’s lips, tempted to close his legs, but finding the grip on them too strong. Every time Blurr tried to bring them together Rodimus forced them back apart, keeping a tight grip on the speedster’s thin thighs.

“Rodimus,” Blurr whined “Hurry up,” he squeaked, receiving a sharp bite from the bot between his legs.

“Will you calm down?” Rodimus requested “I am trying very hard to pleasure you right now, and I can barely get you to overload through the complaining.”

“I’m sorry if you’re going so slow,” Blurr smirked. He quickly sat up and brought Rodimus’s head up, holding the prime’s cheeks. The former racer delivered a hard passionate kiss to his partner, before pulling away with a soft hum “I taste good,” he commented, then leaning back and spreading his legs wide “I’m sure I _feel_ even better.”

Rodimus returned the smirk. Rodimus removed his spike from it’s housing and, after a bit on light stimulation, delivered what Blurr had ordered.

Ten year old Lightwave had been waiting outside the door until they actually started interfacing. A few minutes after the spike made contact with the valve she slammed her fist on the door and screamed “This is fraudulence!!” ruining, for a third time, her Carrier’s attempt at interface.

At this point Blurr was fed up.

He ignored the yelling for a while, taking in what he could of the blissful stress relief being delivered. He needed this. He may not entirely want this, but he needed it. Without the sweet release of interface Blurr had very few ways, that were not self-destructive, to get rid of stress.

Earlier on Blurr had tried drinking. He bought more high grade than real energon and drank himself to sleep. That behavior was stopped as soon as Jazz got wind of it.

It turned out Blurr had been drinking himself to sleep since Lightwave was six Stellar cycles. He never let her see him drink, and he was never over charged during the day. The only reason Jazz found out was because Blurr began to have frequent processor aches which he always tried to hide but never could. Jazz thought it was just stress at first, but soon found out it was more when he discovered Blurr’s “secret stash” and lack of funds when it came to absolutely everything, despite his job in the Elite Guard. Blurr ran out of money quickly when he should not have been.

Jazz confronted Blurr on the subject and Blurr was not quick to denial. He was fairly quick to tears. Real tears, for once, not the fake ones he’d been shoving out through the years. He confessed to his problem but was reluctant to ask for help. He had no other way to calm himself down and he needed to keep calm for Lightwave. He wanted to get better and stay better for _her,_ or at least try to _look_ better. He never wanted Lightwave to see that something was wrong. He never wanted her to know that her Carrier was hurting, he never wanted her to know that they were struggling financially, or that Blurr could barely pay for his apartment any more, He didn’t want her to know that he was so close to a break down at any given moment, or that her Sire was any different than any other Sire, or that their life was not “ideal.”

Blurr didn’t know how to handle it and he had no idea why.

He had dealt with tougher situations before. He’d gone through cruel interrogations, and run for his life across the galaxy. Blurr could not understand why the loss of his Sparkling’s Sire had devastated him so greatly, and left such a deep impact. He should not have been hurting as much as he did, or be struggling as much as he was. It was difficult for his processor to grasp everything that was going on.

His lies had destroyed him, the sparkling had destroyed him, their Sire had destroyed him, and there were no real pieces to be recovered. Blurr had to gather up his old life with a little extra piece that didn’t quite fit but he never wanted to get rid of. He was carrying more weight than he could handle, and it was beginning to crush him.

So instead of high grade Blurr switched to interface. It still wasn’t entirely healthy, but it was free, and better than drinking. However, this alternative upset the extra piece of weight he carried, leading her to slam on the door every time Blurr and Rodimus tried to begin.

Eventually Blurr grew tired of it.

“Lightwave!” he screamed “Go back to bed!”

Lightwave stomped her little foot “No!” she screamed “This is wrong!! Why are you doing this with him! He’s not right! He’s not right he’s not right he’s not right!”

Rodimus stopped “Go talk to her,” he advised, slipping out and sitting back on the berth.

Blurr let out an exasperated sigh before climbing from the berth. He cleaned himself up slightly before going to confront the little femme. Blurr was not a happy Carrier.

“Lightwave,” he started, as soon as the door closed behind him “What have I told you about interrupting Rodimus and I while we’re—you know what we were doing.” Blurr knelt down the before the girl, who had yet to receive her full growth spurt. She stood dissatisfied, arms crossed, scowl glued to her face.

“What is the problem, Lightwave?” Blurr inquired, pushing down his anger.

Lightwave suddenly fell into a pleading stance “You can’t interface with him Carrier!” she cried, “You just can’t! He’s—he’s not right! You don’t even like it!!”

“Lightwave--!”

“Please Carrier don’t!”

“Lightwave, that is not your decision to make. Now go back to bed, I’m done having this conversation.”

Blurr was about to stand but he was grabbed by the desperate femme “No you can’t go back in there!” she cried, prompting Blurr to finally ask “And why not!?”

“Because it’s not Sire!” she cried, drips of coolant sneaking out of her optics.

Blurr was taken aback.

The girl continued “I know you want me to hate him! But I just can’t Carrier, I just can’t, and neither can you!”

Blurr stood up and leaned against the door. He slid down into a sit, and placed a hand on his aching head, almost unable to believe what the girl had just confessed.

“You don’t even _like_ Rodimus.” Lightwave concluded quietly, baffled that her Carrier would even _consider_ being with a mech like him. Being with someone who didn’t treat Carrier well, and didn’t treat Lightwave well, and was just, in essence, and completely insensitive idiot just looking for a valve to fill. That’s what Lightwave saw in him, and she didn’t like it.

She wanted her Sire back, and had since he’d left. She wanted big cold claws that protected her and kept her Carrier safe. She wanted her Carrier under a bot who cared for more than interface.

“Go to bed Lightwave,” Blurr demanded, feeling defeated.

“But-”

“I said go to bed!”

Lightwave backed down. She retired to her room and did not return to her Carrier for the rest of the night. Blurr re-entered the room. He was no longer in the mood to interface so he laid down without a word and let Rodimus’s hand slip around his waist as they fell into recharge.

The next morning Blurr woke up late. He found his partner missing and Lightwave nowhere to be found. This worried him slightly because the only explanation was that both had run away. The alternative would have been Rodimus taking Lightwave to school, but that would have never happened.

Blurr ran to the academy, reaching the door right as Rodimus did, causing them to almost collide. The Prime grabbed Blurr by the waist “What’s the rush?” he asked.

Blurr stood baffled for a moment before answering “Lightwave,” he said, not entirely asking anything, but getting the message across.

“She’s inside.” Said the Prime, walking past his partner. Blurr quickly caught up “You took her to school?” he asked, unable to believe it.

Rodimus shrugged “Yeah, what’s the big deal?”

“She hates you.”

“Yes, but she loves school. She woke me up this morning and said she was going to be late. My initial reaction was ‘so what? Wake up your Carrier.” Then she explained that she would rather bother someone she disliked then wake up her over worked, underpaid Carrier who is dating a numbskull. Quite the mouth on that girl.”

Bur could only blink “She said that?” he asked quietly.

Rodimus shrugged again “Yeah, but it was kind of whatever. I know I’m a numbskull.”

Blurr didn’t say anything for a moment, until a question came to mind “How is she doing?” he asked, having heard very little from any one on how well she was really getting along in the academy.

“She loves guns,” Rodimus answered immediately “Like, more than the average bot should love guns. She _loves_ gun. Not a bad thing, though, she can already shoot a target eight hundred feet away and hit the middle as though it were directly in front of her. I’m not worried, everyone is impressed.”

Blurr let out a small sigh of relief “That’s good.”

“I don’t know what you were worrying about, she’s made up of you and _Shockwave._ If he wasn’t a horrible Decepticon, and you and him had stayed together, but you know as though where Longarm, but he’d been Shockwave the entire time, you guys would be the ultimate power couple.”

Blurr raised an optic ridge “Thanks…I think.” After a moment Blurr smiled, happy to hear that his sparkling had taken well to the academy. Since her entry Blurr hasn’t had the time to go over her training, or check her status in the academy. He would have to ask more often, seeing as how the information is easily accessible through Jazz, who is, at the moment, the head trainer for her class.

Lightwave enjoyed school quite a bit. It was her chance to get away from the life she lived, and train herself amongst the highest ranking Autobots so that one day she could protect her Carrier, just as her Carrier had protected her. Lightwave wasn’t dumb, and she had become more aware in recent years than she had been at eight years old. She knew her Carrier drank too much, and worked too much, and got so little for the efforts he’d put into taking care of her, and himself, and the intelligence division. Lightwave devoted herself to protecting him, and had tried devoting herself to forgetting her Sire. That didn’t happen, though, and his calm deep voice and bright red optic, and sharp cold claws still remained in her processor. They’d stuck, and they weren’t going anywhere, so Lightwave had to work around them. She used his leaving as motivation and his features as a guide. She would be as powerful as him one day, and there was no doubt in her mind. She would be as strong as him, and as smart, and as influential, and right on target. That was her goal, and there was no doubt in her mind that she’d reach that goal. She strained herself, and shed herself farther than she should be pushing. She wouldn’t stop training. Even if her muscles tore and her frame cracked and her body broke, she would not stop training, not until she met her goal.

In school she was the best. She could out shoot and out run anyone in her division. She had been bumped up two classes, and even then she was beating out the competition.

After a great amount of races that day of training Jazz pulled her aside, “Slow down little miss,” he advised, having told he rest of his trainees to continue working on something.

“What’s the problem, Lightwave, you seem a bit out of it.” Asked the older bot, kneeling down to her level.

Lightwave took a deep vent, still recovering from the last run “Nothing,” she heaved “Nothing is wrong, I’m fine, what makes you think I’m not fin? Fine fine fine, can I g back to training now?”

Jazz seemed taken aback by the answer “No!” he said, surprised she hadn’t noticed “You’ve got a crack in your back strut and your knees have gone crooked. You’re over working yourself, Lightwave, you need to go to the med-bay.”

Lightwave looked confused “The med-bay?” she questioned, as if that woudnt help her at all “What do you mean, I’ve barely got started.”

“You’ve been training for two hours, little miss, with no breaks and no energon. Now just, col down, alright? Take a breather while I work with the other student.”

Lightwave was insulted, and at a loss for words “But-!” she could barely get another word out “I-I’ve been training so hard! I can’t stop now!”

“All I said was take a breather. Sit out and collect your thoughts. It’s alright, Lightwave, you won’t be going into battle any time soon.”

Jazz sat her down against the wall, and walked back into the facility where he began the next course of training.

Not wanting to do nothing Lightwave made her way to the med bay to get fixed up, in preparation for more training.

Red Alert repaired the broken mechanisms in her knees and mended her back struts.

“You shouldn’t be running,” Red Alert advised, making one last adjustment “Your body is too dense. You may not be big yet, but you will be. The struts and shock absorbers in your legs won’t be able to handle the rapid change in weight when you move that fast. They can do it, but you’ll wear yourself out and shorten you lifespan by half if you go quick when you’re big.” Red Alert stepped in front of the sparkling “I suggest you stay off them for now.”

“Stay off my legs!?” Lightwave cried “I can’t! They’re my greatest asset!”

“No, they’re your Carrier’s greatest asset. You’re skill comes with aim. Use that. Not your speed. You’ve also got muscle. Maybe not right now, but once you hit your growth spurt you’ll most likely end up something like your Sire, and if that happens you won’t even need to be well trained in order to instill fear in your enemies.”

“I don’t want to instill fear, I want to _destroy_ them.”

Red Alert shrugged “You can’t destroy everything.” She said, wiping down the tools she’d used “If you want to fight Decepticons, you’re going to have to do it in a body that works. You keep going, and you’re body won’t work. You decide which you’d rather.”

Lightwave was at a loss for words. She let out a small dissatisfied huff before hopping off the medical berth and making her way back to the training area. She was allowed back in and did exercises with the rest of the group until the end of the day.

Jazz pulled her aside again and offered to walk her home, and offer she greatly accepted.

On the walk back to Blurr’s apartment Lightwave talked up a storm on what she needed to improve and the sorts of things she wanted to learn in the academy. She talked nearly as fast as he Carrier, and said just as man words.

Jazz couldn’t help but laugh sometimes. She was turning out to be almost a perfect combination of her Carrier and Sire. That idea somewhat frightened and somewhat endeared Jazz.

When they reached the apartment Lightwave rushed to her room, saying a quick greeting to her Carrier before sheltering herself in her room and continuing to practice her moves, as well as come up with new ideas that would make up for her required lack of speed.

“She seems to be in a hurry,” Blurr commented, approaching Jazz “How has she been tking to the new class?”

“Very well actually,” Jazz hummed a small laugh “Kind of a show off though.”

Blurr shrugged “Eh, she gets that from her Creators. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Not tonight, I’ve got some work to get done back in Metroplex.” Jazz leaned in and lowered his voice “I’m gonna suggest you get to talking to your sparkling, though,” he suggested “She’s starting to get some ideas on her head that probably won’t aid her on the long run. I know you two have been having problems since you and Rodimus got intimate. Take some time, brother, take some time.” With that Jazz gave a smile and left.

Blurr just stood in the middle of his living room slightly confused, and slightly guilty.

Ever since Blur and Rodimus began interfacing the relationship between the speedster and his sparkling had gone downhill quickly. All Burr ever really did when she misbehaved was raise his voice. He knew that wouldn’t do anything, though, but had long since run out of options.

The blue speedster, after a moment, made his way to the sparkling’s room and hesitantly knocked on the door.

“Lightwave?” he called “I want to talk to you.” He voice was weak and somewhat frightened for some reason, as if he’d be denied by his sparkling.

“Come in.” Lightwave called back after a moment.

Blurr entered slowly, sticking close to the door and shutting it as soon as he slipped through “Lightwave,” he said quietly, watching the child play on the floor with her data pads “Lightwave, I was hoping I could talk to you…about these last few weeks.”

“Do you mean about your betrayal to my Sire?” Lightwave mumbled.

Blurr fell to his knees beside the sparkling, not entirely on purpose. He put out his hands “Lightwave, you need to work with me! I know you’re upset, and I know you don’t like this but you need to talk to me, not just sit in your room and mope and be upset without letting me know that you’re moping and upset and unhappy, and all of these things that we haven’t been communicating to each other!”

“…You do the same thing.”

Blurr scowled slightly “Yes, but I’m the adult, and you, as the kid, are not supposed to know when the adult is upset, but I know you know, and I know you feel the need to protect me or support me, or us, and I know you know more than you let me know, and you should have expected more from me considering I’ve been an intelligence agent for a lot longer than you’ve been training. I know that you are aware of our money problems and my emotional problems and all of the other problems, but you’re still upset. But that’s not what you’re upset about. So what is it?” Blurr sat cross legged beside his sparkling, facing her while she faced the wall.

Eventually the femme looked up from her data pad and turned slowly to look at her Carrier.

“I. Hate. Rodimus.” She said after a moment, turning her body to face the blue speedster “That’s my problem, but you knew that, and you’ve _known_ that, and you haven’t done anything about it.”

Blurr made no movement. After a moment he slowly leaned back and thought for a moment “Rodimus,” he stated “That’s your only problem…Rodimus.”

“Rodimus,” Lightwave repeated “Is a mean and selfish jerk who just doesn’t get it. He’s loud and self-centered and he’s rough and not as good at his job as he thinks he is.”

After a few seconds Blurr gave her a stiff nod “Alright,” he said, putting an arm out and tugging his sparkling closer “Alright. He’s gone. He’s gone he’s gone he’s gone, Lightwave,” Blurr wrapped his sparkling in a hug. The femmed nestled her head into her Carrier’s chest, and felt his spark beat against her head. Blurr took a deep vent, and let it out as he spoke “Just…anything to keep us together, because-”

“All we have is each other.”

 

* * *

 

  

Shockwave stood before his eight year old sparkling, who stayed straight and attentive through the entire inspection. Blue had been looked over by the highest ranking Decepticons. They watched him train, and fight, and put him on stimulatory missions. He did well, it seemed, and was in no danger of being released from Shockwave’s care.

“You seem to have done well,” Megatron commented, standing beside Shockwave “And despite his less than desirable aesthetic, I believe there will be a place for this one in the future Decepticon ranks. Keep up the training.”

“Thank you my lord.” Shockwave bowed his head and watched to make sure his sparkling did the same. Megatron left a moment later, leaving Shockwave and his sparkling alone. As soon as Megatron had vacated the premises Shockwave scooped the sparkling into his arms, taking Blue by surprise.

“Sire!” he protested “I’m not a kid any more! I’m almost a soldier!”

“Oh, y dear, you are quite a ways away from being a soldier. For now you are still my sparkling, and you will be rewarded as such. Which story would you like to see tonight?”

Blue scowled “I’ve heard enough stories. I need to recharge early so that I can get up and train.”

“You have trained enough, Blue, you are allowed, at the moment, to take a break. When you are older there are no breaks.”

“There can’t be breaks now!”

“…Do not speak to me that way.” Shockwave put his sparkling down in his room “I am well aware that this tough physique is nothing more than a shell to impress me. You have done well, my dear, however, you are young, and at the moment you will slow down, lay down, and allow me to tell you a story. And in a few short years, you will be going on missions. Do you understand?”

Blue nodded as he climbed into bed “I understand Sire…Proceed.”

And so Shockwave did. He climbed into the small bed, and allowed Blue to snugged into his lap as the large Sire recited another “Story.” He told a love story, of two bots from opposite words, who were enemies at heart, however loved each other despite the hate in their sparks.

He told the secrets one kept that forced a murderous hand, and he told of the result of their love. He told of their separation, and their meeting, and their secrets and lies. He told of small desperation, and devastation, and kept it with the sad end it had.

Blue had fallen asleep in the Sire’s lap before he reached the sad end, and Shockwave stopped before his side of the story ended. He kept quiet, and looked down at his little sparkling.

“And then I took him away.” He whispered “And he became, what we did not want him—to become.”

 

* * *

 

  

Blurr stood before his twelve year old sparkling, now nearly taller than him, right before she was to enter the stage and receive her graduation pad from junior academy. At such a young age, too, the youngest in her class, behind everyone by two years.

She had taken the final exam and passed with the highest score in the academy. Blurr put a hand on his sparkling’s shoulder “You’ve done well, Lightwave.” Blurr leaned down “I can’t _wait_ to see how well you _will_ do.”

Lightwave smiled broadly “Thanks Carrier.” Her name was called and she stepped away. A second later she swerved back, and took her Carrier into a tight hug “Thank you Carrier,” she mumbled into his shoulder “I won’t let you down.” With that she released and went onto the stage to accept her reward, and receive her next mission.

Blurr was scared she’d be sent away to a separate training facility somewhere far away from Cybertron. He feared that he wouldn’t be seeing his sparkling after she took the stage.

It wasn’t uncommon.

As Blurr watched his daughter take the data pad from Sentinel, and accept another reward for being the youngest person to graduate from the junior academy, Jazz came up behind the Carrier and gave Blurr’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze “Don’t worry,” he whispered “I’ll make sure she doesn’t get too far away.”

“She’s already far away,” Blurr answered quietly, his voice distant I just don’t want her to get any further.”

 

* * *

 

  

“You are being assigned to your first mission.” Shockwave announced to the ten stellar cycle old Blue “It is small, and due to begging, I have granted it to you. You are to keep guard while I repair a damaged underground space bridge on one of captured planets.”

Blue took a stiff salute “Yes sir.” He said “I will make sure my blades are well prepared.”

 

* * *

 

  

“You’re going on your first mission,” Blurr sighed at fourteen stellar cycle old Lightwave “Nothing big, but it’s dangerous, very dangerous, and only through your relentless begging have I signed the data pad to let you go with me on this mission. You’re going with me to keep guard while I infiltrate a Decepticon space bridge that is supposedly under construction, that is, right now, supposed to be abandoned, on a Decepticon riddled planet.”

Lightwave hoped into a tight salute, wearing a broad smile “Yes Sir!” she called “I’ll make sure my weapons are fully loaded.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes, I kind of gave up on editing on the last few intervals.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will say, I think, of the other four chapters, this one is the worst. It holds aspects that I am still iffy on, but you'll all have to give me your feedback, I wrote it but the quality is lost on me. There are a lot of things I like about it, just a few little things I spent a long time contemplating. also, I apologize for any errors, and if you find any major ones please point them out to me, I only read this over once.

“Stand by the door while I make the repairs,” Shockwave commanded, pointing to the large opening in the red cave wall. Blue positioned himself without question, keeping his back to the large room containing the space Bridge and his Sire. His eyes lay unmoving on the dark entrance to their sector.

“Sire,” Blue called without turning around “How large is this facility?”

“It goes approximately a fourth of the way through the planet with very few surface entrances. Most of it is underground. Why do you ask?”

“I’m sorry if I’m over stepping my bounds, but wouldn’t it be better if there were more guards here to watch over while you repair the space bridge? Someone to guard the entrances, despite their few?”

“It was found unnecessary to send more than the two of us. As far as our intelligence is aware, the Autobots are blind to this small planet, It is out of the way, and practically invisible. There is no danger of being attacked, and even if there was, it would not be by more than an intelligence agent scouting the area.”

“But, doesn’t the space bridge give off a radiation, or energy signature that the Autobots would be able to detect?”

“It is possible, however improbable. The stone this planet is made up of is supposed to prevent the energy signature from being detected by anyone off world. That is why it’s underground. Now quit asking so many questions and do your job.”

“Yes Sir, my apologies.”

Though he was keen on following order to the best of his abilities, the young mech became restless after only a few minutes of staring into the dark empty space. He requested permission to scout the nearby hallways, just in case the old motion detectors above ground missed a potential intruder. Shockwave granted him leave, knowing the child would only annoy him further if he did not.

Blue thanked his Sire before heading into the dark space. Dim cave lanterns lit his way, but didn’t do much to illuminate the area. The red rock remained dull underground, and the silence was broken only by the empty metal steps of his small peds. Blue listened carefully, waiting for another footstep, or anything coming from the world above.

After twenty five minutes of blind wandering he heard nothing. Every time the young mech passed another hallway he peeked around the corner before keeping true. In order to prevent getting lost, he only ever went straight.

At one point, however, with a trickle of courage in his tracking abilities, Blue turned down one of the many hallways that lined the tunnel he was traveling through.

With a couple more turns, and the help of lookalike caves, Blue eventually found himself lost within the deep facility, struggling to find his way back. His tracking devices were on the fritz due to what he assumed to be mineral interference within the walls. If the massive energy signature of a regular sized space bridge could not break the surface, there was no chance of the young Blue’s mediocre tracking signal penetrating the thick red walls. In this case Blue had to rely on his instincts and memory to return him to the main station.

Until then, he was wandering blindly through dimly lit halls, and thick red tunnels.

 

* * *

 

 

“When we touch down, you follow me to an entrance. After that you’re on your own. I’ll make my way to the main space bridge, you shut down any surveillance material, or guards on duty, but there shouldn’t be any. This facility is supposed to be entirely abandoned, but of course, Decepticons are unpredictable. Keep on your guard. Be careful if you have to do any shooting in order to keep the caves stability. I don’t know how old or unstable these things are, so be careful don’t fire any shots if you don’t have to try to use your fists the built up gases within the planet, inherently within the cave, are highly flammable so like I said, don’t fire any shots if you don’t have to. Last resort. At the end of the mission I will not be able to contact you but once you’ve finished your mission meet me at the rendezvous point…Did you get all that?”

“Yes Carr- I mean Sir. I understand.”

“Good.”

They landed a few miles away from the closest opening. Once Blurr shut down the small shuttle he announced that the mission is now in effect and they will retain radio silence until further notice.

The surface of the planet was blank and orange, covered in dust and a metal that resembled steel, or led. There was no wind, so the dust on the surface stayed settled on the ground. Blurr ran ahead, clearing a path for his colleague to follow, knowing that she could not keep up. Her part of the mission was not as intensely important as his. This facility was supposed to be abandoned. It was supposed to be empty and shut down, and scoped out to see whether or not it would be suitable as an Autobot base. It was in the perfect location. It was secluded, and small, out of the way for most space highways, and hidden among an immense dusty ice storm brewing about this particular sector. Half of the planet remained frozen while the other half lay dormant in a red dusty waste land.

Lightwave followed her Carrier's track and soon found the entrance to the facility. She flipped open the heavy metal door and let it fall back as she hopped through. The door slammed shut right as her feet hit the dirt. She looked up at it, curious as to why the entrance was a thick metal door in the ground instead of something more discrete like a cave on a cliff side, or a cave within a crater. She also couldn’t figure out why one of the entrances to an old Decepticon base did not seem large enough to fit an average size Decepticon.

Though she had some concerns Lightwave had to assume that her highly experienced and well equipped Carrier had already worked out all of the details, and had already deciphered everything that may seem out of the ordinary. Lightwave continued without worry, keeping a steady eye on the mission ahead.

She soon realized that her tracking devices were completely useless, and instead began to rely on memory so she could eventually find her way back. She was well equipped with a majority of the traits that made a good intelligence agent like her Carrier. She would be able to find her way back easily using the information she collected.

For now all she has to do is keep her head up, and mind clear.

 

* * *

 

 

“This has taken longer than expected.” Proclaimed Shockwave to himself, staring down the dark hallway Blue had wondered down nearly two hours prior.

“I suppose I should make an attempt to retrieve him.” The large mech looked back to the space bridge. It’s arms had been cracked and broken with age and lack of use, while it’s main power source was dryer than the planet it occupied. The energy within the planet was too unstable to be used as a power source, and before Shockwave had made some severe modifications to the control panel the buttons and controls were not even connected to the rest of the machine. The power house was no longer suited to wield the amount of energy it would take to power the bridge while it remains buried underground, and the entire infrastructure of the facility itself remained in question.

Shockwave decided that he would report the facility as useless, outdated, and malfunctioning, unfit for a Decepticon space bridge base, and suitable for demolition, after removing any useful machinery from the space Bridge.

After he recorded the report to hand in Shockwave took a short journey through the cave in search of his son. He called out for the young mech, announcing that it was time for them to take their leave.

Only a few caves away a smaller Blue bot came racing through the tunnels, drawn by the soft familiar voice echoing across the walls. Blurr’s feet seemed to turn by themselves, steering his body through the tunnels, and analyzing the quickest way to reach the calling voice.

Blurr tried very hard to justify the sudden attraction by telling himself that a voice meant a mech, and a mech meant activity within the facility. It was possible this place was not as abandoned as he’d been lead to believe.

No matter the reason for his sudden curiosity, Blurr soon found himself speeding down the hallway where the voice originated. He ran by the culprit so quickly he barely had time to process who he’d passed “Shockwave?” he questioned, taking a glimpse back before attempting to stop. Instead of stopping, however, Blurr slipped on the dusty cave floor, he fell onto his back, slid, and skidded until he crashed into the decommissioned space bridge, crushing the old control panel into scrap and flying face first into the leg of the bridge.

From this crash several small sparks emerged, jeopardizing the stability of the large cavern. The crash sent a series of explosions though the space bridge, which in turn began collapsing the cave entirely. Before Blurr knew what had happened he was scooped up by a pair of strong arms, and dragged back to where he’d come from. He was hauled quickly through the cave until the other half of it broke way and blocked the rest of the entrance ways.

When the domino effect finally fell to an end Shockwave and Blurr found themselves trapped.

“You’re kidding,” Blurr mumbled, then realizing the position he was in and quickly scrambling out of Shockwave’s arms. The blue speedster rushed around, looking for a way out, “come on come on come on.” He whispered under his breath, feeling around the walls. The two found themselves stuck in a space only large enough to fit two or three bots Shockwave’s size, and one mini bot of it was really squeezed in there.

Blurr sighed. There was no good way to deal with this. If they went up the entire thing could collapse, if they went through the fallen rock the entire thing could collapse, the only way they had was down, and neither of them had the correct tools to do that effectively. Seeing as how they were trapped, with no possibility of escape, Blurr took the time to take care of some unfinished business.

He stomped over to Shockwave, who was already set on his knees, and gave the large cyclops a stiff slap. Before the larger mech could reply Blurr took him by the back of the head and gave his face plate a desperate kiss. When they separated Blurr delivered one more slap “You fragger!” he yelled “How dare you take away my sparkling what in the name of Primus makes you think you can take them away from me!” he pushed his sparkmate, but Shockwave remained un-phased “No one was supposed to be here! You stupid stupid, Gaah!!” Blurr felt like punching something. The only thing around to punch, though, was Shockwave, considering punching a wall could be catastrophic. Blurr swung his fist, but the weak appendage was easily caught by a larger, sharper one. Shockwave pulled the small bot closer and wrapped his arm around his former mate’s waist, pressing the small body against his chest. Blurr wanted to push away but found it difficult. He’d missed the tough beating of Shockwave’s spark against his own. He’d missed the cold massive body and the weight resting on his back. After a moment of this Blurr willed himself to pull away. Before he could enforce it, though, Shockwave began to speak.

“He’s beautiful,” said the tank quietly, his voice rumbled against Blurr’s chassis, “He is beautiful, and he is strong, and he does not belong where he is. When you see him…if you see him, I want you to take him away.”

Blurr forced himself from the larger’s grip as much as he could “Take him? Take who!?”

“Blue…the second of our creations.”

Blurr tugged his wrist from the tank’s grip, but a hand remained on his back “Blue? Blue our sparkling? The one you took from me—the one you _stole_ from me!? He’s here? Now? He’s only ten stellar cycles old what is he doing _here?”_

“The Decepticons mature their young much faster than the Autobots. No matter the circumstances Blurr, I need you to take him away from me. I assumed the child would have a better life and take a burden away from you if he were to come with me, but I was mistaken. He must be returned to his Carrier promptly…This encounter is purely chance, but it may be my only opportunity to hand him over.”

Blurr backed away, slipping out of Shockwave’s claws entirely, “He’s a Decepticon,” the speedster said quietly, averting his gaze from the bright red optic, “He won’t trust me. He won’t know me.” Blurr wanted Blue. He wanted to have his baby back, but he couldn’t. It was too late, and Both Shockwave and Blurr were well aware of the circumstances surrounding the return of Blue to his Carrier. Blurr could not return with two children, nor could he lie about one being simply found and of no relation to him. This mission had gone astray in a direction neither party had anticipated. Where they will end up remains a mystery.

“He knows you,” Shockwave continued, “Whether you are an Autobot or Decepticon, you are still his Carrier. That bond never dwindles.”

“I don’t know…” Blurr backed away even more, “At this rate we’re going to die here.”

“Blurr, if there is one thing I ask of you, my love, it is that you take Blue when we are liberated.”

Blurr was taken aback for a moment by the words “my love’ slipping from the tanks lack of lips. The small phrase sent shivers through his body and helped remind the blue bot why the mech before him was so enthralling. It reminded him of the bond they permanently shared, and the burdens they’d both carried with them, both of which were there with them, “Shockwave-!” Blurr squeaked.

“Take. Blue. With you.”

Blurr growled, and stomped to the other side of the space, taking a seat in the corner, “He won’t trust me.”

“He will if I tell him to.”

“And the Decepticon symbol?”

“He does not carry one.”

“Well that simplifies things. He’s yours now…like I said.”

“He is yours, and always has been. He is unfit for Decepticon life. If he were to continue he would die at an extraordinary young age. He is too small to be a Decepticon, and too weak minded.” It was a lie, of course, but Shockwave could no longer handle the idea of his sparkling being subject to the Decepticon life style. What the young mech had already become was something Blurr never wanted him to be. Just as with Lightwave, Blue had hardened in an attempt to impress his creator. His mind had already been hardened and Shockwave did not want his beautiful creation to become nothing but a mindless killing machine, so loyal to a delusional lord that he loses himself in the process.

Shockwave did not try to convince Blurr further, instead he made a stiff attempt to make conversation “How has our first beautiful creation fared?”

“Well enough.” Blurr sat with his arms crossed and his legs pulled to his chest. He refused to look at the beast sharing the space with him, and instead kept his gaze on the wall.

“Why are you sitting so far away from me, my dear?”

Blurr scowled “Because every time we get reunited you manage to knock me up,” growled the speedster, scooting a bit further away, “I’d rather not return to Cybertron with another _sparkling._ ”

“I doubt we will engage in any interface while stuck in such a dire situation.”

“With you it is entirely unpredictable.”

“I can assure you I will make no attempt to invade your personal space. I am well aware of the barriers you have put up since my leave.”

“Those never stopped you before.”

Shockwave could make no argument.

 

* * *

 

 

Lightwave made great attempts to push the boulder off of her leg. She pushed through the pain, and lifted through the stinging until the sparks of a cracked chassis and damaged internal wiring rose to the surface as the stone was lifted away. Lightwave suddenly found herself against a wall that hadn’t been there a moment ago. The way from which she’d come was now blocked by a thick layer of rock, but the way she was heading seemed free from debris.

After a moment of trying to absorbe the situation Lightwave heard quick ped-steps rushing down the corridor beside her. Her first assumption was that it was her Carrier, and when a blue body emerged from a hallway down a ways Lightwave was _sure_ it was her Carrier. That was, until the other came closer and Lightwave soon learned that these caves were not as abandoned as she’d been lead to believe.

When Blue finally reached the femme he was ecstatic at this opportunity to fight a real enemy. Of course, though, he didn’t show this enthusiasm. Instead he pointed a sword in the face of his already downed opponent “You are trespassing within a Decepticon Facility, state your business, and designation so that we can file the proper report when we take you into custody.”

After a moment of giving him a blank stare Lightwave scoffed at the blade and shoved it away from her face “Yeah, okay kid, why don’t you put your toys away, sharp things aren’t for kiddy’s to play with.”

Blue was taken aback by the response, but quickly took on a more serious stature, putting his sword in her face again. “I know how to use this “toy,” which is more than I can say for you _Autobot.”_

Lightwave scoffed into a laugh “Okay, and what are you? A miniature Decepticon who spent too much time in the sun?”

“Your petty insults don’t phase me.”

Before Blue could make a move Lightwave moved forward and took the hand of her opponent. She slipped it behind her back, taking a stance on her one good leg she stood before the smaller mech, now with a gun to his head “I’ve got toys too, sparkling.”

“I’m no sparkling.”

Lightwave felt something sharp press against her side, “And it looks like you’re eyes are in just a bad shape as your leg.”

Lightwave scowled, “I could shoot you in the spark before your tiny processor could think of where to cut me,” she threatened.

Blue removed his weapon, “I’d take you on that offer, but I don’t fight unfit opponents. It’s not honorable.”

Both released their grips at the same time, causing Lightwave to fall back into a seated position against the newly formed wall. “Honorable?” she questioned, raising an optic ridge “Since when have the Decepticons cared about honor?”

“The Decepticons have always held honor on high accord. You Autobots are the savages in this war, and you remain too weak minded and blinded by propaganda to see the error of your ways.”

Lightwave’s scowl returned “We aren’t the ones willing to slaughter millions of innocent lives across the galaxy, just for the sake of energy and land.”

To this Blue let out a loud stiff “HA!” he quickly caught himself and quieted down at once, “I see that this point can’t be argued between us. You are not going to change your mind, and I am not going to change mine. What we should really work on is getting out of this mess.”

“ _We?”_ questioned Lightwave, “But, you’re a Decepticon…”

“And? That does not change the fact that if I leave you here we will never get to battle.” As he spoke Blue turned to watch the hall, putting his back to the injured Lightwave.

“You want to _fight_ me?”

“Of course. I started a challenge so I’m going to finish it. Once we’ve escaped, and I find my Sire- Colleague…And you escape on whatever Autobot ship is waiting for you above, I Will find you, and I will fight you once you are fully healed.”

Lightwave smirked “Look at you, so small and serious. Once we get out of here you and I are probably never going to see each other again. What is someone so young doing _here_ anyways? I mean, I get that you’re a Decepticon and all, but you’re, what? Five?”

“Ten.” Blue growled “And I’m also ten times more mature than you are at whatever age you happen to be.”

Lightwave had nothing to say to that so she decided to end the conversation. There was no reason for her to argue with the pint sized maniacal master of swords. Instead she attempted to make conversation, hoping it may develop into a plan of some sort to help them find her Carrier and get out.

“So,” she started, “Who are you here with?”

“How do you know I’m not here by myself?”

“You’re ten years old and you already mentioned that you were here with someone.”

Blur stiffened with embarrassment. He’d never met an Autobot before. His training didn’t prepare him for their witty and immature nature. This femme was clearly playing mind games with him, and Blue would not have it. He turned quickly to face the downed femme and, for the first time since their meeting, noticed her color scheme and size. Though she, only a moment ago, had stood above him, at this time Blue finally took a moment to study her, the words he’d had planned catching in his throat. The stiffness in his chassis eased as he looked over her “You’re not much of an Autobot yourself I must say.” He commented “You are very…Purple…and large.”

Lightwave scowled. She brought her good leg up to rest her arm on the knee before countering the little mech’s comment “It came with the Sire. I can say the same for you Periwinkle.”

“It’s teal,” Blue growled, “And I know. You already pointed it out with your childish comment on my size and color. I’ll have you know my Sire tells me that this color and size is very useful within the Decepticon spy division. It will help me infiltrate and spy on you Autobots.”

Lightwave held an amused, yet somewhat confused, expression “Okay, I’ll just be sure to look out for you, Periwinkle. Probably not your best move to tell me that, but, hey, thanks a lot. I’ll start putting up the wanted signs as soon as I get home.” The tone came close to being sarcastic, with Lightwave having little confidence that the small mech would be getting any big spy missions any time soon.

Blue stiffened again. What was wrong with him!? He’d been with this femme for what was probably less than ten minutes and already he’d made significant blunders in intimidating her and lowering her guard or self-reliance. Blue was well aware that if his Sire were there he’d get a great scolding. Or maybe not even! Shockwave may find his disgraceful actions unworthy of any words. The mere thought of such an outcome made the young mech’s head hurt. He pushed on.

“Well—“ Blue had nothing to say, but he refused to let her get the last word, “Well…I’m not supposed to be talking to an Autobot! I’m going to go scout the cave.” Blue could feel the childish tone of that entire statement, and he could not help but mentally punish himself for it. He was supposed to a great Decepticon, with the ability to manipulate and control, and counter any mind game or mental obstacle that got in his way. He was not supposed to act like some child, upset over being proven wrong for the fourth time over, and unable to find a solution to his own problem. As he began walking down the hall he took a look at his hands and moved his fingers, tapping each tip on his gray palms.

He was a child.

He was a sparkling, he was young, and unwise, and he was not as acutely aware of things as he wanted to be. As he was supposed to be. He put on this tough facade to impress the higher ups, but when in battle Blue didn’t know if he could complete what he was trained to do. He’d put this shell around himself what felt like years ago, and now the shell is cracking.

 

* * *

 

 

Neither spoke.

Mostly because neither had anything to say.

But also because whatever the pair had to say, it was too late to do any good now.

“No one was supposed to be here.” Blurr repeated after a few moment of silence, “This was supposed to be abandoned.” Blurr’s tone fell into something almost accusatory, as if this meeting was not as by chance as Blurr was told.

“I was told the same.” Shockwave said, shifting his legs into a more comfortable position, “I was assigned to this base with the intention of restoring it. No one was supposed to be aware of it’s existence. Of course, of all the Autobots I would expect to be observant enough to spot it, it is no surprise that you are the one to do it. You have always been very good at sifting out the things that aren’t supposed to be found.”

Blurr scowled “Is that supposed to be some kind of cruel joke?”

“Of a sort, yes. This is not the first time you’ve gotten yourself into a less than desirable situation by wondering into business you should not know exists.”

“I know!” Blurr snapped, finally twisting his head to look at Shockwave.

Shockwave backed down for a moment. He knew that it was unwise to anger his former lover, especially while they are stuck in such a claustrophobic space. Blurr was restless, even a blind mech could see it. He tapped his foot and finger as quickly as the laws of physics allowed. He twitched and flicked his restless fingers aimlessly against the wall, careful not to flick too hard.

“We cannot just sit here and wait to die.” Shockwave announced, looking around the cave.

“What do you suggest then?” Blurr countered, aggravated, “We don’t have any tools, and the stability of this entire facility has been compromised. If we move a single rock it’s entirely possibly the whole cavern will come crashing down on top of us.”

“I suppose it is possible. However, it is also possible that removing the correct rocks in the right order will break us out of this stony prison.”

“Oh yeah? And how are you going to figure that out?”

“Are you truly underestimating me, my dear? I’ve deciphered tougher problems than this, as well as achieved more impossible things. It will just take some time.”

Blurr waved his hand at the mech, now standing beside him and studying the wall of fallen rock.

“Knock yourself out. I’ll be here.”

Shockwave felt around the wall, careful not to move any of the stones. As he did he continued to speak with Blurr, “How did Lightwave take my leave?”

Blurr scowled, “She blamed me…Then she blamed you. She misses you, by the way…still.”

“It is to be expected. While your bond is strong she still remains attached to me as well.”

“I tried extremely hard to make her hate you. Neither of us would buy into it. She’s smart enough to know better.”

“Is she intelligent enough to realize that her Sire is a Decepticon?”

“I don’t know…Probably.”

“I am not so sure. She has always seemed like an intelligent child, however remained blind to things that were placed right in front of her. Mostly to things she did not _want_ to see.”

“That’s a fault we all have. Everyone except you, maybe, you seem to catch everything before it even exists for you to know about.”

“I am not that astute.”

“It was more of a joke than anything.”

The space fell silent once more. It remained that was until Shockwave spoke once again, “I am sorry.” He apologized, finally catching Blurr’s gaze. The tank continued, “I have to apologize for what I have done to you. I must apologize for leaving you, and inherently driving you to the unhealthy behavior you ensued in the years that followed. I will say, however, that I had no choice.”

With every passing word Blurr’s anger boiled closer to the surface. How could this beast apologize!? And now, of all times, when they are again stuck together, with no sign of rescue in sight. What in Shockwave’s mind made him think it was a good idea to bring up these issues _now._ With the combination of stress and restlessness riding through Blurr, he could not help but break under the pressure that was unintentionally shoved on him.

Blurr stood up quickly, pointing a sharp finger at the tank “You left us!” he cried, “You left _me!_ Don’t you _dare_ try and apologize now! Not Now! Not here! This should have never happened! _None_ of this should have _ever happened!_ ” Blurr felt the coolant slip silently past his eyes, but made no attempt to stop it, “I should not be trapped here with you, our two sparkling should not be wandering aimlessly thought this _fragging cave_ , or _dead_ , or whatever they are! And you should _never_ have come back! You should have never come back to me, and when you did, you should have _KILLED ME!!”_

Shockwave caught his mate as Blurr fell to his knees. The tank listened as Blurr repeated softly, “You should have killed me,” through the thick mist of his ever flowing tears.

“I was going to.” Shockwave said softly, holding his mate close. He felt Blurr stiffen, and continued, “That was my original plan…” Shockwave trailed off, looking for the right words to say, “But—when I looked, and I saw what we had created…and I felt the devotion to the little thing erupt in your spark I could not. I was going to get rid of the both of you. That was the original plan. Now I cannot comprehend a life without you in it…It is bothersome, I must tell you, but to feel your sparks within mine, it is almost-” again Shockwave waited. He needed the perfect word to describe the small flutter of life that remained present within his otherwise cold spark, “Liberating,” he sighed, almost as though he was in a daze, overcome by the love he shared for this creature in his arms, as well as the other two creatures they had wondering aimlessly through the caverns below. Shockwave came to sit on his knees, bringing the bot he held with him.

This time Blurr made no attempt to escape the embrace. He took comfort in the strong arms that held him, and wished, for one moment that this was the way he could stay. “Why did it have to be you?” Blurr whispered, “Of all the bots, on all of the worlds, why did it have to be _me.”_

“Those are questions I am unable to answer.” Shockwave said quietly, “And I see no reason for you to ask them. Everything that has happened has happened. There is no going back now.”

Blurr took in a deep strained breath as the coolant slowed down, “Shockwave,” he breathed, lifting his head from the large mechs chest. He leaned up and took Shockwaves face plate into a deep, passionate kiss, “Shockwave,” he sighed again, releasing his lips for a moment, “I missed you.” He confessed, finally admitting it to himself, and the mech that held him, “Please take me, Please,” he delivered pecks all around the Decepticons face plate until the claws tightened around his waist and he was leaned down to rest in the dirt, “As you wish, my dear.” Shockwave whispered, over taking his desperate partner for the very last time.

 

* * *

 

 

“You want me—to drag you.” Blue sated again, raising an optic ridge at the still injured Lightwave, “I am smaller that you.” Blue stated. He had returned from scouting the area, and found that many of the caves openings in their sector had gone unaffected by the sudden collapse. Blue figured that the cave system, with it’s complexity, must have more than one way to get around. It also meant that, in all likelihood, at least one of the entrances in their sector remained open and unharmed. In telling this to his new found Colleague Lightwave suggested they get a move on. That, however, seemed impossible for the Autobot laying injured against the barrier, “Just use your alt mode,” Blue suggested, seeing no reason for him to put any work into transporting this femme.

“Uh, hey little genius, don’t you think I’ve thought of that? I can’t, my legs are a vital part of my transformation. If one of them is out, I’m out. If It was a simple broken servo it would be a different story.”

Blue half scowled, “Why don’t I just find my Sire, then come back and get you.”

“Because if you leave it is very possible you and I will never see each other again. These caves are full of twists and turns, and in order to get back to where you came from you’ll need me.”

“Why would I need to come back here if I already have you?”

Lightwave realized her speaking error but found it too late to correct, “Scratch that,” she started, “And think of this. You already got yourself lost in here once, if you really want to free me so you can fight me later in life, then you’re going to have to remember the way back. Which you, Periwinkle, are not capable of doing.”

“How would you know I was lost?” Blue asked, suddenly becoming somewhat more suspicious of this purple character.

Lightwave shrugged, “I don’t know, I just—Knew? It’s not like you were making a great deal of effort to hide your-- That doesn’t matter! What matters is getting out of here, which you can do with my help.”

“Do you all of a sudden have a plan?”

“Yes, actually, I do, and I just thought of it. This colleague of yours is your Sire, right?”

“That is correct.”

“Great, now think of this. Sire’s and Carriers and Sparklings are supposed to share this inexplicable, super strong, permanent bond, right?”

“Stop asking me questions you already know the answer to. Yes, they do, your point?”

“The cave can interfere with out devices, but _nothing_ interferes with the spark. Stop trying to find your own way, and just let the feeling guide you back to your Sire.”

“While I will admit that your idea is very reasonable, even though you are an Autobot, but I have to say there is a major problem with my Sire and I’s bond.”

“Which would be…?”

“The Sire is _nothing_ without it’s mate. The bond my Sire and I share has faded significantly due to my lack of Carrier. My Sire’s mate died, so the attachment between he and I has dwindled to almost nothing. If he were my Carrier it would be an entirely different story, however, he isn’t, so your plan must be deemed invalid.”

“Alright, then we’ll just look for my Colleague. Who happens to be My Carrier.”

“I don’t know if your Carrier would be of any real help in this situation.”

“How do you know your Sire would fair any better?”

“I have great confidence in my Sire’s abilities to solve problems such as this.”

“I have great confidence in my Carrier.”

Blue thought for a moment. It honestly seemed like their only option at the moment. Blue was well aware of his inability to navigate through the caves. If they didn’t find someone soon they would be left with two options. Die of energon deficiency, or die of cave in. Neither of which seemed particularly desirable fates.

“Alright,” Blue agreed, transforming into his temporary alt-mode. In this form he was small, and his shape was not very clear. He almost resembled a tank, but instead of treds he had wheels, hidden mostly by metal flaps. Lightwave climbed on to the small vehicle and told him when she was ready to go.

They sped off into the cave at speeds Lightwave was not expecting, “Slow down, crazy legs!” she called over the engine.

“If you want a ride you’re going my speed, now tell me where to go.” Blue countered.

“Alright, alright, quit your whining. Turn left here!”

After nearly an hour of turning down what seemed like an endless amounts of hallways Blue began to doubt Lightwave’s reliance in this plan.

“Are you sure we’re going in the right direction? We seem to have been traveling for a greater amount of time than I anticipated.”

“Hey, Periwinkle, most of the caves we _could_ go down we _can’t_ go down. I’m doing the best with what I’ve got. If you have a better idea I’d _love_ to hear it.”

Blue fell silent for a moment, looking for a plan of his own. No matter how much he wracked his processor, though, nothing came up. There were no shortcuts without endangering their lives further, and he didn’t have a single clue about the setup of this facility. He didn’t know what connected what to what, or what tunnel lead to which opening, or anything of the sort. The entire space was a blank mystery, and for all he knew they were going in circles. For now he had to have faith in the pesky Autobot grabbing a free ride.

Lost in his own head Blue didn’t catch Lightwave calling, “Turn here!” over and over again, due to his lack of reaction. When Blue finally did catch the words it was too late. When he went to turn he nearly over turned, transforming at the last second and sending Lightwave into a wall of rubble.

Her impact loosened the unstable stone, but luckily for them it did not end up collapsing. The pair waited for the unsettling rumble to stop before either spoke.

Lightwave rubbed her head , kneeling before the rock. She scowled, looking up at Blue who stood straight and unharmed, having landed on his feet after transformation.

“Hey what’s the big idea Periwinkle!? Keep your eyes on the road!” Lightwave called, standing on her good leg and taking a limp over to her much smaller colleague, “I’m trying to get us out of here, keep your head in the game, small fry. We don’t have time for you to doze off.”

Blue shoved a finger at her chest, “ _You_ have no jurisdiction over how I drive, considering _I’m_ the only one here who can keep you moving. Maybe if you’d given me better instruction, or called the turn sooner this wouldn’t have happened to you.”

“I called the turn, Periwinkle! It’s not my fault you’re stuck in your itty bitty head. And for your information, I _can_ get around on my own, even if I have to crawl. It’s _you_ who would be lost without _me_.” Lightwave waved a hand in his face and slapped away the accusing finger, “You do your thing Periwinkle, I’m out.” She turned to leave, but didn’t get far before A small weight hopped onto her back.

“Hey!” she called, reaching back in an attempt to remove the parasite.

“For one thing,” Blue grunted, planting his feet on her back and pulling her arms back until they became immobile, “My name is _not_ Periwinkle. It’s none of your business what my name is, the only thing we should know each other right now is that You need me, and I need you.”

Lightwave struggled to remove herself from the surprisingly strong grip. She found herself in half a back bend with little peds pushing painfully into her back. She felt entirely immobile, almost helpless against the tiny grip of the mini Decepticon.

“You’re not going anywhere without _me.”_ Blue growled.

“You wanna bet, Periwinkle.” Lightwave grunted against the pain. Before Blue could react Lightwave released the loose footing she had on the ground, and threw all of her weight onto her back. Blue momentarily went into shock, giving Lightwave enough time to hop back on her foot and slam the small nuisance on her back into the wall.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Periwinkle, and I especially don’t want to cause a cave in. I will, however, if you don’t let go of me and transform so that we can get back on our way and forget this whole mess ever existed.”

After a moment Blue released. He fell to the cave floor with a new found head ach. Lightwave stood as proudly as she could with one legs, “I know you think we Autobots have got nothing on your kind, Periwinkle, but let’s get one thing straight. I mastered every move there was while you were still a _protoform_. I know more about the ins and outs of Decepticon bases you don’t even know exist.” She took the boy by the shoulder and shoved him against the wall, “Right now I’m being _nice._ So let’s not take my kindness for granite. You’re right; we Autobots _aren’t_ as honorable as you Decepticons. We shoot to kill.” She placed her cocked gun in the middle of Blue’s forehead, “And I’m ready to kill. You’re lucky I need, you, Periwinkle.” She removed the gun and put it back in it’s slot one her hip. She stood up straight and put a hand out, “And by the way, the name’s Lightwave. I’m not afraid to share mine.”

Blue took the hand and allowed the larger bot to lift him back on his feet.

“Now that that’s over, let’s continue.” Lightwave suggested, then waiting for her colleague to transform. Blue complied quickly, and allowed Lightwave to climb on.

With that they continued on their way, the only words shared between them being instructions.

 

* * *

 

Shockwave pulled out and retracted his spike while Blurr continued to come down from the last overload.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Blurr panted, feeling almost ashamed of himself. How could he be so weak? It was just like before, just like the years prior when he gave himself to Shockwave out of what seemed like pure desperation. He gave in willingly, and stayed still to let Shockwave use him. Blurr was disgusted with himself, but still couldn’t not help but find comfort in the fullness he had felt when they were interfacing, or the safety being under Shockwave harbored. He’d missed the great claws grazing his body, and he’d missed the sweet nothings Shockwave whispered when Blurr was at his most vulnerable.

Blurr hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed all of those things until he felt his valve cover click open without a single flinch of resistance. He hadn’t realized it until the deep peaceful voice sent shivers through his spinal strut, and the cold flat face plate was pressed into his lips.

It was over though.

They had taken their time, and afterwards moved back to their own side of the space. Blurr squeezed himself into the corner and refused to turn his head up and look at the beast who had just claimed him once again. Blurr was weak to the manipulative nature of his mate.

“I never want it to go away.” Blurr whispered, half hoping Shockwave would hear him.

“What?” asked Shockwave, though he already had an assumption.

“The bond.” Blurr answered blankly, “I had the option. I could have gotten you taken out…But it would have taken them out too, and I didn’t want to do that…I couldn’t do that.”

“Spark bonds are not an easy thing to let go.”

“It was supposed to be easier because it’s _you,_ Inever wanted you, I wanted Longarm. I fell in with Longarm, not a Decepticon.” Blurr’s voice cracked at the end. His face contorted in an attempt to hold back tears. For so many years Blurr covered himself in this shell, trying to keep himself upright, trying to keep his family together, and keep Lightwave young while she could be young. He’d held back so many tears, and so much pain, and kept so many secrets and told so many lies, that now, as he rested trapped in a cave with the one person who had always been able to draw his emotions to the surface, Blurr could feel the hard shell cracking. He tried to glue it back together with every tear that soaked through, but it was no use. There was nothing he could do, no high grade he could drown himself in or open space where he could run for as long as it took, or scream as loud as it takes to get the stress out, or throw the pain away.

Blurr felt as though he was suffocating. There was nowhere to go, and even if there was he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go there anymore. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go _anywhere_ any more.

No one was supposed to be in the cave, especially Shockwave. Blurr would rather be fighting Blitzwing, or Starscream, or even Megatron, than be stuck for a prolonged amount of time with his former mate, and the most effective mental manipulator in the galaxy.

Blurr prayed to Primus that he fall into a stasis sleep from lack of energon.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, Lightwave is an interesting name.” Said Blue flatly, trying to end the overwhelming silence that had befell them.

“Thanks.”

“Where did it come from?”

“I’m not too great a small talk, Periwinkle, keep your mind on the task at hand.”

“I’m acute enough to talk and drive. If I’m going to be hauling you around I may as well learn a little about you. I know you won’t tell me anything major.”

“Alright, fine, if you’re so keen on making friends. If you must know my name is a combination of My Sire’s name and my Carrier’s favorite thing. Those I won’t tell you. It’s kind of funny how that works, actually, because my Carrier and Sire didn’t seem to like each other much.”

“How can you exist if your creators didn’t like each other?”

“…Crazier things have happened I’m sure.” Lightwave’s voice fell low, and she didn’t feel like saying much more on the subject. Instead she turned the tables on him, “What about you, Periwinkle, you said your Carrier was dead?”

“Yes. My Sire speaks highly of him…I never met him. I will tell you that he is the origin of my speed, however, but that is all I will give you.”

“Huh…My Sire gave me my size…and my color. I have speed from my Carrier too, you know, but I can’t use it because of my size. I’d hurt myself.”

“Too bad for you I suppose.”

“Yeah…it was kind of a disappointing thing to hear- turn here- I was set on being like my Carrier, but I ended up more like my good for nothing Sire.”

“Apparently he was good for one thing. Why is your Sire, as you say, “good for nothing”?”

“He kind of abandoned me and my Carrier. Who in the name of primus does that?”

“I low life Sire apparently.”

Lightwave half scoffed, “yeah, apparently-” Lightwave suddenly stopped herself, a strange feeling having fallen over her. “Stop,” she demanded, “I think…” she trailed off as Blue slowed down. She carefully climbed off and he went back to his robot form. Lightwave felt a strange sense of Deja vu wash over her.

“What?” asked the small Decepticon, watching as the Autobot kept her eyes on the ceiling. After a moment she looked at him, and pointed down the hall, “Down there, go see if there’s a wall.”

Blue complied without further instruction and returned a moment later with confirmation that there was, in fact, a wall, but not one carved by the original founders. It was yet another wall of rubble.

“It’s a dead end,” Blue growled, “There are no tunnels to turn into, it’s just a straight shot to nowhere.” He pointed an angry servo at the purple femme, “I _knew_ I shouldn’t have trusted this ridiculous plan of yours.”

Lightwave scowled, slapping his hand away once again, “hey, you agreed with me that this would work, and it did…just not the way I had intended.”

“Worked!? You’re telling me your plan worked!? How is _this_ something that worked!?” Blue had had enough of this mission, and for the first time in years he was on the brink of breaking down. He didn’t want to be stuffed in this gas filled, foul smelling cave, with dim lights and red walls. He didn’t want to be stuck down here with this ridiculously large, unruly, immature, overly witty Autobot. He had had _enough._

“This was my first mission! There was supposed to be _nothing_ here, these caves were supposed to be _empty._ But no, here you are, you and your little guns, and your stupid, immature comments about my size and my color, which, by the way is **_NOT PERIWINKLE!”_** The small Decepticon raged, and Lightwave let him do it. Blue continued, “I am Teal! _Teal_ , my color is **_Teal_** , and my Name is _Blue_ , not _Periwinkle_ , or anything else you’ve been calling me! All I’ve ever tried to do was impress my stupid Sire, I’m here so I can show him that I can _do_ something, but I can’t do _anything_ , apparently, if I can’t even get past someone like you, then I _mus_ t be nothing. If I can’t handle a task as simple as walking around and making sure no one was here-!” Blue suddenly felt weak. He fell to his hand and knees. He picked up a hand full of red dust and let it slip from his fingers, “I was supposed to be able to do this,” he whispered, “I’m still so _weak_.”

For a moment Lightwave let him cool off. She crossed her arms and was tempted to tap her foot, but she had no foot to tap. When Blue appeared as though he had finished completely she spoke, “Are you done?”

Blue whipped his head up to look at her, his face holding something similar to confusion. Lightwave continued, “Because, I mean, I loved the bleeding spark session, but I think that we should get out of here, don’t you?”

“Get out--?” Blue breathed, his features bending with further confusion.

Lightwave pointed to the ceiling. Blue followed the finger to a large metal door implanted in the ground above.

“I’ll boost you up, you help me up, get it?” Lightwave’s tone had softened significantly. Blue stood up hesitantly, and stepped onto her presented hands. Lightwave carefully lifted the little bot up, his weight having no effect on her. It was like lifting almost nothing.

Blue balanced on her hands with no problem. He pushed the thick door open, with a bit more effort, and climbed through. When he was safely through Lightwave leaped through the opening and grabbed hold to the ledge. Blue took hold of her wrist and made an attempt to help her up. When both were safely through Blue closed the door and looked around the empty planet. He scanned the area for a moment before pointing to a cliff off in the distance, “That cliff harbors the entrance to the main facility. It should be where my Sire still is. If anything he’s trapped, but he’s still alive.”

“So is my Carrier…He’s over in that direction. Looks like we may kill two birds with one stone.”

“…What?”

Lightwave waved it off, “It’s an earth phrase. It means do two things at once, pretty much.” Lightwave examined the distance of the cliff, “I think that’s too far to go in my condition. My ship is about a mile in that direction.” She gestured in the opposite direction, “That cliff is halfway across the planet. To save time I suggest we make our way to my ship. We can fly to the cave, and on the way I can fix myself up temporarily.” Lightwave turned in the direction she wanted to go.

“You’re not a medic.” Blue claimed, slightly confused at her insistence upon fixing herself.

Lightwave, for a moment, feared that if she said more she’d reveal too much about herself, “I—grew up around a lot of different kinds of bots. Now come on. I can’t get there myself.”

Blue was thrown off by Lightwave’s sudden hesitance. He made no comment, however, and instead transformed and let her climb on once more.

Once they reached the ship Lightwave was prepared to shut down the security system, assuming it would detect the little bots Decepticon energy signature and attempt to neutralize the potential threat. Nothing happened, though, when Blue stepped on board.

“Hm,” Lightwave shrugged, “well that’s unusual,” she mumbled to herself, activating the lights on the ship. “Just sit down in one of the pilots seats, I’ll be right back.”

Blue didn’t take a seat right away. He felt strange standing in an Autobot ship and not being a prisoner.

In the small med bay Lightwave contemplated the decisions she’d made thus far. She had put her life in the hands of a Decepticon, and had agreed, somewhere along the way, to help him find his Sire and get off this planet. As far as she knew there was nothing to be gained by this. She was outside of the cave now, her tracking and communication devices were online, she could lock the kid up in the haul and call in for backup. She could be behind the capture of some nameless Decepticon and his kid.

Or she could help a lost confused little sparkling just looking for his Sire at this point.

Her loyalty was swayed. She was a soldier coming from an intelligence agent. At this point it wasn’t her job to take prisoners. It was her duty, though, to report and halt any Decepticon activity. If she let these two go the penalty could be on her head if anyone found out. She wasn’t going to let her Carrier’s approval slip away for the sake for a couple of Decepticons.

She flipped open her portable communicator and put in a request for back up. When she went to send it through her finger froze. Her spark pumped at an extraordinary rate and sent small sparks throughout her body. When she finally willed herself to send the request it felt as though her Spark was fighting her with all it’s might. It died down when the request made it through, and she couldn’t help but think she may have made a mistake. When one’s spark is speaking so loudly, it is generally wise to listen.

 

* * *

 

 

Blue fiddled with the controls but was careful not to alter anything major. “Hey!” Lightwave called, coming up behind him. She grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from the control board, “Hands off the controls.” She demanded, taking her seat in the main pilot’s chair. She switched on the ship and checked all the settings. In truth she’d only flown a ship once, and it was in wide open space where she couldn’t have possible hit anything, so Lightwave was really playing it by ear as she rose up and drove the small ship towards the large rock in the distance.

Driving something with her feet off the ground was a much different experience than driving herself.

Blue detected the somewhat hesitant and shaky nature Lightwave had turned on, and noticed that they weren’t going very quickly.

“Do you know how to fly this?” Blue asked, looking to the pilot.

Lightwave practically jumped, “What? Yes, of course I do, I’m a trained Autobot soldier, I can fly this—ship, this, carrier, whatever it is.”

Blue glanced out the window then back to her, “Lightwave, we’re barely moving. Why don’t you let me drive?”

“You? You’re five stellar cycles, no way.”

“I’m ten, and I’ve been trained to pilot every Decepticon vehicle in the arsenal, I’m sure a simple recon ship will be no problem.”

“No, I’ve got this. Decepticons can’t fly Autobot ships anyways, their programed to detect Decepticon energy signatures and shut down completely if you even _think_ of touching the controls.”

“I was just touching them and nothing happened.”

Now Lightwave felt like the one being defeated. “Well it was _off_ then, and now it’s on. So _don’t touch anything.”_

Blue sighed, annoyed, “This is ridiculous, just let me drive.”

“No!” Lightwave leaned away as Blue tried to take the wheel, “You’re on my turf now, teal boy, and you are _not_ taking control of this ship!”

“You’re acting like a sparkling! Just give me the controls! You’re going to make us crash!”

“If anything you’re the one who will make us crash!”

“Ugh! Why are Autobots so stubborn!”

“Why are Decepticons so thick headed!”

As they argued, going back and forth and attempting to shove each other aside, Lightwave kept a mighty grip on the steering wheel, sending the ship twisting and flying all over the place in a highly irregular manor.

Lightwave pressed her foot against the insistent Blue’s face in an attempt to keep his grabby little hands away while she kept hold of the wheel, “Will you cut it out, I am trying to drive!” she spit out choppily through the struggle. “Sit back down you little pest, I’m doing you a favor!” she managed to push him away entirely and return the ship to a steady course.

Blue rubbed his head and adjusted himself in the seat. He crossed his arms, pouting, and dissatisfied by the results of the argument. After that Lightwave sped up to a normal speed, having grown new confidence in her abilities.

Neither said a word for the rest of the journey, and they continued the silence as they touched down and exited.

They landed on the top of the cliff where Blue had said he’d entered from.

“So where’s the entrance?” asked Lightwave, climbing out after him.

“It should be right over here,” called the smaller bot, leading the way to another metal door in the ground, this one being much larger than the last. The entrance had two doors.

“Help me open it,” Blue requested, taking one handle while Lightwave took the other. They managed to pry the doors open and found themselves looking into a sea of unsettled dust leading into a deep hole of darkness. Lightwave looked to Blue, “Ladies first.” she said, as if it were obvious that Blue was to step in before her. Blue put on a light scowl before taking a step into the facility and making his way down the metal steps. Lightwave followed.

Their eyes illuminated the space just enough for both to see a few feet in front of them, “Aren’t there supposed to be some lanterns down here or something?” Lightwave inquired, slightly thrown off by the thick darkness.

“There are…” Blue replied, trailing off, “They must have gone down when the cave did.”

Lightwave took a moment to think, “Don’t you think this whole thing is a bit ironic?”

“I see no Irony in this.”

“An Autobot, a Decepticon, you being here the same time I was here and now we have to rely on each other to get around. Plus we already left the cave, but we’re diving right back in just to save our parents. And we both came with our creators!”

Blue took a moment to think of the appropriate reply to that statement, “I’m sure stranger things have happened.”

Lightwave was taken aback for a moment before regaining herself and letting out a sneer, “Not funny.” She grumbled.

“…I thought it was funny.”

 

* * *

 

  

Shockwave suddenly stood up, after having not moved for nearly two hours. He made his way to the wall that blocked them from the space bridge base and put a hand to it. He placed a sharp claw on his chest and felt his spark stirring with anticipation. “It appears as though they have found each other.” Shockwave said softly, just loud enough for Blurr to hear.

“What?” asked Blurr, standing up and joining his former mate against the wall, “Shockwave, what are you talking about? Who found who?”

“Our creations, they have been reunited.”

Blurr stood almost shocked for a moment, then let out a small noise, dismissing Shockwave’s claim, “Impossible! The likelihood of those two ending up out there with each other and heading this way, from _that_ direction is-”

“I understand the likelihood, Blurr, I’ve already calculated it myself, but I am telling you they are _together.”_

Blurr brushed the Decepticon off, “You’re delusional.” He grumbled, turning his back on the tank. Before he was able to walk away Shockwave grabbed him fiercely by the shoulder and pulled him back to the wall, “You are the Carrier, Blurr, you should be having this feeling on a much greater level than I.” Shockwave’s tone grew intense, with a bit of rage building with every word, “Open your spark and pay attention to your child for once, instead of moping around and thinking about things _past_.”

Blurr scowled, “Don’t you touch me!” he cried, tugging away from Shockwave’s grip, “All I did was take care for those sparklings and where were you! You were off at some Decepticon secret base, or waiting in bed for me to pleasure you! You manipulated me you stupid fragger, and you can’t say a damn thing about those babies, I raised that femme all on my own. Don’t you dare try to tell me I don’t care about them! What right do you have when you left us, when you abandoned us, and manipulated us, and mocked us!”

Shockwave went to touch him again, but Blur slapped the hand away so fast it would make a head spin. He kept full eye contact with the beast above him, and kept on a steady face of rage and judgement, “You don’t get to tell me anything about them. You don’t get to tell me Anything about my spark. I don’t care how low on energy you get, I don’t care how angry you get, I don’t care how stressed you feel. I expect more from you, Shockwave, you know what you did. You know exactly what you did, and you know what I did to deal with it.” His tone had lightened significantly, keeping a deep intenseness about it. His stare had turned Shockwave to stone, taking him down a couple pegs.

“I am…Sorry.” Shockwave apologized, “My behavior in that moment was not well thought out. I am simply…worried.” He took a moment to concentrate on Blurr, “I am just concerned for their safety. I am also worried that you may not take Blue if you two are to meet.”

Blurr scoffed, annoyed, “Why are you so _set_ on this? I already told you, it would be too difficult.”

Shockwave flew forward, grabbing Blurr by the shoulders before he had time to react. His bright red optic blinded the two much smaller ones, “Blurr, I am very close to begging you now. Take Blue with you. Take him when you leave and do not ever let him return to me. Do not even let him _remember_ me, do whatever it takes to keep him with you, to keep him safe.” Shockwave shook the smaller bot desperately.

Blurr pulled out of his grip again and took a step back.

“Shockwave.” Blurr whispered, “I already told you-”

“Blurr, my darling, my dear, my love, if I am to make one more request, one last request before we are to part forever, it is this. You have lied enough. What is one more?”

Blurr furrowed his brow, already creating a lie in his head to tell when he returned with an extra body.

“Fine.” He agreed, “If we make it out of here…I’ll take Blue with me.”

 

* * *

 

  

When the pair reached the entrance to the facility they found it entirely blocked by fallen rock.

“Well this was a waste of time.” Lightwave said, annoyed, “I suggest we just head back up and dig them out, we can’t get through this, not without endangering your Sire further.”

Lightwave began heading back up the stairs, but stopped when she found no one following. She looked back to Blue and found the mech in what seemed like a trance, “Uh, Teal boy, time to get a move on we don’t have all lunar cycle.”

“No,” Blue said quietly, his optics locked onto the wall.

“What?” asked Lightwave confused, taking a couple steps down, “Blue, lets go, we’re wasting time.”

“No, no, this- this is the way in. The only way in. They’re somewhere behind this wall.”

“Two tons of rubble are behind that wall too! If we try to go through that way they’re dead.”

“No,” Blue’s trance like state seemed to be dwindling but his voice remained distant, “No, no,” his tone fell back to reality as a great instinct hit him hard. He pointed to the wall, and leaped to the base of it, “This is it, this is the way in, we have to go this way.” He began shoving rocks out of the way, and pulling boulders out of their holes. Lightwave grabbed his shoulder and tried to pull him away, “Blue! Blue!” she called, finally getting a good grip on him and turning the mech to face her, “Are you crazy!? The whole thing could come down!”

“Lightwave, I know you’re skeptical, but if you’re going to trust me on one thing, one single thing, trust me on _this_.”

After a moment of skeptical consideration Lghtwave let him go, “Alright,” she breathed, “Lead the way teal bot.”

Lightwave helped Blue pull the bounders away from the entrance, “So what’s the plan here, Blue?” Lightwave grunted, shoving the rocks aside, “You’re just going to move these rocks and hope to primus that it gets you somewhere?”

“No,” Blue drew his swords and took a stance before the rock, “Stand back.”

Lightwave steered clear as Blur shoved the sword into the rocky wall. With a certain level of expertize combined with his abnormal speed, Blue managed to cut a perfect hole in the wall, allowing the stability to remain.

Lightwave found her optics wide with surprise, “Well,” she started, stepping forward, “That’s one way to do it. How did you know-”

“I felt it,” the small mech looked at her, the smallest smile creeping onto his lips, “Like you told me to. Now come on, we’ve got creators to save.” Blue dove through the hole, with Lightwave not far behind. She came very close to not quite fitting, but managed to avoid tearing through.

The duo found themselves in the old space bridge facility. An enormous hole in the ceiling let in light, illuminating the destroyed parts of the faulty space bridge. The entire thing had collapsed, causing the caves to collapse with it. Blue looked up at the hole and studied the damage. “We go out lucky,” he claimed, taking a more thorough look around, “We’re lucky the entire cave didn’t collapse. Those tunnels are as deep as this veiling is high, and then some. They go down, and just keep going.” He looked to Lightwave, “Considering the placement of the door in relevance to here I have to guess that the ceilings get thinner the higher you go in the tunnels. We must have been more elevated. That’s why our sector suffered less damage.”

Lightwave took a look around also, but she studied the walls more than the space itself. She kept her eye on the metal lined walls, following the ore, “There’s no support beams in here, are there?” she asked, never taking her eyes off the wall.

“No, I don’t think so. Why”

“That explains a lot then.” She turned to look at the smaller mech, “The walls are filled to the brink with this metal stuff. I’m going to go ahead and guess that this is what the original builders relied on to keep the giant tunnel system in place. Whatever this metal is it’s strong, which explains why some areas were filled in with stone, and some were not.” She pointed to the top of the cave where the light hit, “Look, the metal is more abundant up towards the top. The only place the cave collapsed were stony areas. Which means if our creators are alive then, they’re stuck in a cave full of metal.”

“Okay…what does that mean for us?”

“It means we can remove the rocks without causing harm.” Lightwave put on a wide smile. She rushed to the still open entrance as quickly as she could with a bad leg.

After a moment of studying the walls she determined that the wall blocking their way was safe to cut through.

Blue drew his swords, but waited, “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes. And your Sire should be right through this wall.”

“Yes, but are you positive this won’t cause the entire cave to come crashing down?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I’ve analyzed the outcomes over one hundred times already, I’m telling you _this will_ _work_.”

Blue took a deep breath. He placed his sword to the wall, but hesitated. He took another glance at Lightwave, then went back to the wall. He readjusted his footing, and before taking a slice, turned to look at the femme once more, he gave a stiff nod, “I trust you.” He said, before taking a thick slice out of the thick wall. He made an X mark, causing the rest of the stone to fall away.

The cavern rumbled for a moment as it readjusted itself, but the rumbling soon stopped, and when the dust cleared two bots stood before the juveniles.

“Carrier!” Lightwave called, leaping over the stone and tackling her smaller Carrier in a hug.

Blue simply approached his Sire and saluted. Shockwave, however, was keen on much more. He grabbed his little sparkling and drew him into a tight hug, “Sire,” Blue complained, “You’re embarrassing me.”

“My apologies.” Shockwave let his sparkling go, “Come, we must take out leave.”

Lightwave stood, releasing her Carrier. She was baffle by what she saw, “Sire?” she whispered, confused. She looked to her Carrier for answers, but Blurr told her that all would be explained on the ride home.

Shockwave lead the family out of the cave. He punched a hole big enough for him to get through in the wall from which Lightwave and Blue had entered.

As they walked, Blue constantly looked back, studying the Autobot who had shared the space with his Sire. “Sire?” he asked, looking up at Shockwave, “Why didn’t you just kill the Autobot you were trapped with?”

“There is a great reason for that. One you are going to learn very soon.”

When they reached the top of the stairwell Shockwave put out a hand to help his mate up the last few steps. Blurr subconsciously took the hand, barely realizing what he was doing.

The two children watching looked at each other, confused.

“Sire!” Blue called, “I think it’s time we take out leave. We’ve spent enough time on this planet, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes, my dear, I agree. However, _we_ will not be taking our leave. I am handing you over to your Carrier.”

Blue was taken aback, “Sir, I think those hours you spent in the cave have left you delusional. My Carrier is no longer with us.”

“I realize that this is very sudden, however it is entirely necessary for your protection-”

Blurr stepped in, “Shockwave, no. He won’t understand. If you’re handing him over just give him to me, I’ll explain everything.”

Silently Shockwave agreed. He looked back to the small mech, who was confused, and desperately looking to his Sire for answers. “You are going to leave the planet with Blurr. Do not argue, do not resist, just follow orders.”

Blue looked to Blurr, “An Autobot?” he questioned, then looking back to his Sire, “Did- did I do something wrong?” tears peaked out from under his optics. He took a step closer to his Sire, “A- Am I being handed over to them, did I fail!? Are you ashamed of me? I can do better! I can do better Sire, I swear! I’ll work harder and harder! For you!” Blue fell to his knees at his Sire’s feet, “Everything I do I’ve done for you! All I want is for you to be proud of me! Please Sire, please don’t send me away! I’ll do better, I’ll do better I swear!”

“This is not about that darling, I am trying to protect you.” Shockwave said softly. He knelt down and took the boy into a tight embrace, “I am so very proud of you, Blue. But this—this is never the life you were supposed to have.”

“Well what life was I supposed to have?” Blue cried quietly, no longer able to hold back tears. His voice cracked with despair, and he wished he could have stayed in his Sire’s warm embrace forever.

The moment was cut short, however, when a great gust of air blew a slew of dust in their faces. Everyone locked up and found a large Autobot ship looming above them. Someone on a speaker demanded that all Decepticons must stand down, and surrender, or they would have no choice but to use lethal force.

Shockwave released his son and shoved the small blue bot to his Carrier, “Stay quiet,” he warned, “And do not let them know who’s side you are really on. That is an order, Blue. The last order I will ever give you. From now on, you belong to your Carrier. Be good for him. Listen to him.”

Blue’s face held frightful concern as the large ship touched down and a horde of Autobot troops marched out and pointed their guns at his Sire. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell at the soldiers, and fight them, but he couldn’t. His Sire had told him not to.

And he would not disobey his Sire.

Shockwave went into custody without a fight, knowing fully well that he was outnumbered. Despite his surrender the Autobots still found it necessary to bring the beast to his knees by prodding him with electric staffs until he gave in. The troops put him in stasis cuffs, and dragged him into the ship.

Rodimus emerged from the ship. He approached Burr and took a look around before speaking.

“What happened here?” he asked sternly.

Blurr saluted before answering, “Rodimus Prime sir. Lightwave and I were on a standard intelligence mission collecting information on a supposedly decommissioned Decepticon Space Bridge base hidden underground on this planet. The planet was thought to be abandoned, however when we arrived we discovered that the base was not abandoned, but in the middle of an inspection being completed by Shockwave. We retained radio silence within the facility and watched Shockwave worked until we were discovered and attacked. The battle caused a massive cave in, trapping us all until recently. We managed to call for back up when the ceiling fell apart and we were able to get a signal out to the nearest ship. Which was apparently yours.”

Robimus didn’t catch all of it, but he could sum it up well enough for a report. He averted his eyes to the small blue mech standing before Blurr.

“Who is this?”

“This is a young Autobot the Decepticons kidnapped from one of the colonies and brainwashed. He doesn’t speak, really, but Shockwave was dumb enough to tell us what the intentions of having this young mech with him were.”

“Well…I’m glad you could save him. Now climb aboard, we’ll pick up your ship and give you a ride back to Cybertron.”

Blurr thanked Rodimus for the ride, and demanded his children to follow.

Blue lagged behind with Lightwave. “Lightwave?” he whispered, “Do you know what’s going on?”

“No,” Lightwave whispered, “But I’m sure my Carrier has gotten it all under control. Just follow along, and don’t say a word. It looks like out creators are putting a great deal of effort into protecting you.”

“Yeah…I noticed that too.”

Lightwave, Blurr and Blue were lead into what appeared to be a sitting room within the ship. As soon as they guards were gone Lightwave began asking questions, “Carrier, what’s going on!?”

Blurr scowled at her, “You tell me. I never requested back up. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking you were trapped in a cave and you needed help!”

Blurr stood up, “You disobeyed a direct order, this mission was supposed to retain _radio silence._ That means no backup, no communication, nothing!”

“I was just trying to help!” Lightwave cried, “I thought you would die, what was I supposed to do!?”

“You were supposed to do exactly what you did, but leave out the backup.” Blurr sat back down, “I’m sorry, Lightwave, this—this just didn’t go as planned.”

“I noticed. No part of this mission told me I’d be reunited with my Sire!”

“Hey, I had no control over that, this was complete chance. If you want o complain about that, talk to Primus.” After a moment Blurr stood up and left the room, announcing he was going to check on the prisoner.

As soon as he was gone Lightwave turned to Blue. Before she could say anything he began to speak, keeping his head forward, and arms crossed, “The only plausible time you would have been able to hail for backup was when we were already out of the cave. And the only time you and I were apart was when we reached your ship and you went to take care of your leg.”

“Blue—I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

Blue shot her an intense glare, “We were both supposed to get out of here Lightwave. I trusted you! We were supposed to save our Creators and go our separate ways. But that wasn’t good enough for you was it? You wanted to be the hero, you wanted to prove to _them_ that you were more than just a mistake made by an Autobot and Decepticon!”

“I didn’t know that he was your Sire! If I had, I may have-”

“You probably would have done the exact same thing. Shockwave is just a good for nothing Sire, remember?” Blue leaned back, barely realizing he’d moved at all, “I guess I can’t argue with that any more. It turns out he’s keen on abandoning everything. You, our Carrier, and now me.”

“I think he wants to protect you, Blue, don’t try to twist that into something sinister.”

“I don’t want to. In fact, I want him to be here!” Blue leaned forward again, uncrossing his arms and taking hold of the edge of the seat, “I want to be on a ship going _home._ I’m a Decepticon, Lightwave. They’re going to find out sooner or later, and when they do your Carrier is going to be punished, and you are going to be punished, I might get locked up, and Shockwave- Sire…who even knows where he’ll end up.”

Lightwave fell back in her seat, “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I had no idea that we were—and they. Well, I mean, I knew that Blurr’s mate was Shockwave, but I didn’t know that _you_ were the sparkling he took.”

“The sparkling he took?”

“Yeah. Long story short Shockwave knocked Blurr up, they had another sparkling, and in order to take the burden off of Blurr Shockwave took it with him when he left the planet with the renewed Decepticon force. You are that sparkling.”

Blue lowered his head, “Shockwave told me my Carrier was dead. He told me stories about him, almost every night. The same thing over and over again, or a new story. I guess they must be lies, considering everything else is a lie.”

“No…If Shockwave told you anything about Blurr, it was probably the truth. Shockwave was overwhelmingly in love with Carrier. He probably told you things he didn’t even share with Blurr. Or me. Or anyone. But anything he told you about Carrier was true.”

“How would know?” Blue snapped.

Lightwave half scowled, “Because I was four when he left, kid. I’m the sparkling off an intelligence agent super speedster and one of the smartest bots in the galaxy. I remember them. I remember what they said and how they said it, and I remember what it all means now. I remember the sounds Carrier made when he was interfacing with Shockwave, compared to the ones he made with Rodimus. I remember how Shockwave was always calm and patient with Carrier, because Carrier was stressed, and depressed, and anxious and angry. I remember how Blurr yelled and Shockwave didn’t. I remember how Shockwave held me, and comforted me, and taught me. I remember when you were born, and Shockwave was there, holding Carrier’s hand and letting him scream and swear. I remember how he took care of Carrier after the birth, and I remember when they let me hold you for the first time. And when you fed from Carrier’s breast. And I especially remember when Sire left, and Carrrier destroyed the apartment, screaming that Shockwave bring you back. I remember _everything._ And I remember everything because I have no choice but to remember everything. So when I tell you that Shockwave wasn’t lying. He wasn’t lying.”

Blue stared at her in silence. He had nothing to say to any of that. The only thing he wished, was that _he_ could remember.

 

* * *

 

  

Blurr sat before the force field holding Shockwave at bay. “I cannot say I predicted this.” Shockwave said, staring at the wall, “And I’m sure the outcome will be less than desirable. I have committed many crimes, my dear, but I must say the most heinous act I have ever committed was falling in with you. I destroyed you, and for that I am sorry. I can do nothing to reverse the effects of what I’ve done, and I do not intend to try.”

“I know.”

“And I must tell you, my dear, before we are parted forever, that every time I said I loved you, every time I took you to bed, it was not a lie. I do love you Blurr. On a level in which even I am incapable of comprehending.”

“I don’t greatly care.” Said Blurr quietly, “Our past—well, it’s the past, and I’m generally better at moving forward.” Blurr stood up. He put a hand on the force field, “Though I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss your touch. Or your voice. I Love you Shockwave, but I _can’t_ love you.” Blurr’s voice cracked as his hand slipped away from the force field

“I’ll see you on Cybertron.”

As soon as Blurr was gone Shockwave let out a small sigh,

“Yes, my love, but not for very long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even if you didn't like that chapter too much, the next one will make it all worth it.


	6. Thank you and Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally not going to write a note for this, but, upon finishing this chapter, I have to tell you all that I am getting very emotional. A hard mix of excited and sad to see this story meet it's end. Thank you all for reading, your kudos, your comments, they gave me the fuel I needed to eventually churn this chapter out. 
> 
> I'm just sorry you all had to wait so long, and I ask you now to please not hate me.

Upon returning to Cybertron Blurr, Lightwave, and Blue were all taken to different facilities to be interrogated. Blurr tried to insist that the sparkling, Blue, should remain by his side. Rodimus put the request through to Sentinel who immediately denied it. 

Sentinel still had his doubts about Blurr. Blurr and Shockwave being conveniently reunited and the intelligence agent returning from mission with an apparently “bainwashed” sparkling in tow was too good a chance to pass up for Sentinel. He was going to choke a confession out of Blurr if it was the last thing he did. After that he was going to arrest the blue bot, and put him away forever. 

All he needed was for Blurr to talk. Tell him the real story, full detail, spill his heart out over the interrogation table. He was going to break Blurr. This time Seninal was sure of it. 

What he didn’t know, however, was that it was nearly impossibly to break something that had already been ground into dust. 

Blurr was a shattered version of his former self, and no matter how hard he tried he never managed to find all the piece. As he's reached for them he ground the shards away until there was nothing else left. Blurr was nearly finished living. He had almost nothing to lose. 

So Sentinal could do whatever he wanted. 

Blurr was not going to Budge. 

“STOP LYING TO ME!” Sentinel roared, slamming a fist on the table so hard it left a dent, “There’s no possible way in this universe that you and Shockwave just happened to end up on the same abandoned planet at the same time!!” 

Blurr kept his expression cool. He’d relayed the mission report nearly a dozen times now. He just wasn’t saying what Seninal wanted to hear. Sentinel wanted Blurr to say he’d planned a rendezvous with his former lover and they conspired to run away together until Blurr’s oh-so loyal sparkling, Lightwave, called in for backup. 

Blurr let out a small sigh upon Sentinels outburst. He put a couple fingers to his aching head, “Sentinal, it has been a long, annoyingly eventful day. I can’t relay to you the thoughts of Primus when he fated Shockwave and I to cross paths again, but I assure you, as with every time prior, I had nothing to do with it. Now, may I please go?” 

After a couple of seconds Sentinel scowled. He collected his files from the table. “Okay, Blurr,” he said, much calmer now, “You’re free to go.” Sentinel opened the door and held it for Blurr as the speedster rose from his seat and made his way to the exit. Before Blurr could leave Sentinel spoke, “Oh, and Blurr,” he started, halting Blurr in his tracks, “I hope to see you at the public assembly tomorrow. We’ll be publicly executing that Decepticon you hate so much. It will be quite the spectacle.” 

Blurr kept his eyes fixated on the floor. He didn’t say anything for a moment.

With some internal strain Blurr turned to look at his superior, “I’ll be sure to attend,” he said, then almost immediately looking away and beginning to enter the hall, “It’s about time that fragger got what he deserved.”

Blurr met Lightwave in the hall. He said nothing to her, she followed. 

Blurr then waited for Jazz to emerge with the “brainwashed” sparkling. 

“He says he won’t say a word without you,” Jazz said, presenting the sparkling to Blurr. 

“Nothing?” Blurr inquired, “Nothing about the mission, or if he remembers anything from his Autobot days?”

Jazz shook his head, “Not a word. I’m not supposed to do this but- I think you should take him Blurr. He’s just a kid, after all, and, for whatever reason, he seems to trust you so- I think it’s best he stays with you tonight. We can find him a temporary home in the morning. Plus, Sentinel was never one for kids.”

Blue took a step towards his Carrier with just the smallest push from Jazz. 

“If that’s okay with you, of course. I know you’ve already been through a lot today.” Jazz kept a hand on Blue’s shoulder, ready to take him if Blurr did not want to. 

Blurr thought for a moment. For the sake of effect, “I’ll take him,” he agreed, “He was part of my mission. He is my responsibility.” Blurr took the young bot gently by the shoulder and pulled him to his side, “Thank you,” Blurr said quietly, “For everything.”

Jazz put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Any time, brother. You know I’ll always have your back.”

“I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know.”

Jazz gave Blurr’s shoulder an encouraging pat before suggesting they get home and get some rest. His optics landed on Lightwave’s leg, “You should get that taken care of, little miss. That temporary fix won’t last forever.”

Lightwave looked down at herself, “I’ll stop by the med-bay on the way out,” she said, then putting on a smile, “Not so little anymore.”

Jazz gave a smile, small and sullen, “No, I guess not.” 

Jazz looked over the femme and her Carrier. He was well aware of Sentinels misgivings when it came to Blurr. He knew Blurr was almost required at this point to attend Shockwaves execution. Jazz, personally, found it deplorable. The public execution. To Sentinel it was a show. A show of power, proof, and a message, to anyone who would listen. Which was everyone. But especially to Blurr. Who was forced to listen. 

Blurr deserved better. He’d always deserved better.

The blue speedster thanked Jazz again before collecting his sparklings and heading home. 

 

====================================================================================================================

 

Blue felt strange entering an autobot apartment. It was smaller than any decepticon apartment. Blue was surprised his sire had ever fit in it. The apartment was dark, and it remained that way as he made his way through. The only light came from the city.

Blurr stood in the livingroom for a moment staring out the window. He appeared to be deep in thought. Lightwave stood behind him, studying his action. The way he held his hands behind his back in a tight grip. His hard set optics, and slumped shoulders. The lights of the city illuminated his stoic face, but barely. 

Lightwave chose her words carefully, “Is it true,” she asked, “Are they going to execute my Sire?”

Blurr did not answer immediately. 

“Shockwave’s execution is none of your concern. I suggest you stay as far away from it as you can.”

Lightwave wanted to argue. She wanted to fight her Carrier, tell him she did not want her Sire to be executed. That they should give him a trial, let him rot in prison. She wanted to tell Carrier they could stop it. She could stop it. 

But she couldn’t say that.

Shockwaves guilt was undeniable. He would not rot in a prison cell, he would merely escape as he had done a dozen times before. Shockwave was a cruel mad scientist. He was a powerful danger to more than just the Autobot cause. Maybe Sentinel was right to execute him. Lightwave didn’t know her Sire to be innocent. 

She didn’t know him to be guilty either. 

But it didn’t matter what Lightwave knew. What mattered was what the galaxy knew. The notorious Shockwave would be executed. Everyone would feel a temporary sense of relief upon his death, and Lightwave assumed she’d gain a heavy weight upon the breakdown of her Carrier. What would Blurr become upon his death? They were sparkmates after all, and if Carrier had never recovered from Shockwaves living absence Lightwave could not fathom the blow he would take upon Shockwaves death. 

Blurr turned to her, “Please try to make Blue comfortable during his stay,” he said quietly, taking a few steps towards her. 

“Aren’t you going to talk to him?” asked Lightwave as her Carrier walked past her, “Jazz said he didn’t want to see anyone else.”

Before Blurr could answer another voice rang out, “Yeah,” said Blue, stepping into the room from the kitchen, “Aren’t you going to talk to him?” he practically spat. 

Blurr turned to his sparkling. He let his eyes rest upon the young mech for a moment. He could not believe how he’d grown.

“What do you want to know that you don’t already?” Blurr inquired. 

Blue seemed caught off guard by the question, “W-well,” he tried to regain his footing, “Why did Sire give me to you? Are you really my Carrier? How come you never came after me? I have more than enough questions.”

Blurr approached his sparkling. He kneeled down, setting himself just slightly below the teal bot. Hesitantly Blurr reached his hands up to cup his sparklings face. Blue flinched at first, before accepting the touch.

Blurr’s eyes were wide, as if he was seeing his newborn for the first time. Without warning he took Blue into a tight hug, shocking the sparkling. Blurr wanted to hold the sparkling forever. He was still so young, he still had time. Time. All the time in the world, and Blurr was going to give it to him. He was going to make it possible for his sparkling to grow up and be free. Free from war, free from the Autobot and Decepticon symbols that consumed their species. That is what Blurr wanted for his sparklings. 

He had failed them once. He was not going to do it again. 

Blurr pulled away just slightly to look his sparkling in the face. He slipped a hand over the sparklings cheek with a light smile “You are so beautiful,” he whispered, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to see you grow up. I’m sure your Sire did a fine job,” his smile suddenly faltered as his hand moved to the young bots shoulder, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.” Blurr squeezed his sparkling, “But I won’t make that mistake again.” He leaned completely out of the hug and stood up, keeping a hand on the young bots shoulder. He looked to Lightwave, “Tomorrow you and Blue are going to stay away from the execution,” Blurr averted his gaze back to Blue for a moment, then beginning to look between them, “Neither of you should have to endure that.”

“And you should?” Lightwave almost spat, “No way,” she said, taking a step towards her Carrier, “I’m going with you, Blue can stay here.”

“No,” Blurr shot immediately, “This isn’t your battle-”

“What do you mean it’s not our battle?!” Lightwave interrupted, “You’re my-” she glanced to Blue, “You’re our Carrier, he’s our Sire. We stick together.”

“Lightwave,” Blurr said sharply. He removed his hand from Blue and faced his oldest sparkling, “This is not up for debate,” he practically whispered, “This is the last order I am going to give you. So follow it.” His hard expression suddenly lightened as he reached out his hands to place on Lightwaves shoulders, “Please,” he nearly pleaded. 

Lightwave’s nearly stoic expression fell under the strain of emotion. She grabbed her Carrier’s wrist and let her arm hang from it, “Okay,” he agreed quietly, “Okay.” 

Blurr did not have to say anything. His eyes thanked her. 

He drew his large sparkling into a tight hug. He squeezed, and she squeezed back, “I am so proud of you,” he whispered. Blurr didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to let go. 

But he knew he had to. 

After the long hug the broken family gathered. 

Blurr wanted to speak but found words stuck in his throat, “Anything you need to know Lightwave can tell you,” he eventually said to Blue, giving up on his own speech function. Blurr looked between his two sparklings, “Get some rest,” he advised, then making his way towards his berthroom, “I will see you in the morning.”

Lightwave seemed confused, but didn’t question her Carrier. She instead looked to Blue, asking where he preferred to sleep. His options were the couch or her room.

Blue didn’t answer the question. He gave a hard stare to the floor before saying anything, “Why doesn’t he want to talk to me?” he asked quietly. 

Lightwave had to think about the question, “It’s probably hard for him,” she answered after a moment, “He thinks he failed you. He let Shockwave take you and turn you into a Decepticon.”

“Why is that such a bad thing?” he snapped, looking to her. 

Lightwave had to think, but she didn’t get to reply before Blue started to speak again, “Sire is a Decepticon,” he spat, “He was willing to love him. Why can’t he love me?”

Lightwave looked almost insulted. She didn’t say anything for a while, trying to organize her thoughts, “He loves you,” she said, not looking at her sibling, “He’s probably doing this all for you.”

“Doing what?” Blue asked as Lightwave started heading to her room. 

Lightwave paused, now turned away from the smaller bot. She half glanced over he shoulder, “I-” she hesitated, turning her head forward, “Get some rest,” she said after a moment, beginning to move again. Before she could get very far she felt a hand grasp her wrist, and pull her back, “No!” Blue cried, forcing his sister to look at him.

The young bot stared up at her with pleading eyes, “I’ve just gotten to meet my Carrier, my Carrier who I thought was dead. And tomorrow my Sire will be!!” Blue’s eyes narrowed as thick tears began to set themselves free, “Please, Lightwave, please tell me what’s going to happen! I’m losing my Sire! I might lose my Carrier, who I never even knew I had!” 

Blue couldn’t hold it in any longer. He couldn’t keep up his stoic act, he couldn’t hold back the unrelenting sense foreboding that invaded his processor. His sire was going to be executed, his Carrier was abandoning them, or at least that’s what it felt like. Blue needed answers. 

Lightwave didn’t know what to say. She quickly knelt down to his level, placing her hands on his shoulders, “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, “I’m sorry you got dragged into this...that-” she didn’t want to think about Shockwave. What would happen. What the two would endure. 

What Blue would endure. 

Lightwave blamed herself. If she had just followed orders, not tried to be the hero, everyone would have gotten out just fine. Everyone would have gotten out alive. 

That wasn’t the case now. Now Lightwave and Blue’s worlds were falling apart. And it was all her fault. 

If she had kept her promise, and followed orders, a backup ship would have never arrived. Shockwave would not have been captured, Blue would not have been here, and no one would have to know what happened on the desolate planet. Carrier would have lied like he always did. 

Carrier couldn’t lie his way out of this one. 

Lightwave drew the younger into her arms. He cried into her shoulder as she apologized, unsure of what else to say. She wanted to tell Blue that he had to be strong. But he had been raised as a Decepticon. He had been ‘strong’ long enough. 

It was time for Lightwave to be strong. At that moment she vowed to herself. 

Come hell or high water, nothing was going to take her brother away. 

 

====================================================================================================================

 

The next morning Blurr woke up his sparklings. They drank their energon as they usually did. They went to work as they usually did. 

They did everything as they usually did. 

This time with a spare member, however. 

Blue did not speak for the day. He noticed how Carrier stared at him, and found it odd that Blurr could not seem to concentrate on anything else. 

Blurr didn’t really care to concentrate on anything else. He hardly paid any attention on the run to work. He barely paid any mind to the reports and missions he received upon arriving. Any conversation struck was ultimately ignored for the sake of greater things. 

It was the first time Blurr got to see his sparkling, so he reveled in every moment. He absorbed every image he could, while he could. 

Everyone was made to leave headquarters early to get ready for the execution that was to take place later that evening.

At the end of the work day Blurr took that hands of his sparklings and rushed them out of the building. He dragged them to the ship he was permitted to take on missions and flew them to the edge of the city where everyone deboarded. Blurr took a moment to look over the city. The sun was just beginning to set, not yet reaching the horizon. The light exploded with bright yellows and oranges as a dark shadow began to form around the city. Blurr turned to his sparklings.

“Whatever you hear,” he started, “Whatever you see. Don’t come back.” Blurr demanded

“Carrier,” Lightwave said sternly, “Please, just tell us what’s going on,” she pleaded, “Maybe- maybe we can help. 

“No.” Blurr replied sharply. He calmed, averting his eyes, “I have made many mistakes, Lightwave- Blue,” he paused, trying to find his words. After a moment he let out a light smile and looked to his young sparklings, “But the greatest decision I have ever made is you,” He turned fully to the sparklings, “I want you to know-” his voice began to shake, “I tried my best.” 

In one move Blurr pulled both of his sparklings into a tight hug, “I’m sorry-” he apologized, “that I couldn’t do better.” He gave the two one last squeeze before letting go and standing up straight, “But I will do right by you.” he said, determination slipping onto his tone. His expression lightened just slightly. He put a light hand on Lightwave’s cheek and stared at her a moment, absorbing her image. 

He let slip a sad smile.

After another second he looked down to Blue. he knelt to the younger’s level, “I’m sorry we have to part so soon,” Blurr apologized. He rested a light hand on the younglings cheek, “Your Sire loved you very much...And so do I. I will see you again someday, Blue. But until then, behave for your sister. Soon she will be all you have.” 

Blurr gave Blue another hug. He squeezed the sparkling tightly before separating and standing up. He drew Lightwave into another tight embrace before pulling away and backing up just slightly to take a good look at his sparklings. 

He gave them a small stiff nod. 

Lightwave returned the gesture. 

“We will be together again,” Blurr promised, “But until then- May Primus look over you.” 

Then Blurr was gone. 

Leaving his sparklings alone. 

Though, they may not be considered sparklings any more. 

 

====================================================================================================================

 

Sentinel’s voice boomed, “This marks a great day for the Autobot cause,” he said over the crowed. He stood on a great stage, making himself a great spectacle. In his hand he held a gun, which would soon be used to extinguish the spark of the prisoner kneeling in the center of the stage. Vid-screens surrounded the stage, with the execution being broadcast live on every screen in the city. More than half the residents were there to see it in person. 

Shockwave could not help but revel slightly in how much honor the Autobots had lost. At this point he was aware of the inevitability of this death. He was not horribly convinced he had any will to live left in him. He was cold, calculating, and logical, and he was aware of how his death would turn the war. How it would turn he had yet to fully asses. He got just the slightest bit of joy seeing how the Autobots had practically destroyed themselves. 

A public execution. 

How petty. 

There hadn’t even been a trial.

Shockwave scanned the crowed. Blurr was nowhere to be found. 

As Sentinel spoke he, too, looked over the crowed. He could not help but notice the lack of a certain blue bot whom he had instructed, specifically, to attend. 

At this he smirked. Insubordination. How predictable. 

“This Decepticon prisoner has been tried, and found guilty!” He lifted the gun, “With this gun!” he yelled over the crowed, “I will turn the tide of the war in our favor. The Decepticons will lose their prize engineer, and the universe will feel a great weight lifted from it’s shoulders! Knowing that it was the Autobots who saved them from the tyranny that would, without this death, no doubt be brought down on them.” 

He stepped in front of Shockwave. He placed the barrel of the gun at the edge of the Decepticon spark chamber “With this gun. I liberate us!” He smirked down at the Decepticon, “Goodnight Shockwave,” he whispered, “I’ll make sure Blurr is well taken care of in your absence.” 

Shockwave looked his executor right in the eye. It sent shivers through Sentinels spine, but the Autobot did not let it show. 

His finger squeezed the trigger. 

But a second later there was no trigger for him to squeeze. 

The gun had been swiped from his hand by a blue flash. 

Sentinel followed the blur. He found his insubordinate soldier standing confidently on the other side of the stage. Gun in hand. 

He stared at Sentinel with a scowl. 

Sentinel just watched. Guards ran up on stage but the prime stopped them from engaging. 

“What is the meaning of this soldier?” he inquired, “You’re interfering with a federal execution. Vacate the stage immediately!”

Blurr pointed to the Magnus, “You are lying to your people, Magnus, all of your people.” Blurr projected over the crowed, “This Decepticon deserves a fair trial. Which you did not give him. You didn’t even run this by the council!” 

Blurr looked to the crowed, “Is this what you want from your ruler!?” he asked the now stirring crowed, “A leader who will lie to you. Execute a bot without a trial. What if he did this to you!? He captures bots and interrogates them if they so much as mention the Decepticons!” 

The crowd began to stir further. They began to discuss and yell out at their magnus. 

“He wants us to forever live in war!?” Blurr continued, holding up the gun, “To deny us serenity!” the crowed was now cheering, and any moment now riots would be breaking, “All your magnus knows is intimidation and violence,” Blurr glanced at the Magnus. He was baffled and at a loss, knowing that arresting Blurr now would only escalate the situation. Blurr turned his attention back to the crowed “I will not fall to him. This dictatorship ends!” he broke the gun over his knee and let the pieces fall to the ground. 

He turned and approached the still kneeling prisoner. He came beside the downed Decepticon “Let this mark the beginning- “ Blurr grabbed his mate under the chin and drew the larger to his face, “of Revolution,” 

Blurr then captured the Decepticon in a passionate kiss. 

The screens lining the city lit up, broadcasting this display publicly for the whole world to see. The world took a pause to watch. The kiss heard round the world. 

The crowd erupted.

“NooooOOOO!!!!” Sentinel roared, ripping Blurr away from Shockwave. Sentinel drew the gun hidden in his wrist, “I won’t let you destroy everything I built!!!” He shoved the weapon into the Decepticons chest. 

And fired. 

Blurr flew forward, but by the time he reached Sentinel it was too late. 

The world felt as though it was moving in slow motion as Blurr watched as Shockwave’s limp body grayed and fell to the stage. Dark. Unmoving. 

Blurr screamed, but he could not hear himself. A sudden, intense, pain surged through his chest. 

Then the world sped up. Blurr shoved past Sentinel and fell to his knees beside the fallen con. Tears flooded from the devastated bots optics and he lifted the head of his dead mate into his lap. He doubled over it, wrapping the limp body in his arms as he sobbed. 

He felt it. 

The pain

The death 

His spark delivered to him what Shockwave had felt upon his demise. It overwhelmed the Autobot. He sobbed into his sparkmates helm. He could feel his own spark beginning to dim.

The enormous crowd gathered began to riot. They overtook the guards and flooded the stage. 

Before he knew it Blurr was ripped away from his partner. 

He screamed and tried to tear away from his captors, but was thwarted in his efforts when something hit him hard over the head. The first time did not knock him out, but on the second blow Blurr began to fall out of consciousness. His gaze never tore away from Shockwave. 

His gray face was the last thing Blurr saw before it all faded away. 

 

====================================================================================================================

 

Lightwave and Blue stood where their Carrier had left them. 

They watched as the sun began to dip over the horizon, shrouding part of the city in darkness. 

They watched as the city erupted. 

They felt the pain in their sparks upon their Sire’s demise. 

And they felt the sorrow of their Carrier as a result. 

Both put a hand on their chest as the feelings flowed subtly through their sparks. 

“So that’s it,” Lightwave spoke after the feelings had dwindled, “It’s over.”

Blue looked at his sister, “But not for us.” 

“Yeah,” she agreed after a moment, her gaze still set on the city, “Not for us.”

There was a moment of pause. Both looked over the city in thought as the red sun began to rapidly set. 

“What do we do now?” Blue asked, looking to his sister again. 

Lightwave took in a long vent, “We leave,” she decided, letting it out. She turned and headed for the ship. Blue turned but did not follow, “Where will we go?” he asked, then going to catch up with his sister. 

“Anywhere we can. We’re free now.” 

“Free?” Blurr questioned as they climbed into the ship. 

Lightwave immediately sat in the pilot’s seat and began preparing the ship for launch. Blue came up behind her but did not sit. He waited for an answer.

“Our Creators-- they made the ultimate sacrifice for us. They’ve given us a chance to escape. To get away from this war that tore them apart.” she lifted the ship into the air and began flying off planet, “They never wanted that for us.” 

Blue sat in the seat beside her, “We can disappear.” he said quietly. He slumped in his seat. 

Lightwave put the ship on autopilot once they were out of the atmosphere. She got up to walk around and check supplies, but was stopped on her mission when an abrupt sob came from Blue. 

The young mech doubled over as endless tears streamed from his optics. He fell out of his chair and was caught by the older femme. Lightwave hugged him as he sobbed. He whaled in his sister’s embrace, the reality of his Sire’s death finally hitting him. He screamed with sorrow, wishing for his Sire, and vowing to never let him down. That he would do him proud. 

Lightwave allowed her tears to slip as she tried to comfort her sibling. She promised, silently, to her Creators listening sparks, that they would live. They would live, and they would be free.

“We have the freedom to choose our own path.” Lightwave whispered as more tears began to stream from her optics. She hiccuped, holding back a sob, “and we’re not going to throw that away.” 

The two sat there for a while allowing themselves to purge their mourning. Blue eventually calmed down. He retired to one of the small berthroom’s to recharge. He needed rest, like anyone would. 

Lightwave fell back in her chair, letting out a short vent. She stared out into the star riddled space and began to think. She thought about what their next move would be, and how the two would go about earning money and keeping themselves off the Autobot and Decepticon radar.

They were neutrals now, but not just any neutrals. They were the spawn of one of the most notorious Decepticons to ever grace the known universe, and one of the most famous racers to ever grace the stage. Their Creators reputations would no doubt prompt someone to come find them. The scene Blurr managed to cause before his capture was certainly motivation as well. Lightwave was aware how much Sentinel hated her family. He would hunt them down out of spite, if nothing else. Which meant the siblings needed to keep moving. 

This ship was their home now. Space was their home now. 

Lightwave picked up a datapad sitting on the control panel with the intention of writing down ideas for work they could pick up. She paused, seeing the datapad was already full. 

After flipping through a few pages she froze. It was a note. 

‘No,’ she thought, going back to the beginning, ‘A story,’

Lightwave began reading. 

“To My Sparklings…” 

 

====================================================================================================================

 

Blurr was shoved into a cell, just peaking out of being unconsciousness with a processor ach hitting him hard. He was dented and bruised, having suffered further abuse after he was already knocked out. 

The cell was damp and cold, made of stone and metal. He was left there alone, waiting until he could go. He needed to make sure they were safe before he let his dimming spark finally be free to join the allspark. He was waiting. He had to wait. 

Not long after he was thrown in the Magnus came to visit. 

“I hope your happy,” he growled, standing before the limp autobot, “It’s anarchy up there! And it is all your fault! You’ve just caused the downfall of your own people!” Sentinel raged, pointing behind him. He calmed just slightly, “I knew from the beginning you were nothing but a dirty liar. A Decepticon sympathizer! You’ve dishonored yourself, soldier.”

Blurr, who was staring at the wall and not at sentinel, spoke with a soft, hoarse voice, “Do not try and talk to me about honor.” he spat. 

Sentinel’s scowl deepened,“You are going away for a very long time, Blurr,” he growled.

Blurr, who had remained still until now, turned his head to face his captor. He smiled, “You have no idea,” he said quietly.

Sentinel took in a deep vent, trying to keep himself from screaming at the despicable bot before him. He let out a stiff ‘hm’ and leaned down again to address the bot, “We’ve noticed that your sparklings are nowhere to be found. Rest assured, Blurr, we will find them. And when we do we’ll be sure to make them very comfortable.

Blurr laughed a stiff hum, “You’re never going to find them.”

“I bet,” Sentinel murmured, then walking towards the door, “Enjoy your stay. As long as I’m alive, you won’t be leaving that cell. Ever.” and then the door closed, leaving Blurr alone in the dark cell once again. 

It did not take long for Blurr to feel what he had been waiting for.

They were away. They were safe. 

Finally.

Blurr sighed with relief. He could finally let his spark rest. 

Great claws reached down to meet him. 

With a light smile Blurr reached up and placed his hand in the larger’s. The strong hand helped Blurr to his feet. 

“Hello, my dear,” Shockwave greeted quietly.

“Shockwave,” Blurr smiled. A great light began to shine beside them, erasing the cell

“Do you believe they’ll be alright?” Shockwave inquired, leading his mate into the light.

Blurr smiled lightly. He took a glance back to the world he was leaving behind. In that instant the long life he’d lived flashed before his eyes. The hardship and struggle. The war fought. The love gained and so quickly lost. His lowest moments, his greatest achievements. And her. His greatest achievement. He watched her grow up, her beautiful smile, so rare, lit up his dying spark. Lightwave. His daughter. His sparkling. He relished every moment spent with her. Right up to the very last second. That last glance. 

He smiled, “I think they’ll be just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this had end credits the song playing over would be Safe and Sound, by Taylor Swift. I am not an overly emotional person, but as I was reading over this chapter I listened to this song and it nearly brought me to tears. I don't get emotional over my own writing. If I do that's how I know I must have done something right. A quick reminder to please not hate me.
> 
> Thank you, and Goodnight.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my best work, I apologize.


End file.
